Dating has completely transformed in the last two decades. What used to be a fairly simple process—meeting someone, going on dates, and seeing where it led—has now turned into a confusing game of ghosting, situationships, and endless swiping. Social media, dating apps, and changing social norms have created trends that would have been unimaginable 20 years ago. Here are some of the strangest modern dating behaviors that would have left people baffled back then.
1. Ghosting Instead Of Breaking Up Like An Adult
Two decades ago, if you wanted to break things off with someone, you had to actually tell them. Whether it was an awkward phone call, a face-to-face conversation, or even a breakup letter, there was at least some level of accountability. Now? People just disappear. One day you’re texting back and forth like normal, and the next, they’re gone—no explanation, no goodbye. Psychology Today reports that ghosting can have severe psychological impacts, including feelings of rejection, lowered self-esteem, and even symptoms of depression.
What makes ghosting even worse is that it’s so normalized that many don’t even see it as wrong. Instead of facing an uncomfortable conversation, people take the easy way out and vanish, leaving their ex to piece together what went wrong. The emotional impact of being ghosted is often worse than a breakup itself, making modern dating feel even more impersonal and disposable.
2. Getting Into “Situationships” Because You’re Afraid Of Commitment
Back in the day, you were either dating or you weren’t. Now, we have “situationships”—the gray area where two people act like a couple but refuse to define the relationship. It’s the perfect setup for those who want all the perks of a relationship without any of the responsibility. Research from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships suggests that ambiguous relationships, or “situationships,” can lead to increased anxiety and lower relationship satisfaction.
The problem with situationships is that they often leave at least one person feeling confused and emotionally drained. There are no clear expectations, so when one person wants more, they’re often met with excuses or avoidance. This uncertainty makes dating more frustrating than ever, leading many to question whether it’s even worth trying. What used to be a straightforward process of courtship has now become a never-ending cycle of mixed signals and emotional limbo.
3. “Benching” Potential Romantic Options
Imagine being interested in someone but keeping them on the sidelines just in case someone better comes along. That’s benching. It’s the dating equivalent of putting someone on a waiting list while you explore your other options. They’re kept around with the occasional text or half-hearted invitation, but they’re never actually prioritized. As reported by Business Insider, a survey conducted by dating app Plenty of Fish revealed that 80% of millennials have experienced “benching” in their dating lives.
Two decades ago, if you liked someone, you pursued them. Now, with dating apps providing an endless supply of potential matches, many people hesitate to commit, always wondering if there’s someone “better” out there. This leads to a culture where people are afraid to fully invest in a relationship, constantly keeping backup options in rotation. The result? A dating landscape filled with uncertainty, insecurity, and a lack of genuine connection.
4. Getting Dating Advice From TikTok
Back then, people got relationship advice from friends, magazines, or maybe even a therapist. Today? TikTok influencers and self-proclaimed dating coaches are the new love gurus. Whether it’s learning how to “win” at dating, decode text messages, or apply some obscure psychological trick to make someone fall for you, people are turning to social media for guidance. The New York Times examines the phenomenon of TikTok dating advice and its potential pitfalls, discussing how social media influencers are shaping dating behaviors and expectations.
While some advice is helpful, much of it is based on personal opinions rather than actual relationship expertise. Trends like “playing hard to get” or “mirroring” someone’s texting habits can make dating feel like a strategic game instead of an organic process. Rather than fostering healthy relationships, social media has fueled a mindset of manipulation and unrealistic expectations, making dating even more complicated.
5. Getting Swipe Fatigue From Hinge And Tinder
Online dating used to mean carefully crafting a profile on Match.com and hoping someone would send a message. Now, it’s endless swiping on apps like Tinder and Hinge, leading to something called “swipe fatigue.” With so many choices, people get overwhelmed, exhausted, and eventually disinterested.
Instead of feeling excited about meeting new people, dating starts to feel like a chore. The paradox of choice kicks in, and suddenly, nobody feels good enough because there’s always the possibility of finding someone better with just one more swipe. This cycle leaves people burnt out, making them less willing to invest in meaningful connections and more likely to give up on dating altogether.
6. Having Long-Term Relationships With Someone You’ve Never Met
Twenty years ago, the idea of meeting your future partner online was rare—and honestly, kind of frowned upon. Now, it’s completely normal. In fact, many couples today met through apps, social media, or even gaming communities.
What was once considered a last resort for people who “couldn’t meet someone in real life” is now one of the most common ways relationships begin. The stigma has disappeared, and online dating has officially become the new normal. While it has made finding love more accessible, it has also changed how people approach relationships, making commitment feel more disposable.
7. Zombieing AKA Returning From The Dead After Ghosting
Ghosting is bad enough, but zombieing takes it to another level. This is when someone who disappeared suddenly comes back into your life as if nothing ever happened. No explanation, no apology—just a casual “Hey, how have you been?” like they didn’t leave you wondering what went wrong for weeks or months.
Two decades ago, if someone stopped calling, that was the end of it. Now, social media and instant messaging allow people to resurface whenever they feel like it. The worst part? Many people accept the return of a “zombie” because dating options feel limited. Instead of addressing the issue, these reappearing ghosts often slide back in without ever acknowledging their disappearance, creating a toxic cycle of coming and going.
8. Liking Someone’s Instagram Story As A Way Of Flirting
Flirting used to involve actual conversations, eye contact, and body language. Now, it’s as simple as liking someone’s Instagram story. Instead of sending a message, people just drop a like and hope the other person gets the hint. It’s a passive, low-effort way of showing interest without actually putting yourself out there.
While it might seem harmless, this kind of non-verbal flirting creates even more ambiguity in dating. Does a story like mean they’re interested, or are they just being friendly? Should you respond or wait for something more direct? This game of subtle signals makes dating more confusing than ever, leaving many people wondering if they should make the first move or if they’re reading too much into things.
9. Breadcrumbing To Keep Someone Hooked Without Committing
Breadcrumbing is when someone gives you just enough attention to keep you interested but never enough to actually move things forward. It’s the modern dating equivalent of feeding a stray cat—you keep dropping little bits of affection so they stay nearby, but you never let them inside. A flirty text here, a “like” on your post there, and just enough engagement to make you think something might happen—except it never does.
It’s not outright rejection, but it’s not real interest either. The person doing the breadcrumbing isn’t looking for commitment, but they enjoy knowing they have someone on the hook. It’s frustrating, confusing, and a waste of time, but somehow, it keeps happening. In the past, if someone wasn’t interested, they just… stopped calling. Now, they’ll throw you a “Hey, stranger” text every few weeks just to keep you in their orbit without ever truly stepping into your life.
10. “Orbiting” AKA Watching All Your Stories But Never Actually Texting You Back
Orbiting is one of the most frustrating dating trends of the modern era. It’s when someone refuses to engage with you directly but still lurks in the background of your social media life. They won’t respond to your texts, but they’ll watch every single Instagram story the second you post it. It’s like they want to keep tabs on you without actually being involved.
Back in the day, if someone stopped talking to you, they were just gone. There was no way to quietly observe their life unless you were willing to drive past their house like a full-blown stalker. Now, orbiting is as easy as scrolling. It’s a weird mix of passive interest and total avoidance, and yet, people do it constantly.
11. Soft Launching Your New Relationship With Vague Social Media Posts
There was a time when people either announced they were dating or kept it private—there was no in-between. Now, we have the “soft launch,” where people hint at a new relationship without fully revealing it. Maybe it’s a photo of two dinner plates, a blurry hand in the background, or a mysterious caption like “good company.” It’s just enough to make people wonder, but not enough to confirm anything.
Soft launching is basically a trial run for going public. If things don’t work out, you never have to explain anything because technically, you never announced it in the first place. It’s a clever way to avoid messy breakups on social media, but twenty years ago, people would’ve just called it what it is—being weirdly secretive.
12. Being “Delulu” And Convincing Yourself There’s Something There When There Isn’t
“Delulu” is short for “delusional,” and in modern dating, it’s practically a rite of passage. It’s when you convince yourself someone is interested in you based on the absolute bare minimum. They liked your tweet? Clearly, they’re in love. They texted you “lol”? Obviously, they’re thinking about marriage. It’s all about finding meaning where there is none.
People have always overanalyzed crushes, but social media has made it worse. Every little interaction feels significant when, in reality, it probably means nothing. Twenty years ago, if you liked someone, you actually had to talk to them to figure out where you stood. Now, people will spend months overanalyzing emojis and response times instead.
13. “Slow Fading” Instead Of Being Upfront
Slow fading is ghosting’s sneakier cousin. Instead of disappearing all at once, the person just gradually withdraws. Texts get less frequent, responses get shorter, and eventually, they just stop putting in any effort at all. It’s a way of breaking up without actually breaking up—just letting the connection die a slow, painful death.
It’s the ultimate move for people who hate confrontation. Rather than having a conversation, they just let things fizzle until the other person gets the hint. Twenty years ago, this would’ve been considered immature at best and downright cruel at worst. Now? It’s just another way to avoid responsibility.
