12 Things You Might Think Make You More Attractive To Guys But Don’t

“Sexy” — who even knows what that means anymore? I don’t think I do. Crop tops, push-up bras, red lipstick, stilettos… are these things even really attractive, or have we just decided they are because the media said so? While everyone’s romantic and sexual preferences differ, a lot of what we think makes us hot in guys’ eyes really only makes us look a bit ridiculous. Here are 12 things you probably think will make guys want you, when in reality they either don’t notice or aren’t into them at all:

  1. Perfume. We know that smelling nice can trigger desirable responses in men, but you can definitely have too much of a good thing. Have you ever been trapped in an elevator with a woman with too much perfume on? It’s suffocating and definitely not sexy. Go easy on the personal fragrances.
  2. Pristine makeup. We all know this one, but with makeup artists all over YouTube and Instagram advising us to “bake” this and “contour” that, it can get really hard to decide where the line is from sexy to circus clown. Old school rules apply here: if you play up your lips, don’t overdo your eyes, and vice versa. Bozo is not sexy.
  3. Skimpy clothing. Crop tops and daisy dukes have their place, and if you’re confident in your body enough to rock these looks, then go for it. However, sometimes these things aren’t appropriate and can verge on trashy. Save the near-nudity for the beach or the bedroom and not the movie theater or the grocery store.
  4. Playing dumb. We all know it, and yet we still do it. By pretending you don’t know or can’t do something you’re hoping to attract him and make him think you need him. Although its an adorable little tactic to use when you’re 14, it is not cute when you are a grown ass woman. Knowledge and independence are sexy, so rock them instead.
  5. Asserting your independence. Being strong and self-sufficient is almost always sexy, but this one can be overdone. Every man should appreciate that you bought your car and pay your bills, but constantly playing the independent woman card can make him feel emasculated and like you don’t need him at all. Your vibrator might be good, but it isn’t a real, live man, so don’t get so independent that it’s just you and your rabbit every night.
  6. Pretending to like what he likes. Dressing in underwear with his favorite sports team’s logo on it is probably a real turn on for him, but pretending to like the sport when you’re not really enjoying yourself isn’t. You don’t have to like what he likes for him to find you sexy, but the NY Jets underwear couldn’t hurt.
  7. Flirting. A little flirting is fun and sexy, but if you lay it on too thick, it gets cheesy and annoying. Batting your eyelashes makes you look like you have dust in your eyes, not like you’re trying to seduce him.
  8. Paying half the bill every time. Kind of like independence, paying can be attractive, but can also cross lines if you’re pushy. Wanting to go dutch all of the time is admirable, but sometimes guys find it just as sexy when we let them take care of us even though we don’t need them to. Its, like, built into their biology or something. So next time he goes to pay, thank him and offer to treat him next time.
  9. Getting ridiculously drunk. As with most things, moderation is the best choice. You may think you look really sexy sipping a glass of wine, but it won’t be sexy if you’re throwing it up on his shoes later. Guys can appreciate a girl who can handle her alcohol, but that requires handling it and not letting it handle you.
  10. Twerking. Unless you’re trying to attract a 19-year-old boy (and maybe you are), twerking is not sexy. Sure, it can be a lot of fun to work it out on the dance floor with the girls, but please don’t for one second think you look sexy doing this. You just don’t, I’m sorry.
  11. Always wanting sex. No one always wants sex. There are times we just don’t want it and even though we think guys are constantly horny, sometimes they don’t want it, either. If you’re constantly trying to have sex with him and he doesn’t seem into it, you could be overplaying it. Making him miss it a little is much sexier than being desperate.
  12. Hooking up with a girl in front of him. Some guys are probably totally into this. If you’re just having a fun, casual hook-up, this is probably fine and might be sexy. If you’re in a more serious relationship or even hanging out with a guy who’s a bit more subdued, this might look like an absolute mess — especially if done in public. If you’re into threesomes or orgies or whatever, that’s fine. Just be sure he is, too, so this comes off as sexy as you want it to.
C. is an aspiring yogi and Ph.D student who loves her dogs, bright lipstick and to travel. Find her on IG @drparko121314