Relationships are a tricky dynamic to uphold. Whether familial, platonic, or romantic, each successful relationship depends on how much each person contributes to it. At one point, you have to step back and analyze such situations because they can be very toxic. If you find yourself in one (or more) of the following situations, it’s time to burn that bridge.
You’re Always There for Them but They’re Never There for You.
Suppose your “friend” is constantly calling you when they need a favor, and you, being the good friend, always put on pants and come to their rescue. When roles are reversed, your supposed buddy is always “busy” doing something else. Relationships are all about give and take, so when they take and take, it’s time to stop giving. It’s okay to be a little demanding in your relationships.
They’re Always Talking About Themselves.
The next time you talk, count how many times they talk about themselves. Do they ask about you at all? Do they listen when you speak? Is the conversation balanced or do they monopolize the conversation? These are indicators of one-sided relationships (and narcissism).
They Always Accept Your Gifts but Never Return the Sentiment.
They’re constantly forgetting your birthday or not getting you anything for the holidays despite the fact that they should definitely know by now. It’s not selfish to want to feel appreciated, especially if you’re always thinking of them.
You’re Always Their Last Choice.
If you know what it’s like to be picked last in gym class, you know that it sucks. When someone who’s actually supposed to care about you makes you feel like that, you need to let them go. It’s not fair to you. You don’t want to be anyone’s second choice, let alone someone’s last.
You Always Initiate Communication.
If you have to constantly be the one to start the conversation, chances are they don’t think of you the same way you think of them. Furthermore, if they take forever to answer your texts, it’s obvious you aren’t a priority for them. It’s not unreasonable to want your friends or significant other to care enough about you to ask how you are or invite you places, is it?
They Always Choose Others Over You.
When your buddy or your boyfriend is always canceling on you to do things with other people, they obviously don’t care much about your feelings. If they want to do something else, they can always invite you.
You Always Catch Them Lying to You.
When someone lies to you, whether it be a friend or otherwise, it shows a lack of respect. So, when someone you’re supposed to be able to trust is constantly fibbing and telling white lies, that’s not someone you need in your life. If they also force you to lie or your other friends to lie to you then it’s time to cut that tie.
They Introduce You as Someone Lesser.
The language someone uses can be very telling. If your partner introduces you as a friend or your friend introduces you as a coworker or something along those lines, chances are they don’t see you in the same capacity that you see them. For example, I had a friend I lived with that would always classify me as their roommate whereas I would refer to her as my friend. If that’s the case, then you have to decide if you’re okay with this dynamic or let it go.
They Disregard or Minimalize Your Feelings.
Without making this sound like a Hallmark moment, your feelings matter, and they should matter to someone who cares about you. If they never ask about how you feel even if you’re visibly upset about something, then they simply don’t give a crap. If you do express your feelings about someone and they tell you what you feel is stupid or unwarranted without even trying to empathize, then not only are they inconsiderate but they’re just bad friends.
You’re Always Wondering What You Did Wrong.
When someone becomes flippant with you and makes you feel neglected, your first instinct is to wonder what you did wrong. When you feel like that all the time, it’s clear the problem is on them not you. At one point, you have to realize that you did nothing wrong and move on. If you do know that you did something to upset them but try as you might, you can’t earn their forgiveness, your friendship may not mean as much to them as you thought it did. Either way, it may be necessary to part ways.
They Never Follow Through on Their Promises.
One of my biggest pet peeves is having someone say they’ll call or claim they want to hang out but never do. If they do, it’s only on their terms. A good friend or significant other will be there when they say they’ll be there and you shouldn’t settle for anything less. Follow-through is a must in any good partnership.
You Feel Like You’re Being Taken for Granted.
While probably the most obvious, it does warrant a mention. You shouldn’t ignore your feelings, especially because they’ll bottle up over time and eventually explode. You’ll start to feel resentful, which will invite even more negativity into the relationship. So, at this point, you have two options: (1) talk it out or (2) end it before it gets worse. You deserve to associate with people who give a damn about you.
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