As if it wasn’t hard enough find a decent dude to date already, now they’re pulling some new BS move called “throning.” This one is basically when a guy dates you because he sees you as being someone who can boost his popularity. Here’s how to spot if it’s happening to you.
He wants to show you off. Yeah, you want to be with a guy who’s proud to have you on his arm, but it’s not cool if he treats you like an object. If he’s keen to show his friends how cool or gorgeous you are, he’s probably just with you for the ego boost he gets by having you around.
He only compliments you on one thing. If your boyfriend only compliments you on certain things, such as your gorgeous looks or how ambitious you are, then you might feel a bit awkward and you should. It’s like he’s with you for those traits, not who you are as a whole person. Why? Maybe he’s hoping to benefit from them.
He’s hoping your traits will rub off on him. If he’s going through a tough time and you’re making a success of your career, he might get with you in the hope that your ambition will motivate him to get his life sorted. Or, if you’re leading a healthy lifestyle but he’s in a really unhealthy place, he might hope that by dating someone who’s good to herself he’ll learn how to treat himself better. In other words, he’s using you.
It’s all about his needs. He only wants to talk when he needs your support. He only wants to see you when he’s the one making plans. If everything has to be done according to his standards and on his timescale, you have to wonder why. It’s like you’re just there to meet all his needs and make him feel like he’s in control.
He primarily texts you in the middle of the night. If he only texts you when it’s late and he’s horny, the guy’s making it clear that he just wants to hook up. You’re there to give him pleasure, not connect with him on an emotional or intellectual level. It’s all about the superficial goals for him.
It’s always a group date. He loves inviting you out when his friends or co-workers are around. It’s like he wants to show you off to everyone. That’s great, but then when you suggest a one-on-one dinner or movie, he’s ready with an excuse for why he can’t meet up. Ugh.
You meet his friends but don’t connect with them. It’s a good sign when the guy you’re dating wants you to meet his friends, but the guy who’s throning you is just keen for you to meet them so that he can impress them by showing them what an amazing catch you are. He doesn’t actually want you to connect with them. You’re just a trophy.
He fell hard and fast. The guy who’s smitten with you by date number two is usually a red flag, and he might be throning you. He appears to have real feelings for you but it’s clear that he’s not really all that interested in what you’re about. He might just be interested in getting physical or hanging around because you’re so awesome. But there’s no genuine emotion there.
He tells you what to wear. He says you’re meeting his friends so he wants you to look gorgeous. He might even have the nerve to add that he wants you to wear your sexy LBD. What a jerk. When he wants to show you off to people and goes so far as to try to control how you appear to those in his life, it’s clear he’s just with you because you make him look good.
You’re out of his league. The idea of dating leagues can be cruel and unfair, but sometimes you can’t help but notice that you’re much classier than the guy you’re dating. If that’s the case, maybe he’s desperately trying to make the relationship with you work because he wants others to respect him and he thinks that will happen more when they see that you’re with him. Even if he’s had a string of unhealthy relationships, he’s hoping that getting with you will make them think, “Hey, if a classy woman can date him, he can’t be that bad, can he?”
He’s a couple selfie king. He seems much more interested in paying attention to how people view your relationship than making sure the relationship is satisfying to both of you in real life. He wants to take lots of couple selfies and post them on Instagram. It’s all about getting “likes” and he feels like a million bucks when friends comment on the pics of the two of you by saying how gorgeous you are and how lucky he is. Uh oh.
He’s a window shopper. How can you tell that his waxing lyrical of you is fake AF? By how he’s always checking out other women! Whether you’re having a dinner together or you’re out with his friends, he’s always noticing and perving over other women. It’s sick. He views women as nothing more than ego-boosting accessories.
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