12 Signs It’s Time To Let Go Of That Guy Who Doesn’t Deserve You

When you get really comfortable in a relationship, it’s hard to move on and forget about the guy you invested so much time and effort on, even when you know that you deserve so much better. You’re constantly torn between trying to make it work and moving on to better things. If you notice any of these 12 signs, it’s definitely time to GTFO.

  1. He calls you “crazy” for speaking up. Let me make this clear—a guy who calls you crazy doesn’t have any respect for you. You should never feel afraid of speaking up about how you feel and no one, especially not your boyfriend, should belittle you for it. Chances are, he labels you as “crazy” to cover up his own insecurities. If he keeps putting you down, it’s time to put him in his place.
  2. He always puts his needs first. Everything is about him and never about you. It would be great if he put you first for once, but trying to communicate with him feels like a huge waste of time. He doesn’t know what it means to compromise and perhaps he never will. Instead of seeing you as his equal, he puts himself above you as if his needs are much more important than yours. He’s incredibly selfish and unfortunately, it doesn’t look like he’s ever going to change.
  3. He never offers to pay. It’s not about how much money he’s spending on you, it’s about whether he is willing to pay for you. When you go out for dinner, does he pick up the bill sometimes or does he always wait for you to pay? If he expects you to pay for his share every time you go out, then clearly he’s taking you for granted. It’s worth noting that if he’s like this now, it’s only going to get worse the longer you stay together.
  4. He flirts with other women. It goes without saying, but if the guy who claims that he loves you is flirting with other women right in front of your eyes, well, you can’t believe a word he says. It’s downright insulting and it’s proof that he doesn’t respect you.
  5. He talks about himself but never asks about you. This guy is so self-absorbed that he doesn’t even bother to ask you simple things like how your day was but he could talk for ages about what’s going on in his own life. Alarm bells should be ringing—run!
  6. He makes jokes about your insecurities. Some guys think it’s acceptable to make comments about a girl’s appearance and play it off as a “joke” just to make themselves feel better. Those kinds of guys are the ones you want to avoid at all costs. If it makes you feel insecure about yourself, and your boyfriend continues to do it, then he doesn’t respect you at all. It’s not a loving relationship, and you need to get out now.
  7. He tells so many lies that you don’t know what the truth is anymore. If he thinks he can gain something from it, he’ll spin the truth completely to his benefit. You’ve caught him telling a lie on more than one occasion and now you’re starting to doubt everything he tells you. If he’s constantly lying to your face, he doesn’t have a high opinion of you. Leave him.
  8. He doesn’t offer to help with anything. When there’s a problem that you need help with, he’s suddenly unavailable and it’s just a little bit TOO convenient. But you shouldn’t have to ask for his help, he should offer it because he wants to help you in any he can. It doesn’t matter what excuse he comes up with; his absence tells you more than words ever could.
  9. He embarrasses you in public. Whether he does it intentionally or not, there’s no excuse for publically humiliating someone. He probably does this 1) for attention and 2) to get a reaction from you. Don’t let him make you feel inferior—he’s only making a fool of himself.
  10. He doesn’t support your career. If you love your partner, you’ll support whatever career they choose (within reason, of course) and you’d expect the same. But whenever you try to talk to him about your job, he couldn’t care less. He doesn’t understand just how important it is to you, and to be honest, you don’t need someone like that in your life.
  11. He’s emotionally distant when you need him the most. It speaks volumes when a guy is physically close but emotionally absent at a time when you really need him. He’s so detached when it comes to talking about your feelings that it leaves you feeling like he doesn’t even care about you. It all comes down to this: If you can’t rely on your boyfriend for emotional support, then why are you still with him? He’s not giving you what you need.
  12. You’re starting to lose yourself. Maybe you don’t want to admit it but the relationship has changed you – and not in a good way. You don’t recognize yourself anymore, and neither do your friends and family. They can see that you’re not happy, and the longer you stay, the more you will lose yourself. Trust me, I know it’s hard to walk away when you’ve become so settled, but you need to start putting yourself and your own needs first.
Coralle is a freelance writer with an interest in relationships, women's health and parenting. In her free time, she enjoys reading, watching new Netflix shows and spending time with family.
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