12 Things I’ve Learned From Having Been Involved In Group Sex

12 Things I’ve Learned From Having Been Involved In Group Sex ©istock/miljiko

I’ve always been in touch with my body, and I’m not ashamed to say so. One of the things I’m known for is my love of group sex, and since I’m pretty experienced in that sector, I’ve learned a lot about people, relationships, and love-making when it comes to multiple partners.

  1. There are some people who should never have a group encounter, period. Some people just can’t handle it emotionally — and that’s OK as long as they don’t try to force themselves into a three-way. When they do, the fallout almost always results in a breakup, emotional outbursts, and insecurities being fed.
  2. There are some couples who should never have a group encounter but could have them if they were both single. Jealousy is an issue, but most of the time, that isn’t the only reason why these couples shouldn’t include a third partner in their life. It’s because the partners can’t agree on important details, such as who the third person should be, limits, and aftercare. If you can’t agree on these things, you shouldn’t have a group encounter with a romantic partner.
  3. Speaking of, ground rules are seriously important. You need to talk about what’s OK, what isn’t OK, and what happens when lines are crossed with all parties involved. Otherwise, it’ll most likely get messy.
  4. Anyone who pressures you into a group encounter is a jerk (and definitely shouldn’t get one). When guys do this, they’re blatantly trying to push your boundaries or ignoring them outright. If they don’t care about your own comfort now, why would they care during a group encounter? If your significant other won’t drop the subject after you’ve said “no,” your best bet is to leave him. You deserve better than someone who would whine, wheedle, and manipulate his way into a threeway.
  5. If you’re insecure about your intimate life or your appeal, do not try to have a group encounter. Here’s the problem with insecurities and threesomes: this is one of the few intimate acts that can magnify your insecurities. If you’re trying to do it because you feel you need to prove you get laid a lot, you’re most likely going to alienate the two people you’re trying to sleep with by pressuring them too much. If you’re insecure about your relationship or your body, doing this will worsen it. Get confident before you attempt it.
  6. If you’re having a group encounter with your significant other, focus on your significant other. Unless you want to have problems, always focus most of your attention on your actual partner.
  7. Most of the time, having a group encounter with a close friend will cause in a breakup of a friendship or a relationship. Simply put, there’s just too much chance for people to get overly jealous in these situations. Unless your friends are into the “swinger” scene or the BDSM scene, chances are sky high that drama will ensue.
  8. Never use a group encounter to fix a relationship. I’ve never seen a relationship that actually was “fixed” by a group encounter, despite having been in a bunch of them.
  9. The best “thirds” are people who are mature about intimacy and have been in group encounters before. A partner who’s experienced knows how to handle some of the more awkward things that can arise during a romp, and they also tend to be more polite about the entire issue. If you’re dealing with a total newbie, it’s a bigger gamble as to whether you’ll have a good time.
  10. Some people need to be reminded that group sex aren’t supposed to be a way to get around cheating. Sadly, some people use threesomes as a vehicle to get with others that they were already chatting up behind their main partner’s back. THIS IS STILL CHEATING! If you get the feeling that there’s an ulterior motive going on, there probably is, and you should end things.
  11. Using protection is a must. Because no one wants to be given an invitation to Maury.
  12. All in all, group sex aren’t the big deal that they’re made out to be by society. It’s just making love with two people at the same time, and they’re actually pretty common. Are they worth the hassle most of the time? Usually not, but if it’s what you’re into, there’s no reason you shouldn’t enjoy it.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.