13 Reasons A Glass Of Wine Is Better Than A Boyfriend

Boyfriends are great sometimes. At other times, they’re not so hot. They might fight with you, stink up your apartment, make snarky comments about your friends, or forget to pay you a compliment when you’ve made an effort. Boyfriends aren’t always all their cracked up to be, and sometimes it can drive you up the wall. But you know what doesn’t do any of those things? Wine. Be it a crisp Pinot Gris, a sparkling Prosecco, a fruity Rosé, a deep Shiraz… They’re all beautiful in their own ways, and they all have a lot to offer you that no man can! Here’s why wine is always better than a boyfriend.

  1. It makes you feel sexy. A few glasses of wine, and you’ve become the next Bond girl! You probably shouldn’t rely on this for all your mojo, but it does help loosen things up a bit.
  2. It will never cancel on you. Wine is a stable and reliable companion that’s always ready to go when you are! No having to work late or having a last minute emergency – wine will never let you down.
  3. It’s always delicious. Garlic breath? Stinky feet? Farts? No chance! Wine always smells great and is delicious.
  4. It’s a great listener. Whether you’ve had a bad day, or you just want to rant about the last episode of Pretty Little Liars, Mr. Pinot Noir is there to listen to your every word. Just pour a glass of wine, and pour your heart out!
  5. It helps you release some pent up emotions. Need a good cry? Never fear, wine is here! Wine will help you release all those emotions you’ve been storing up, and then it’ll stay with you while you weep and weep and weep.
  6. And it won’t judge you for ugly-crying. Wine doesn’t care! Let those tears flow, girl!
  7. In fact, wine will never judge you. Ever. Want that extra slice of pizza? Or to eat an entire container of ice cream while watching your favorite romantic-comedy? Wine will join you, without any hesitation or judgement!
  8. It’s great company. Wine is always down for the same things as you are. Want to go out dancing? Wine’s there. Or you could just stay in and eat pizza, and wine is more than happy to join you for that, too!
  9. It’ll always be there for you. Especially when you need it the most. Need a midday pick up? Wine is there. Need to blow off some steam after your boyfriend canceled plans? Get your corkscrew out!
  10. It’ll make you feel good without even trying. Just by being there, you feel better.
  11. It’s the perfect cuddle buddy. It’ll keep you warm at night without hogging the covers. It’ll lull you to sleep without being creepy. It’ll hold you tight without getting you all sweaty and snoring in your ear.
  12. You can bring it anywhere and it’ll never have a problem fitting in. Even if wine doesn’t know anyone at a party, it has no trouble fitting in. Wine is always super social, because who can remain quiet when wine’s involved?
  13. All your friends like wine.Even if wine’s not their “type” – maybe they’re more of a beer gal, or cider guy – they still like wine just fine!
  14. Wine will be there when you screw up. Accidentally drunk texted your ex-boyfriend? Wine will help you forget all about your troubles, even if it caused them to begin with.
Sarah is a full-time content marketer, part-time freelancer. She’s a serial hobbyist (which just means that she does a lot of random things, but none of them particularly well). Her real talent lies in her ability to consume copious amounts of wine, whilst discussing feminism and reading A Song of Ice and Fire for the 8th time... All while saving puppies from burning houses, of course. You can see more of her work here, or pop over to Twitter and say “‘ello ‘ello” @daughterdipstik