12 Things You Should Know How To Do By Now (But You Probably Don’t)

You’re an adult…technically. But you don’t feel any more mature than you did when you were in high school. Sure, you now have a credit card and you use words like “budget.” But you don’t know how to actually budget and yet people are expecting you to make grown-up decisions. How are you supposed to do that when there’s still so much you don’t know? It’s okay if you feel like an ignorant individual, we all do. You’re not alone in being completely clueless about these 12 things, so don’t feel bad.

How To Kill A Spider Without Screaming

You’re not an exterminator and it’s not fair that you’re expected to gear up and kill a life just because a spider crawled unannounced into your home from the opening in your bathroom wall. Sure, some people would have no problem keeping their composure and slamming a shoe into that spider’s brains, but you’re not like that. You have feelings, which is why you scream bloody murder and call your boyfriend/mom/roommate to take care of things.

How To Not Take Things Personally

 You know you shouldn’t cry when your boss asks you to redo the work you spent hours completing. And you know you shouldn’t care when a guy you think is hot rejects you. But you’re only human. You can’t help but take things that feel personal, personally. I mean, how is a guy rejecting you not personal?

How To Buy Clothes Without Asking Your Friends

 Are there people who seriously shop alone? If so, that’s amazing and those people should be applauded. You, on the other hand, have to send at least 15 pictures of yourself (in the clothing) to your friends so that they can give you feedback. You just don’t know how to make a purchase without getting at least a few “adorable, definitely buy it” texts from your besties.

How To Have An Effective Argument

Most of your arguments end in shouting and explicit language. You just can’t help it! You’re passionate and when people say things that contradict your truth, you get even more passionate. And yes, you might start talking fast, waving your hands around, and screaming words like “MISOGYNY” at the top of your lungs. You know you should work on your “communication skills” but right now the world is too messed up for you to bother being polite.

How To Talk To Children

 Anyone under the age of 16 is now a child to you, and you have no idea how to talk to children. Nowadays, teenagers are weird. They’re all weirdly hipster and you can never tell if they’re shy or just really really mean. You can’t relate to today’s youth, and you can’t relate to old people either (they just take too long to tell pointless stories and they don’t understand why Instagram is better than Facebook). Being a 20-something sucks!

How To Not Spend So Much Money On Makeup

 Unlike clothes, you can’t exactly buy cheap makeup. There’s no second hand Sephora store, you can’t walk into Good Will and ask to be pointed to their foundation aisle. Unfortunately, a world like that doesn’t exist, so how are you supposed to not spend hundreds of dollars on makeup you NEED in order to survive?! It’s impossible.

How To Schedule Your Own Appointments

 Remember the good old days when your mom made all your doctor appointments? Honestly, we think mothers should still be responsible for that. They’re just better at talking to appointment setters than us young adults. Most of the time you either forget to make your monthly check-up or you call last minute trying to get an appointment for that week and getting pissed off when they say their next opening is three months away. But real talk, why’s it so hard to get a dentist appointment?

How To Dress Up

You try your best to dress up and look nice when you go out, but usually, after 10 outfit changes, you end up putting on what you always put on (or you just end up canceling your plans altogether). You’d love to know how to dress like those adults you see in those Macy commercials. They look so chic.

How To Drink More Water

They say you should drink eight ounces of water a day. Even if you knew exactly how much water that was (because what even is eight ounces?), you wouldn’t know to drink that much water. Seriously, how are you supposed to do that? Swap your morning, afternoon, and evening coffee for Smart Water? Ha! In what world could water do more for you than coffee?

How To Buy Groceries

You know how to go to a store and pick up groceries. What you don’t know how to do is buy the right kind of groceries. Before you get to the store, you always think you have a plan of action. “I’m just going to get the necessities,” you tell yourself.  But once you walk in you’re inspired by all the fresh products and tasty treats that you end up blowing your food money on organic peanut butter, and vegan chocolate chip cookies because Kourtney Kardashian eats vegan and if you eat vegan, you’ll become Kourtney Kardashian.

How To Open Up About Your Feelings

Dating is nonsense! Not just because more people are interested in polygamy than monogamy, but also because talking about “feelings” is really really hard. You have to get in tune with your emotions, look the person in the face, and express how you feel…..ugh! Sounds horrible!

How To Avoid Messy Situations

You’re young and because you’re young you have a YOLO mentality. Your motto? “Screw it.” And that’s the reason why you usually end up in dicey situations. It’s all about the memories, right? Wrong! You should know how to say no and think about the repercussions of your actions and how those actions can impact you and others. You’re an adult, after all.

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