12 Things Single People Are Tired Of Seeing On Social Media

12 Things Single People Are Tired Of Seeing On Social Media ©iStock/svetikd

Scrolling through Facebook and Instagram can be annoying as crap when you’re single. Aside from the barrage of current events and funny viral videos, there are certain posts that make those of us rolling solo actually cringe. It’s not that we’re bitter, it’s just that sometimes it’s excessive.

  1. Excessive baby photos. I get it — babies are soooo cute. But do we really need to see a picture of the same baby six times a day, in every single scenario of his or her life? Save the upload of your daily camera reel for the scrapbook, please. I promise I’ll look through it when I come over for a visit.
  2. Long proclamations of lovey dovey stuff. It’s one thing when it’s an anniversary, a very special date, or an engagement/baby announcement — those are great — but a random Tuesday rant about how you love your amazing, most perfect, adorable, handsome pants, love of your life, best friend, forever boyfriend whom you just don’t know what you’d do without is annoying as hell when it’s done excessively. Stop it.
  3. Suggested posts for dating apps. Yes, I know I’m single as hell. No, I don’t want to join the Coffee Meets Bagel dating community. Please make it stop.
  4. Jokes about single cat ladies from people who aren’t even single and don’t have a cat. You know the ones, the one’s that say crap like, “If you can’t get a man to love you, don’t force an innocent animal to.” These are just plain rude. Single cat lady jokes should be on reserve for single cat ladies. End of story.
  5. Poke notifications from random men. Who are you? Why are you poking me? Go away.
  6. Constant relationship status changes from the same person. One minute she’s in a relationship, the next she’s posting sad quotes, then she’s engaged and suddenly in a new relationship. Um, maybe you should go on time-out until you get reacquainted with yourself, sweetie. Or perhaps, just leave your relationship status off social media. Just a suggestion. Hang in there!
  7. Statuses directed to live-in spouses. Can’t you people just talk to each other across the room? Why does Facebook need to know every time you remember you love your boyfriend? Have you heard of text messaging?
  8. Anniversary countdowns. Counting down to your wedding is one thing but there’s really no need to start a four month countdown to your anniversary every single year. It’s not Christmas day, we’re not 8 years old waiting for Santa’s arrival, it’s a private celebration for you and your spouse. No one really cares.
  9. Photos of couples in bed. Nothing screams “we just had sex and are going to make all of you feel super awkward by posting this picture of us clearly hiding our naked bodies with this sheet carefully tucked under our armpits” like the photo of the couple in bed with the hashtag #goodmorning followed by some obligatory, “I’m so lucky to wake up to this everyday!” nonsense that no one really cares about.
  10. Hacked status updates. “I just took a giant poop and it smelled great” was funny in, like, 2007 when Facebook launched, but now it’s a clear “my boyfriend got a hold of my phone and thinks he’s hilarious” post that everyone just thinks is juvenile. Oh, and then there’s the obligatory spouse commenting back on the same status routine.
  11. Excessive kissing selfies. Sometimes it’s cute, like when you embrace each other after just getting engaged, but most of the time it’s just annoying. It’s not really shocking that couples kiss, but thanks for the reminder.
  12. #Bae, Boo, Pookey Bear, etc. Pet names are cute in private, but blasted all over social media on every single post of the couple in bed, in lovey dovey statuses and on every single selfie is overkill. Sometimes, you need to tone it all down a notch.