If You Do These 12 Things, We’re Not Happening

There’s nothing worse than meeting a guy that I actually like and then realizing that he’s all wrong for me. I’m not always great at figuring out who’s good and bad for me right off the bat, but I’m smart enough to know that if you do any of these things, I won’t be able to deal with you:

  1. Take forever to text me back It’s the 21st century, and everyone and their mom has a phone. There is literally no reason that you wouldn’t be able to take two seconds out of your supposedly busy day and message me. End of story.
  2. Refuse to make an actual plan I’m not going to be a virtual girlfriend. If you find it difficult to pick a time and a place and make a plan, then why would I even think about dating you?
  3. Cancel several times in a row When a guy cancels on me, it’s hard to trust him because I have no idea if he’s just being a flake or if he really had a legit excuse. If you reschedule, then sure, I believe you. If you reschedule a bunch of times, then don’t expect anything to happen between us.
  4. Keep your feelings close to your chest I’m not expecting cheesy sonnets or bouquets of red roses on a regular basis. I just want you to be able to tell me that you like me when you do. It’s actually pretty simple, and if you can’t do that much, we have no hope for a future together.
  5. Have zero ambition I’m not attracted to guys who don’t care if they ever work again or who truly have no goals in life. That’s pretty much the exact opposite of my personality, and opposites definitely don’t attract when it comes to career ambition.
  6. Constantly tell me I’m wrong I don’t think that I’m perfect or even right 100 percent of the time, but I do want a bit of respect. If you say that my feelings and options are wrong and are always trying to tell me what I should be thinking and feeling, that’s bad news.
  7. Believe in relationship stereotypes If you think that a girlfriend is someone who is clingy, annoying, and basically the worst person ever, then we’re totally done. I can’t be with a guy who thinks like a caveman and acts like one, too. It’s sexist and totally ridiculous.
  8. Start fights for no reason Sure, some amount of intellectual debate is kind of hot, but if you’re one of those guys who is super argumentative just for the sake of it, I’m out. I can’t be bothered to make every innocent conversation a sparring match.
  9. Keep secrets If we’re going to be a thing, you have to tell me things about yourself. That’s kind of the way that it goes. If you keep secrets big or small, that’s not a good sign for our connection. It can’t be a one-sided relationship where I tell you everything and you smile and nod, but tell me absolutely nothing in return.
  10. Get scared of commitment It’s somewhat normal to be afraid of being vulnerable in a new relationship and finally opening up to someone. What’s not normal is freaking out so much that you lose out on finding love. If you’re terrified of commitment and can’t see that I’m worth being with, we’re going to have a pretty big problem.
  11. Go back on your word It’s really unattractive to promise to do something and then act like you have no idea why I would have expected that. If something was your idea, then you need to follow up and do the right thing. It’s really not that difficult, but if you think it is, then we’re not meant to be.
  12. Treat everything like one big joke I’m into funny guys… until they find it absolutely impossible to be serious for even a single second. If you make everything into a joke, including me and my feelings for you, I’m not going to want to date you anymore. Plain and simple.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.