12 Signs You’re Too Immature To Date Me

I’m done dating boys; I need a grown man. Unfortunately, a lot of guys walk around acting like they’re ready for mature relationships when in reality, they’re still acting like we’re in high school. If you do any of these things, you’re way too immature to date me — come back when you’ve grown up a bit.

  1. You worry about who’s in control. Who wears the pants? Seriously? Come on. Our relationship should be a partnership with no one person “in control” — we should be making decisions together. If we ever want this to work, then we need to be equals. I’m looking for a democracy, so if you want a dictatorship then hit the bricks, buddy.
  2. You don’t know how to commit. I don’t have another second to waste on a guy who’s afraid of a real relationship. If you can’t commit to me then you’re obviously not interested enough in me. You’re still in your player phase and you want to have your cake and eat it too. That’s fine, but that means you’re not ready for a relationship with me.
  3. You still like to play mind games. If you still want to mess with girls’ heads, then you better pick another victim to prey on because it won’t be me. I refuse to be with a man who can’t make up his mind about me. Or a man who needs to test my love for him. Games are for children, and if you’re still playing them then you’re not serious enough about love for me.
  4. You wait forever to text me back. I’m referring to it as waiting because it’s not that you’re exactly busy, it’s really that you just don’t feel like texting me back at the moment and want to keep me on my toes. Instead, you just make me linger on the other end until you get bored and decide to once again grace me with your presence. No way. I’m not playing that game.
  5. You share your sex life with your bros. If you want to be with me then you’re going to have to learn to keep our private life private. Your boys aren’t welcome in our bedroom in any sense. That’s a private and personal aspect of our relationship meant for only you and me. If you still feel the need to brag to your boys then you’re just not mature enough to date me.
  6. You can’t handle confrontation. If you’re going to run from our problems then we’re never going to find any solutions. Refusing to fight just makes the issue grow bigger. I need a guy who isn’t scared off by a little confrontation. I want a guy who’s willing to do whatever it takes to find a resolution to any issue we might have. We have to love each other through the good times and bad because a relationship won’t survive without compromise.
  7. You’re too busy for a relationship. A grown man should be able to make time for the woman in his life. Being “too busy” for a relationship is just an excuse. I have a life too and if I can find the time to see you, then you should be able to do the same for me.
  8. You want to take things slower than molasses. It’s not that you just want to take things slow, it’s that I’m not sure you’ll ever be ready for the next step. Every minuscule step in our relationship is a mountain. We’re not moving forward. In fact, it feels like we’re moving backward, and I’m definitely not interested in that.
  9. You’re not willing to work for a relationship. Who ever said having a relationship was going to be easy? It’s naive to assume that. It’s going to take some serious work, but if you’re not willing to even try, then what’s the point? Boys want everything handed to them. Men put in hard work if they want to succeed. If you want our relationship to survive, you’ll happily make an effort.
  10. You don’t know how to make me a priority. I get it — you have a lot going on in your life. Welcome to adulthood. That’s what being a grown-up is all about — juggling everything you have going on in your life. That includes me. You can’t just let me fall by the wayside and expect me to drop everything to you. If you really want me in your life, you’ll find a way to make me a priority.
  11. You think you have a right to tell me what to do. You’re my boyfriend, not my boss. Accepting the status as your girlfriend doesn’t mean you have a right to run my life. You don’t get to tell me where I can go or who I can hang out with. This is still my life, and you’re a big part of it, but at the end of the day, I’m still running my own show.
  12. You keep secrets. If I can’t trust you then I just plain can’t be with you. If you have skeletons in your closet then I want to know about them. I don’t want to find out from someone else. I should hear it from you. A lie of omission is still a lie, so you shouldn’t keep things from me. Boys have secrets, but men know how to be open and honest. A little maturity is all I want from you.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.