12 Terrible Lies Your Broken Heart Tells You After A Breakup

You’ve got Taylor Swift on repeat, ordered Chinese six nights in a row and have worn the same pajamas for three days — welcome to life post-breakup. It sucks and you feel broken, but it’s not going to be like this forever — no, really, it won’t — so don’t allow yourself to believe the crap that’s going on in your head. In other words, don’t believe these lies:

You missed out on something amazing. Come on now, now’s not the time to look back on your busted relationship with rose-tinted glasses. There were fatal problems that caused the breakup — otherwise it wouldn’t have happened. The only chance you’re missing is that of having happiness with someone more suitable because you’re pining for what was. Stop living in the past because it’s dead.

You’ll never find anyone else. You feel like you had your shot at love and you’ll never have it again. Life is a little kinder than that. There are so many guys out there just waiting to meet you, and they’re smart, funny and handsome. Best of all, they won’t do a runner out of your life faster than Usain Bolt.

You’re unloveable. So you got cheated on and you think that if you were just smarter/prettier/had less cellulite that the jerk would have stuck around and loved you. But many gorgeous and intelligent women have been cheated on. I’m talking Halle Berry, Jennifer Aniston, and plenty of others. The problem is with the guy, not you.

It’s getting harder to find someone. Yes, it’s easier for a woman to get hijacked or struck by lightning or find a manicure that actually lasts than it is to find a great guy (or however that stupid staying goes). It’s total BS. There’s no time limit on love and it can happen at any time.

You made a huge mistake. Maybe you were the one who ended the relationship and although you thought that’s what you wanted, once you actually did it, you discovered that a part of you wanted to hit the ‘erase’ button. It’s funny how relationships tend to look better when they’re about to end. Honestly, going back would bring back the good times and the crappy reasons why you wanted to end things in the first place. Don’t get caught up in a loop.

You should call your ex. You can’t seem to get over your ex and maybe there’s a reason for that, right? Maybe it’s a sign that you need to call him up and see if you can have another go at things. Put the tequila shot down — the relationship is wrecked. Your feelings are currently like newly-amputated limbs. They’re still going to fool you into thinking they’re real for a while because you’re so used to feeling them, but then they will pass. You’ll be so glad you didn’t call that jerk.

You have flaws and maybe the next guy won’t accept them. Your ex really loved all the things you consider to be your flaws, so now that you’re alone, you might worry that you won’t find another guy who will. That’s crazy. You don’t need a guy to love the things you hate about yourself in order to feel worthy, okay? There are plenty of guys out there who won’t only love your flaws, but love them forever.

You wasted so much time. Ugh. Sometimes you’re crushed over the breakup, then reality starts to seep in and you think how terrible it is that you wasted months or years on a guy who wasn’t worth your time. Argh, if you could just have all that time back and do something more productive with it. But who’s to say that time was a waste? It probably taught you loads about yourself that you needed to learn.

You were a fool to stay so long. Your guy put you through heartache and you stuck around. What the hell were you thinking? Okay, wait. Before you beat yourself up, just remember that what counts is you got out eventually and you’ll never put yourself in such a crappy situation again.

You just knew he’d be too good for you. You might have felt insecure throughout the relationship, always fearing that your boyfriend would ditch or betray you, and now that those things have happened you’re telling yourself, “I told you so! He was going to leave because he’s out of your league!” Whoa, hold up. He left because he’s not good enough for you, not the other way round. God, why would you even want someone who makes you feel so insecure?

You need to find a new guy, like, yesterday. Having time to heal after a breakup is good, but you’re anxious to get back on the horse and ride it to the nearest singles club. It’s actually really awesome to be alone after you’ve gone through a breakup. You’re free! Once the dust settles, you’ll be happy that you don’t have some annoying guy to deal with and you can just ride off to the nearest Steve Madden sale or somewhere else that makes you happy without someone busting your balls. Yee-haw!

You’re two dates away from getting a truckload of cats. The dating world is a rough place and once you get back onto the scene, you’ll see yet again how many jerks and players are out there. But that doesn’t have to make you cynical. Ugh, you know what? Even if you do become cynical and a huge-ass spinster with enough cats to make your neighbours call animal services, it’s still better than being with a terrible guy. Fact!

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