If You’re Hoping Your Boyfriend Will Complete You, You’ll Actually End Up Empty

You love your boyfriend, but that doesn’t mean you should go all “you complete me” on him. That’s such crap and it needs to die. You were your own person before your relationship and you should still be now. No one completes you—you’re already whole.

He’s not a distraction from your life. 

You might read that and roll your eyes at that because you already know… but do you really? If you’re looking to him to complete you, maybe you’re just trying to avoid dealing with your problems or ditching the responsibility you have to make your life amazing.

Happiness is an inside job. 

Sure, your boyfriend’s going to make you deliriously happy sometimes, but the only happiness that lasts and that you can control is the one you create inside of yourself. If you depend on him to make you happy all the time, you’re forgetting that he’s a person with his own drama, pain, and suffering. There will be times when you’re going to have to make yourself happy, so learn how!

It’s not his responsibility. 

Yes, he’s got to be a great boyfriend who makes your happiness a priority, but that’s different to making it a responsibility. If you think he’s got to work super hard to keep a smile on your dial, you’re turning relationships into a job and expecting him to be your savior. Hello, you don’t need one.

You were complete without him.

No really, you were. You might’ve forgotten because your amazing relationship makes you feel like everything outside of it is dull AF but you had a full life and self-worth long before your BF came along. You don’t need a man in your life to give you those things.

He shouldn’t be your everything.

It’s common to feel so loved up you just want to make your boyfriend your entire world, and hope that you’re his everything. Unhealthy, much? You should still have a life outside of your relationship, otherwise, you’re just surviving for your relationship and nothing else. Screw that. You’re worth so much more!

You’ll end up with nothing.

Your boyfriend might be making you feel fabulous and like the best version of yourself, but you could still end up sad AF in your relationship. How? If you’re not feeling fabulous yourself, you won’t gain satisfaction, no matter how much he tells you you’re amazing. It just won’t be authentic. Be everything to yourself and you’ll never be empty.

You’ll depend on him too much.

If he’s the reason why your life is so great and you have amazing self-confidence, it’s a worry. You shouldn’t depend on your BF so much—it will just make you value his opinions over yours, and leave you lost AF. Don’t neglect yourself.

You’ll lower your standards.

If you’re waiting for the guy to complete you, you’re lowering your standards. He might be meeting them, but you’re not meeting them for yourself! You’re totally forgetting how you should be respecting, loving, and completing yourself.

You’ve put him on a pedestal.

Giving someone the power to complete you means that they’re on a pedestal, like some god. What BS! Don’t think you have to worship him or something. He’s just a flawed person like everyone else. Besides, while you’re singing his praises, what about singing your own? You’re valuable AF. Don’t forget it.

You’ll become clingy. 

Here’s the dark side of the romantic statement “You complete me”: you feel that you need the person so much that you end up clingy AF. Instead of keeping the person around, this’ll make them GTFO and it’ll turn you into someone you really don’t want to be. That’s not love—that’s dysfunction.

You’ll question your worth.

If the relationship ends, what will you have left? You’ll have lost the person who built you up and now you’ll be left feeling depressed and worthless without him. Uh, no. Build yourself up and love yourself, whether you’re in a relationship or single. The relationship you have with yourself is the only one that’ll stand the test of time. So don’t pin all your self-worth on someone else. It’ll only lead to disappointment.

Only you can define yourself.

Imagine your BF tells you how amazing you are one day but then tells you that you’re worthless the next. If you’ve been depending on him so much to fill you up, now you’re going to allow him to define you in a negative way. It’s total crap. You’re not so needy and pathetic. You’re the only one who has the power to define yourself. No one else has that right. Ever.

You can’t love someone if you don’t love yourself.

You’ve heard this saying a million times before, but it’s so popular because it’s spot on. If you don’t love yourself and feel complete in the person you are before your dream guy comes along, you’re not going to ever feel complete with him. Work on yourself and be the most amazing person you love spending time with and you’ll never need anyone to make you feel worthy. You’ll ooze worthiness everywhere you go.

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