Someone once said that the root of all disappointment is expectation. While that sentiment may technically be true, it’s kind of horrible to tell someone that being let down is somehow their fault. This is especially true in a relationship. There are certain things that a relationship can’t do for people, such as make them love themselves or keep them happy all the time. However, there are some things you should be able to expect from a happy, healthy relationship.
Whether you’re having a mental breakdown from the latest episode of Grey’s Anatomy or thinking about changing careers, your partner should support you. They may not agree or even understand why you do certain things, but they should be there for you regardless. In the case of a big life change, even if they don’t get it or would never do it themselves, they should trust you and your judgment enough to be by your side while you go for gold.
Couples should always be able to be silly together. That’s not a good addition to a relationship—that’s a key element in lasting happiness. You should be able to expect a level of ease and humor from your partner. Laughing together will help strengthen your relationship, after all, and being able to have a side-splitting, tear-inducing chuckle with the one you love isn’t a plus—it’s a must.
This is a non-negotiable when it comes to a relationship. If your partner can’t be vulnerable with you, then you’re going to be let down time and time again. Expecting intimacy from a relationship is entirely warranted and you should never settle for less in this department.
Does your partner spend thousands of dollars without talking to you first? Or maybe they book a week away without you and fail to mention it until the weekend before. These behaviors are not part of a good relationship. Your partner should always consider you when making big decisions or plans.
Nobody can read minds and when it comes to your relationship. You should expect that your partner is open and honest with you about everything. Relationships aren’t supposed to be guessing games and your partner should always tell you about all the things going on with them.
Aretha Franklin said it best but I’ll say it again. Respect is almost everything. When your partner doesn’t respect you, they won’t be able to provide any other of the important aspects a relationship needs to survive. Respect comes in many forms, but it’s usually the main driver of how your partner treats you in all other aspects of the relationship.
Depending on who you and your partner are, this could be a little bit of affection or a lot. Everyone has different love styles, but expecting affection isn’t a disaster waiting to happen. The expectation is warranted and all relationships should have some form of physical intimacy that isn’t just sex.
You and your partner need to make time to spend quality time together. It’s not an extra in your relationship. It’s something that, in the beginning, brought the two of you together. If you keep expecting your partner to show some initiative and plan a date and they keep letting you down, it might be time to reevaluate things a little bit.
For monogamous relationships, freedom has nothing to do with sex but rather the freedom to be yourself, to do the things that make you feel alive, and to stick to your values. Expecting this is not over the top. It’s completely required.
This is a no-brainer. Love is not an unreachable expectation and it is one of the most important ways to tell whether or not your relationship is the real deal or not. Being able to expect love from your literal lover is a requirement.
No one should admire you quite like your partner (except maybe your mom!). Your partner should look at you like you make the sunrise every morning, even when they’re terribly mad at you for watching a few episodes of your current binge without them. Wanting your partner to love you more than anyone else does isn’t unrealistic.
The last slice of pizza
Or at least the option for the last slice of pizza. The basic point here is selflessness. Sure, everyone can be selfish, but every now and again you should definitely be able to expect your partner to put you first.
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