12 Times You Can’t Save Your Relationship, So Don’t Waste Your Time

You have the best intentions to make it work with your partner, but what if it’s time to walk away instead of keep working so hard on your relationship? Here are 12 times when saving yourself is more important than saving what you once had.

  1. You can’t talk without fighting. If you can’t even have a discussion with your partner without getting into an argument, what hope is there of working on a more stable future?
  2. You’re always on guard. Do you walk around on eggshells because you don’t know what will set off your partner and make him lose his cool? Do you worry about saying the wrong thing because it will lead to a fight? If you’re trying to avoid stressful situations in your relationship, that could also point to being done with it. Why would you even want to save it?
  3. Your feelings are ignored. It’s not just your thoughts that matter but your feelings too. When you express that your partner’s actions made you feel depressed or angry, do they acknowledge it or write it off as you being silly? If it’s the latter, that’s a huge sign that you shouldn’t be with this person.
  4. You’re not your usual self. If you’ve changed since being with your partner and it’s not for the better, that’s really something to look at. For example, if you’re much angrier and more irritable than you used to be, clearly your relationship’s bringing out the worst in you.
  5. You’re fighting alone. You might want to save your relationship, but does your partner want the same thing? If you’re the only one who’s trying to work through your relationship issues, then you have your answer right there: it’s time to walk away. Yes, you’ll be doing that alone too, but you’ll be saving yourself!
  6. You’ve tried many things. Maybe your partner has been keen to work on things, but sadly it’s the case that no matter what you do to fix the relationship, nothing seems to work. If you’ve even tried couples counselling and that didn’t help, then you know you have to stop investing your time and energy into a dead relationship.
  7. You can’t get over their betrayal. Maybe you’re battling to trust your partner because they betrayed you, such as because they cheated on you. The thing to remember is that when the trust in your relationship is gone, you don’t even have a relationship anymore. It’s done.
  8. You never feel heard. If you feel like your partner doesn’t listen to your thoughts and opinions, it’s only a matter of time before you start to feel invisible in the relationship. How are you supposed to get your relationship back on track if you can’t even get your words understood? Ugh.
  9. You’re not feeling the love. No matter what issues you and your partner are dealing with, you should always feel that they love you. Saying those three words isn’t enough – you must feel loved by them. Your partner should be caring and affectionate towards you. If it’s cold in your relationship, that’s no way to live. You should never feel like you have to earn someone’s love, either.
  10. You have more cons than pros. Take out a sheet of paper and separate it into two columns: pros and cons of staying in your relationship. If there are more cons than pros, then that should tell you something. Although relationships can’t be sunshine and roses all the time, they also shouldn’t be a black cloud all the time. Most of the time, you should feel good about the relationship and your future together.
  11. You’re waiting on them to change. Maybe you’re living for a future time when your partner will be better towards you and you’ll be able to have a happier, healthier relationship. One word: yikes. You’re in relationship purgatory but make sure you don’t waste too much time there because it will be soul-crushing. What’s your relationship like now? That’s what matters because it creates your future.
  12. You’ve been the victim of abuse. It doesn’t matter what kind of abuse it was, if you’ve experienced it from your partner then you need to get out right now because it will happen again and will probably get worse. This is not the relationship you deserve to be in, ever. You’re not getting love from your partner, but show yourself some love by walking away.



Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.