Sometimes people aren’t in your life because they care about you—they’re there because they’re getting something out of it. They might act like they’re your biggest fan, but if you dig a little deeper, their intentions aren’t all that pure. If you feel like someone’s taking advantage of you but can’t quite put your finger on it, watch for these 13 sneaky behaviors that show someone’s using you.
1. They Only Call When They Need Something
You know the type, you only hear from them when they need a favor or advice. Weeks can go by without a peep, but the moment they’re in a jam, you’re the first person they call. If the relationship feels one-sided, and you’re only their go-to in emergencies, they’re not in your life for the right reasons. Real connections go both ways.
2. They Never Match Your Effort
If you’re always the one doing the heavy lifting—whether it’s planning hangouts, offering help, or just being there—while they barely lift a finger, that’s a definite red flag. Relationships should be a two-way street, but if you’re putting in all the work while they sit back and take, they’re clearly using you. They love the benefits but won’t give back.
3. Conversations Always Turn Back to Them
Ever notice how they can turn any conversation into something about themselves? You start talking about your day, and suddenly they’ve made it about their own drama. If it feels like they only listen long enough to find a way to talk about themselves, that’s a sign. People who use other people don’t care about your story—they’re only interested in how they can insert themselves into it.
4. They Disappear When You Need Them
You’ve been there for them through thick and thin, but when it’s your turn to need support, they vanish into thin air. Maybe they’re “busy” or “dealing with their own stuff,” but either way, they’re not showing up when it counts even though you’d do it for them without batting an eyelid. If someone’s only around when it benefits them, you’re being used, plain and simple.
5. They Butter You Up Before Asking for Favors
Be wary of people who lay on the compliments *right before* they ask you for something. If they’re suddenly telling you how amazing you are, only to follow it up with a favor, that’s a huge sign they’re manipulating you. They’re not giving you genuine praise—they’re just trying to grease the wheels so you’re more likely to say yes.
6. They Take Credit for Your Hard Work
If they’re always the first to grab the credit for your ideas or efforts, they’re not just a user—they’re a taker. People who use others love to swoop in at the last minute and act like they did all the heavy lifting when really, it was your work that got them the praise. If they can’t give you proper credit, they’re only out for themselves.
7. They Constantly Push Your Boundaries
It starts with small favors that seem harmless, but soon they’re pushing you for more and more. If they’re always testing your limits and ignoring your “no,” they don’t respect your boundaries. That’s not just them being persistent—they’re using you by slowly wearing you down to get what they want. Healthy relationships don’t involve someone pushing you to your breaking point.
8. They Guilt You Into Doing Things
“If you really cared, you’d help me out with this…” Sound familiar? People who use you will guilt-trip you into doing things, making you feel bad if you say no. It’s emotional manipulation 101, and it’s one of the clearest signs that someone’s using you. Real friends don’t need to guilt you into helping them—they respect your boundaries without the added guilt.
9. They Borrow, Borrow, Borrow (and Never Give Back)
They’re always asking for a favor, a loan, or just “a little bit of your time,” but when it’s time to return the favor, they’re nowhere to be found. If someone’s constantly taking without giving anything back, they’re not interested in a reciprocal relationship—they’re interested in what they can get from you. And let’s be real, they were never actually planning to pay it back.
10. They Downplay Your Wins
When you share good news, and they just can’t seem to find it in themselves to celebrate it, and that’s a huge red flag. If they brush off your achievements or try to one-up you, it’s because your success doesn’t serve their agenda, or they’re plainly jealous of you. People who use others aren’t genuinely happy when you win—they’re only happy when you’re useful to them. If they can’t support you, they’re just in it for themselves.
11. They Make You Feel Like You Owe Them
Somehow, they twist things to make you feel like you owe them—even when you’ve done everything for them. It’s a manipulative tactic to keep you giving, even when you’ve already given enough. If you constantly feel like you’re in their debt, even though you’re the one doing the work, you’re not in a balanced relationship—they’re using you, and they know it.
12. They Keep a Tally of Everything They Do for You
People who use others love keeping score, reminding you of every little thing they’ve done as a way to guilt you into doing more. “Remember that one time I helped you out? Now it’s your turn.” But you know deep down that healthy relationships don’t involve keeping a tally—they’re about mutual respect and support. If they’re always keeping tabs, they’re setting you up to owe them.
13. They’re Not Invested in You
At the end of the day, people who use you aren’t emotionally invested in your life. They don’t ask how you’re doing unless there’s something in it for them. If they’re not genuinely interested in your well-being, your goals, or your happiness, they’re not in your life for the right reasons. They’re there to take what they need and bounce when they’re done.
