12 Terrible Pick-Up Lines We Wish Guys Would Stop Using

Pick-up lines are pretty  much all terrible in their own way, but there are some seriously God awful ones out there that guys refuse to drop. Why they don’t understand that it’s possible to get our numbers without making us want to cringe is beyond me. Here’s 12 pick-up lines that we could definitely live without:

  1. *Smashes ice on table* “Well, now that the ice is broken…” Em, you just made a mess, which is just rude to the bar staff. Plus, it’s just lazy and incredibly corny (but I’ve seriously had a guy use this in real life). This line screams, “I don’t want to have to bother with small talk, nor do I know how to approach a woman like a human being and instead I need a gimmick to catch her attention.” Keep walking, dude.
  2. “Oh, what does your tattoo say?” Okay, so this isn’t the worst pick-up line ever, but guys seriously need to fine tune how they use it. Firstly, do not physically touch the tattoo in question when you’re inquiring about it. That’s not charming, it’s invasive. Just because a girl has ink doesn’t give you permission to touch her. Oh, and when she answers you, how about you try to pretend to be interested?
  3. “I was trying to have a night out with the guys and you just totally ruined it by being so cute.” Guys that go out for “guys’ nights” and stick so rigorously to the “code” that talking to you is a big no-no is a major turn off. Like, do you really think that I want to hook up with a bro? No, thanks.
  4. “What do you like for breakfast?” Mmm… Breakfast. I’m sorry, what were you saying?
  5. “Do you believe in love at first sight…or should I walk around you three or four more times?” Hmm, maybe a few hundred laps might do it? Who knows! Seriously dude, not all women are as hopelessly romantic as you assume they are. We’ve our heads on straight, and this pick-up line implies that you don’t appreciate that.
  6. “If I said you have a gorgeous body, would you hold it against me?” Nope, I’d move it away from you. Far away from you. Like, to another planet. I hear cheesy creepiness is infectious.
  7. “Go ahead. I give you permission to pick me up.” Oh, that’s what I was doing? Gosh. Thanks for informing me — I actually had no idea.
  8. “I forgot my phone number, can I have yours?” This line is so overused that it’s not even funny anymore… And since being funny is all it had going for it in the first place, it’s a complete bust now.
  9. “You look like trouble!” This line can go one of two ways. Either the girl is trouble, in which case you’ve probably bitten off more than you can chew using that crappy pick-up line on her, or the girl isn’t trouble at all and will spend the next few minutes wondering why she gave off that impression.
  10. “I bet you $50 you’re not going to talk to me”… Okay, you lose. Fork it over. I mean, what were you expecting with that one?
  11. “You might as well kiss me because I’m going to tell everybody we did it anyway.” And that’s my cue to leave, you ultra-creep.
  12. “If I follow you home, will you keep me?” Whoever thinks this is cute, has no empathy for what it is to be a woman walking home alone at night. Not cool, dude.
Sarah is a full-time content marketer, part-time freelancer. She’s a serial hobbyist (which just means that she does a lot of random things, but none of them particularly well). Her real talent lies in her ability to consume copious amounts of wine, whilst discussing feminism and reading A Song of Ice and Fire for the 8th time... All while saving puppies from burning houses, of course. You can see more of her work here, or pop over to Twitter and say “‘ello ‘ello” @daughterdipstik