Yes, kids are cute and can change your life for the better, but what about all the ways they could be wrong for you and your lifestyle? It’s possible they could turn your life around in a bad way.
Say goodbye to your dreams. What’s that flying in the sky, out of reach forever? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s your dreams. Sorry, but when a kid comes along, it makes itself a priority that pushes everything else aside. If you’re not completely ready to make this commitment, you may end up resenting your kid, and that’s never a good thing.
Your freedom will go on holiday for years. You’re going to be raising your kid for at least the next 18 or so years until he/she will be able to exercise more independence. That means until then, you’ll be locked down to parenthood. You might have some time to yourself, thanks to babysitters who bail you out of your responsibilities for a few hours a week, but you won’t have that fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants freedom you’re accustomed to.
You might realize you’re not into it when it’s too late. You might think you want kids, but how do you know until the bundle of joy arrives? You might realize that motherhood actually isn’t for you, which sucks because there’s no way you can refund it like a pair of shoes.
You’ll feel eco-warrior guilt. If you’ve spent so much time trying to be an eco-minded person who cares for the planet, bringing a child into the world will fill you with green guilt. Children are bad for the planet, period. They contribute to global warming which can be reduced by limiting the amount of people on the planet. Woops.
You’ll probably lose yourself. You might insist to your family and friends that becoming a mother won’t make you lose yourself, but come on. How is that possible? You’re going to have to make loads of sacrifices for your kids, you probably won’t have much time to do what you love or even apply mascara in the mornings. Your life will never be the same again and unless you’re really okay with that, it could be a nightmare.
You’ll get a rude awakening if you’re doing it for your relationship. If you’re one of the people out there who wants to save her relationship by having kids, don’t kid yourself. A child won’t be able to fix all the drama and issues going on between you and your partner. In fact, it will just highlight them even more.
You’ll never sleep again. It doesn’t seem like a biggie to realize you’re going to lose a lot of sleep thanks to motherhood, but just think how much a lack of sleep affects you. Without it, your cortisol or “stress hormone” shoots up, your skin looks tired and old, and you increase your risk of chronic health problems, such as heart disease and high blood pressure.
You’ll be worried all the time. Your kids will bring loads of worry and stress your way, and not just when they’re small and you worry they’ll fall off their bicycles. You’re going to be taking on their problems and stressing about them all through their lives. It’s a massive undertaking that isn’t easy if you’re naturally a stress ball.
You won’t be able to enjoy the simple pleasures. Children will bring pleasure to your life, but what about all the pleasure they’ll take away? Can you really deal with not being able to travel whenever you want, not spend money on yourself (because kids are so expensive), not sleep in on a Sunday, and not be able to eat out at a restaurant without your kid throwing a temper tantrum and ruining the whole experience?
You might not be cut out for motherhood. It’s good to know this way before you have kids because contrary to those romantic comedies, you’re not guaranteed to have a change of heart the minute you set eyes on your blubbering baby. You might actually never snap out of the feeling that you aren’t 100 percent into the idea of having a child, which not only screws up your life but your child’s one, too. It’s unfair.
Your sex life will disappear. It’s not just because you won’t feel like having sex or be able to squeeze in time for it. It’s also because a baby will affect your partner. A study from the University of Notre Dame found that during the first year of fatherhood, men experience lower testosterone levels. This also makes them have less sex. Why does this happen? It’s the body’s way of reorganizing its priorities, making the most important thing looking after a newborn. Bye-bye, sex. Nice knowing you.
You might end up empty in spite of your hopes. Perhaps you think that having children will make you feel your life has meaning but depending on other people, even your offspring, is never the right way to get a purpose or fall in love with your life. If that’s why you’re keen to have kids, then you seriously need to find something else to give your life meaning. Children will enhance the happiness you already have inside of you, but it’s unfair to expect them to create it.