Who doesn’t like hearing someone say that they’re gorgeous? But no one said you have to be gorgeous in order to be a catch or make a great girlfriend. Hell no! That’s the biggest dating myth ever. Some women who get hit on the most and end up in happy relationships are those who aren’t that attractive in a textbook way. Here’s what makes them so hot:
- Having some physical quirks. Let’s be honest—perfection is boring AF, especially when you’ve been dating someone for a while, you know they’re gorgeous, and now you want something more than just looks to keep you interested. You want something that sets the person apart from the crowd and makes them unique, and it’s the same for men. Think actress Kate Bostworth’s eyes that are different colors or model Georgia May Jagger’s gap-toothed smile. Your quirks make you attractive!
- Being unapologetically honest. You can be the most gorgeous woman in the room but if you’re a liar, no one’s going to want to be around you no matter how charming you are. There’s nothing attractive about dishonesty, no matter how long your eyelashes are or how toned your abs look in all your Instagram selfies. Fact!
- Being confident but stopping short of cockiness. It sounds trite, but confidence can make or break you. If you’re the most physically attractive woman in the room but you’re walking around like you’re nothing special, what are people going to believe? More than what they see in front of them, they’re going to believe what you think about yourself. Believe you’re beautiful and worthy and you will be.
- Having a passion for life. When you have things you’re passionate about and you talk about them to people, your eyes light up and your face glows. You look energized and interesting. That’s what makes you genuinely beautiful! If you don’t have anything in your life that makes you feel alive, you’ll be boring and bore the hell out of other people.
- Having a killer work ethic in every way. If you’re too hot to handle and you know it, it might’ve gone to your head and made you stop working to keep relationships going. That means you’ll be expecting other people to do all the elbow work. Ugh, that really doesn’t make you an attractive partner. If you don’t expect to be put on a pedestal and you aren’t afraid to get your hands dirty, it shows people that you’re worth the chase.
- Being able to laugh at yourself and your life. There’s nothing sexy about someone who never laughs. If you can make jokes, laugh at others’ jokes, and more importantly laugh at yourself, guys will love being with you. That’s why laugh lines are so hot—they show people that they’re guaranteed to have a great time in your company.
- Leading a full, fabulous life. What matters more than being gorgeous is having a life that makes you happy. If you can make yourself happy, you’re seen as independent, strong, and complete—qualities that are really attractive.
- Kindness. A study of people in 37 cultures found that the most important quality people look for in a partner is kindness. Just think of your own preferences: would you want a Ryan Gosling lookalike who treats people and you like crap or a guy who’s not as hot but has a heart of gold? Obviously the latter, because it makes him more attractive.
- Looking after your health. They say “health is wealth” but being healthy is also hot. The reason is that when you look healthy—your teeth are pearly-white, your skin glows, your hair is shiny—you look like you take good care of yourself. You have pride in who you are and make your health a priority, which is appealing. So really, it’s not about your looks but how you take care of yourself.
- Practicing unwavering loyalty. Interestingly, a study published in the British Journal of Psychology found that when it comes to making long-term relationship choices, men prefer less attractive women. This is partly down to how previous research has found attractive people are more likely to be unfaithful. And, if you’re not relying on your good looks to keep men interested, you’ll be focusing on your inner beauty, which stands the test of time.
- Embracing spontaneity. If you’re hot and pride yourself on how perfect you always look, you’ll become annoying AF. When your partner wants to run through the rainstorm, you’ll worry about getting your hair wet or your stilettos scuffed. When your partner wants to tuck into some delicious chocolate cake, you’ll say that you have to starve yourself to be a size zero. Ugh. If you’re fun and you live a little, you’re so much sexier.
- Being able to carry on an intelligent conversation. If you can’t engage in interesting conversation that stimulates people’s minds and makes you learn new things, then you’ve got nothing. Good conversation forms the basis of connection between people, when it comes to friendships and relationships. It also makes you much more intriguing than someone who looks amazing but then opens their mouth and doesn’t have much to say or is boring. No one wants to sit around talking about the weather all night long, FFS!