These 13 “Firsts” Are More Important Than The First Time You Have Sex With Someone

Yes, sleeping with someone for the first time is an intimate and amazing experience (hopefully). However, there are important romantic and emotional milestones that often mean more than having sex. Here are 13 worth checking off your list when you start dating someone new.

1. The first time you sleep next to each other There’s sex and then there’s sleeping next to each other in bed when nothing happens. While you might worry it’s a bad sign like that they’re only interested in you as a friend, the truth is that sleeping next to each other without actually doing anything can be one of the most intimate things ever.
2. The first time your partner opens up He’s not just going to open up about his dreams and fears to anyone. If he can do that with you, it’s a huge step in your relationship.
3. The first time you see their flaws They can’t be perfect all the time, but if you’re allowed to see their flaws, like how they lose their temper or can’t do math to save their life, that means they trust you with everything they are, not just the perfect stuff.
4. The first time you can cry in front of them It’s never easy to let someone you really care about see your weaknesses, so crying in front of your partner is a big deal. If they can deal with your tears without leaving the room awkwardly or telling you to smile, then you’ve got a keeper.
5. The first time you kiss What’s more delicious than kissing? Honestly, a great kiss can feel more intimate than having sex with someone. It might also give you more fireworks. Plus, you never forget your first kiss with someone and that delicious anticipation that precedes it.
6. The first time they give you “that look” in public You know the look when you see it. It’s when they’re looking at you with so much love and their eyes are glowing as they look at you. It’s that electrically-charged look that’s full of lust but something much more than that. It’s the delicious look that thrills you from your scalp to your toes.
7. The first time you have a fight and make up Your first fight with your partner is a huge milestone. It’s a sign that things are real but also it’s an opportunity to grow even stronger as a couple. When you make up after a fight, it means you’ve hit the next level and it’s also a great sign that you can deal with your problems without them tanking you.
8. The first time you have a Netflix marathon together It might sound silly, but the first time you can chill with your partner and enjoy your favorite Netflix shows is a bonding experience. Just think: you’re comfortable enough with each other to lie on the sofa, you’re getting to share in something you both enjoy, and you’re not at that stage where you want to rip each other’s clothes off every five seconds. You’re reaching a level of comfort, but things are still exciting.
9. The first time you need their support… and they’re right there Something bad happens to you and you reach out to your partner for the first time. This is a crucial moment. Will they be your strength or will they fail you? When they do the former, it’s such an emotionally intimate moment and can make you feel like you’re getting closer together than ever before.
10. The first time you have the ex talk It’s not easy to get real about exes with someone new, especially if your (or their) exes were toxic as they come. But if you have the emotional maturity and closeness to unwrap your ex files and be real with each other about your pasts, it’s a huge milestone. It also shows you that they’re willing to be open and honest with you.
11. The first time you learn about something embarrassing in their past Maybe they once ran down the street naked and drunk, or they asked someone out and got horribly rejected. Whatever the case, if their embarrassing moments make you laugh, remember that they’re much more than light-hearted and intriguing anecdotes. They can tell you lots about them, and by sharing those moments with you, they’re opening a door for you.
12. The first time they call just to hear your voice They might call you all the time to chat about your day or make plans for the weekend. But when they call you up just to hear your voice and they tell you so, that’s a soul-warming experience right there. It’s also romantic and makes you feel the love without it needing a grand gesture. It’s honest and real.
13. The first time they see you looking casual Maybe they always see you with your hair done up or your heels on. When you can properly relax with your partner and show them your real skin, real height, real hair, and so on, then you’re reaching a higher level of comfort and closeness. Doing this might make you feel even more naked than if you had to take your clothes off in front of them. Knowing that they love you just as you are whether you’re in a sexy LBD or athleisure is really good. They see you and like you, not just the version you show to the world.