12 Signs You’ve Become Cynical

You probably see yourself as a realist. You don’t have time for sugar-coating or living in a fantasy land. You think being pessimistic is cute and funny – plus, it’s just the way you are… whether people like it or not! Are you seeing the world for what it is, or is it possible you’ve become cynical? If you identify with the below, chances are you should step back and check your attitude.

  1. You only speak one language, and it’s sarcasm. Unfortunately, this doesn’t always translate well over text… especially if you’re talking to a new guy who doesn’t really get you.
  2. Your resting bitch face is becoming a problem.Strangers ask you if you’re okay, and it’s hard to explain that your face just looks like this.
  3. Facebook official is way too big of a step for you.You refuse to let the Facebook relationship out of the bag because you know as soon as you go FBO, it will all come to a screeching halt. You’ve learned that if it seems to be too good to be true, it probably is.
  4. You can’t take a compliment. When that guy you’ve been seeing told you that you have beautiful eyes in the most romantic way, you responded by awkwardly laughing and looking away. You’d prefer a high five to a heartfelt compliment any day.
  5. Every time you hear the word wedding you automatically think divorce.Or first marriage. You hate dropping dollars on marriages you know will eventually end, but you’re definitely excited for the party that follows the wedding party…the divorce party.
  6. You come with a warning.Before a friend introduces you to someone new, they always warn them about you first. You decided that a disclaimer might not be such a bad thing, so you started warning people about your issues, too, completely putting them off before you can even start anything.
  7. You’re the Queen of First Date City.No need getting yourself even more interested in Mr. Seemingly Perfect when he’s ultimately going to disappoint you.
  8. You think everyone you meet is either a serial killer or a child molester.Blame it on Law & Order: SVU. Put down the remote and step away from the television. Not every man you meet wants to murder you (in fact, he probably has something else on his mind entirely).
  9. You refuse to put any effort into getting ready for a date.Why waste your expensive makeup and spend an hour straightening your hair on someone you know you’re going to hate anyway? Consequently, you’re always late — blame it on the lack of caring.
  10. Strangers come up to you on the street and tell you to smile. This only deepens your frown further, which means you could be mistaken for Grumpy Cat.
  11. You quit Facebook because you can’t deal with another “I said yes!” post. You’re so over horrifying engagement photos, people getting married that are 100 years younger than you, and baby bumps. (Seriously, are people going to start status updating the entire birth process soon?) Actually, you quit Facebook because you hate everyone you know and everything they’re doing.

Your friends keep telling you you’ll never find someone if you keep being cynical. True.

Photo courtesy: NBC

Rachael is an award winning stand-up comedienne, freelance writer, and BravoTV superfan. Her Real Housewives tagline is “The only thing bigger than my boobs are my personalities.” In her spare time, she keeps busy catering to the needs of a very spoiled Siberian Husky, (Paris Hilton), cleaning the skeletons out of her closet (to make room for more shoes), and swiping left to everyone on Tinder. Follow her on twitter @therealplandd.