12 Things Strong, Badass Women Chase Instead Of Guys

Sure, having a guy around can be awesome in a lot of ways, but if we’re honest, we can also see that dudes and the drama that often comes with trying to navigate relationships with them can be a pain in the butt. This is something strong, badass women know and why we prefer to chase other, better things than guys.

  1. We chase our dream careers. Dream careers exist and yes, if you go after them with total fervor, you can absolute land it. Case in point: Me. I’m sitting here, in my underwear, writing and getting paid for it. And it’s not a hobby or something I do on the side to make extra cash; I do this full time and I do it from anywhere in the world that I choose. I was in Paris last month, I’m in Barcelona today, and who the hell knows where I’ll be in two weeks. Oh, wait, I do know: Rome.
  2. We chase being fulfilled. Fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Some people are fulfilled by spending a weekend binge-watching Netflix while other people are fulfilled by hiking Mount Kilimanjaro. But no matter what it takes to fulfill a strong, badass woman, it’s in that direction she goes, not stopping until she has it.
  3. We chase healthy relationships. Whether it’s the relationships we have with our friends, family, or even that occasional hook-up, we chase relationships that don’t give us any crap and make us feel good about ourselves. While no one’s self-worth should ever be steeped in what others think of them, it does help to have healthy relationships with a network that’s extremely supportive, reminding us how awesome we are.
  4. We chase challenges. Nothing says success like giving yourself a challenging goal then finding yourself on the other side of it, having conquered it. I mean, talk about feeling fulfilled. As strong, badass women, we stare down any challenge and gladly accept it. Even if we know it’s going to be quite a feat and maybe even hurt like hell, we know that life is about obstacles, tackling them and being better for it.
  5. We chase feeling secure in our solitude. It takes a certain level of person to be able to be completely alone and secure in it. I’m not just talking about alone, as in being single, but alone with yourself and your thoughts only. In order to get to such a state where the sound of your own breath is all you hear and it doesn’t scare you, takes a lot of strength, practice, and realization that people sometimes need to be solitary and, when they are, they need to be comfortable with it.
  6. We chase learning from our mistakes. As the saying goes, those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it — I mean, just look at our political situation. My point is that while some women run around chasing guys, we chase learning from our screw-ups. Human beings are not without their screw-ups, and in order to truly thrive, you have to learn from where you went wrong in the first place.
  7. We chase new experiences. Well, I don’t think I need to get on my soapbox about how important and fundamental new experiences are to life, so I’ll just leave it at this: strong, badass women would much rather chase a new experience that’s forever going to change their life, than some guy, or any guy for that matter.
  8. We chase keeping our health in check. When you’re this badass, you know that one of the best ways to stay as such is to take care of our physical health and, especially, our mental health. One can’t go out there and conquer the world with a bad back or while on the brink of a panic attack. Because of this, we do what it takes to keep our body and mind feeling good and thinking positively. We realize that no body isn’t without its physical flaws and no brain isn’t without its own brand of “crazy” (a word I’m using very lovingly here to make a point), so we chase keeping ourselves as healthy as possible, while understanding that we’ll still have days where we feel like crap and that’s totally OK!
  9. We chase learning to function on our own. This isn’t about being single or being comfortable in being alone, but being able to truly function solo. It means not having to be told you need to pay your bills on time, realizing that you need to change your bed sheets once a week, and finally figuring out what a ballcock is in a toilet and how to fix it, all while still laughing at the fact it’s called a ballcock, of course. You know, adulting it.
  10. We chase surprising ourselves. Life should always be full of surprises. Well, not constant surprises, because then you cease being surprised. But being able to surprise yourself from time to time, by either accomplishing something you set your mind to or overcoming something you thought would plague you forever, can be surprising and motivating. Every time we surprise ourselves, we inspire ourselves to see what else we can hit out of the ballpark.
  11. We chase righting wrongs. If there’s anything to be learned since Election Day 2016, strong, badass women chase justice. We chase standing up for our rights, gender equality, making our voices heard, and doing so with gusto, passion, and severe, deep-rooted determination and conviction. We’re not the type to take things lying down. We also chase for those who don’t have a voice.
  12. We chase accepting ourselves. In a society where women are constantly shamed for, well, everything, we chase accepting ourselves. Even for us badass women, it’s not exactly easy, but we know that once we’ve accepted every ounce of who we are and all the weird things about us that make us unique, we can do anything—something you definitely can’t get from chasing a guy.
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.