Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t necessarily mean that you and your man are on the same page. As human beings, we all want different things at different times, and sometimes that makes us clash in our relationships. Maybe you’re ready to settle down but he isn’t, which sometimes happens. The last thing you want to do is waste your time with a guy who will never truly commit. But how can you tell if that’s the case?
He’s living with roommates. Living with roommates isn’t a sign of immaturity or anything, but does lack some of the autonomy that is usually required before a guy might consider locking things down for the rest of time.
He doesn’t include you when he mentions his future plans. If your guy has big plans to eventually move out of state and build a home but doesn’t throw any “we” markers in there, he might not be thinking of taking you along.
He fights poorly. Communication in tense moments can be tough, but a guy who’s mature enough for marriage is going to handle each disagreement or fight like the adult that he is. No dipping out in the heat of the moment or throwing tantrums here.
He doesn’t ask about your goals and plans. A guy who might consider spending time with you in the future is going to want to know all of your plans, hopes, and dreams to not only make sure that they can mesh with his, but so that he can support them.
You haven’t met his family. Sometimes it takes time for a guy to introduce you to his family (as it should), but if you notice that he never seems to mention you when his mom calls, he might not be taking things as seriously as you think.
He avoids your family. If you’ve made it clear that you’d love him to accompany you to family events but he finds ways around it, he might be avoiding them because it’s just not important to him to please them, or to be around them all.
He’s super indecisive. Marriage is one of the biggest decisions you can make, so if he can’t decide on anything, whether it’s what kind of car to get or what to eat for dinner, he might not be the best at commitment quite yet.
He talks about other girls. You guys are together, but he still mentions every girl that hits on him and who he thinks is hot at work. It doesn’t necessarily mean he’s going anywhere, but he isn’t entirely focused on making you feel like the only girl in the world either.
Your relationship falls flat around his friends. A committed guy will encourage you to be friends with his friends, but also treat you like his girl in front of them. If he backs off with you around his friends, he might be trying to send the message that things aren’t totally settled yet.
He can’t say no. Even if you want your man to say ultimately say yes, he should be able to set healthy boundaries and say no to you sometimes, too. Without that ability, someone will be making some poor compromises that will affect your relationship later on down the line.
He’s defensive instead of receptive. A guy who’s supportive of who you are will make the effort to at least hear what you have to say before he completely shuts everything down and shuts you out.
He doesn’t have good follow-through. If your guy is full of ideas and plans but doesn’t end up following through on most of them, that points to his integrity levels. They just might not be high enough yet to take that marriage leap.
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