You’re enjoying your FWB situation when you realize your “friend” actually wants more than benefits—he wants an actual relationship. Here are 12 signs that his mind’s on more than hooking up.
- He’s hinted that you’re exclusive. He might just be your casual hookup buddy, but he’s always hinting that he’s not with anyone else. In fact, he might even go as far as to say he’s not interested in dating anyone else.
- He doesn’t like you flirting with other guys. It used to be the case that you could hang out and flirt with other guys in your FWB’s presence and he wouldn’t bat an eyelid or even notice. But now he suddenly looks a bit moody when that happens. Hm. Jealous, much?
- He wants to talk. You guys still hook up at his place like always but these days something’s a bit different. He wants to have a conversation after doing the deed instead of just rushing out the door. He might even ask you some real questions about your life and work that he never really seemed interested in asking about before.
- He gets in touch a lot. He used to send you late-night texts to see if you wanted to “hang out,” but now he’s texting you at all hours of the day, and sometimes for really random reasons. For example, he might text you to tell you something funny that happened at work or he might send you a dog meme because he remembered you have a Husky. It’s like he’s finding any excuse to talk to you.
- He puts down guys you date. If you’ve started casually dating other guys in the hope of having a relationship with one of them, your FWB knows that your fun time together is coming to an end. If he’s interested in having a serious relationship with you, he’s going to show that he’s unhappy about the change. He might not have the courage to tell you how he feels, so he might put down the guys you’re interested instead.
- He can be with you and not have sex. This is a biggie. The whole point of having a FWB is to get some action whenever you want. You used to hook up literally every time you hung out, but now when he asks you to his place, he can chill with you all night, just talking without actually taking you to the bedroom. Ooh-la-la, things are happening.
- He extends your “dates.” Perhaps you guys didn’t really spend much time together outside of the bedroom after sex in the past. Now, he’s keen to lengthen the time you do spend with each other. He might even find silly excuses to make you stay with him longer, like by suggesting he take a look at your wonky car lights.
- He asks you out. Instead of chilling at his place yet again, he might ask you out to dinner or for coffee. He’s clearly taking the FWB setup to a new level and making things about more than just hooking up. Of course, if your friend was always keen to hang out as friends in the past, then this point doesn’t mean much. However, it’s worth noticing if the behavior is new.
- He gets closer, in different ways. You guys might be pretty close physically, but lately it seems like he’s keen to open up his thoughts and feelings to you about a range of different things. If this is happening, then you’re unveiling real intimacy and it’s usually a sign that more is going to happen between you.
- He gives you a pet name. You wouldn’t expect your FWB to give you a pet name because that’s more of a thing couples do. It’s also a sign that he’s being romantic. So, if he’s calling you “honey” all of a sudden, it’s a sign. Extra points if the name he’s chosen for you links up to an inside joke you two share.
- He doesn’t call you his friend. You guys might be friends, but if he’s changing how he introduces you to people, then that’s a good sign he’s keen to take things out of the FWB zone. He might not call you his GF, of course, but he might just introduce you by name instead of giving you the “friend” label. At the moment you’re in the grey zone, but soon he’s going to want to move things forward to a real relationship.
- Sex feels closer. It used to be just about sex and you could deal with the no-strings-attached requirement, but lately it feels like sex is a lot more intimate. Maybe he’s spending more time kissing you and indulging in foreplay than he used to, for example. If there’s an emotional element to the sexy times, that tells you that something else is going on. He could be catching some real feelings for you.