13 Reasons Not To Have Sex With Him Even Though You Really Like Him

You have great chemistry with the guy you’ve just met and your lust is off the charts, but there are some really good reasons to take a cold shower and wait before having sex with him.

  1. It shows him you’re worth it. It’s easy to jump into bed together on the first date, but if you hold out, you show him that you’re worth so much more than sex. You’re worth getting to know because you’re such an amazing person. You don’t need to get naked to show him why he should be with you.
  2. You see what he really wants. When you first get to know a guy, he might seem really into a relationship. If you have sex during this wonderful phase, it can lead to a rude awakening when he reveals his true desires later. Better to keep sex off the table until you know what he’s really like and what he wants from you relationship-wise so you don’t get hurt.
  3. It takes something special to build a connection. Sex is easy to have and get in our hookup culture, but it takes so much more to build something real with someone. Having a strong connection is greater than attraction and sexual chemistry, and it feels amazing so work on that first. Bonus: it will make the sex even more awesome.
  4. You bring mystery back. You might think it’s good to know someone physically and emotionally as soon as possible, but where’s the fun in that? Too many relationships start with sex and leave nothing to the imagination, nothing to work towards. Everything’s out in the open and the anticipation fizzles faster than you can take each other’s clothes off. It’s boring AF.
  5. You prevent sex from being a distraction. If the sex is amazing, it might cloud some not-so-great aspects of the guy. For instance, if there’s no real mental connection or he doesn’t have much going for him personality-wise. Remove sex from the picture in the beginning of your relationship so you can really see what you’re dealing with and if the guy is worth your time.
  6. It shows if he’s willing to wait. If you don’t have sex with a guy right away and he bolts or gets annoyed, he’s a jerk. But you wouldn’t get to see this side of him if you did have sex with him right away. Sometimes it pays to wait a bit so that you don’t regret having shared something so intimate with the wrong guy.
  7. The sex will be better if it’s not easy to get. Remember the anticipation of waiting for something and how your pleasure was heightened because you couldn’t get it at the click of your fingers? Yeah, we need more of that in our lives. Imagine how thrilling the sex will be if it’s not immediately in reach.
  8. You make your own rules. Who says that you’re a prude if you don’t have sex right away? Who says you need to have sex after the third date? There are no rules. Sometimes doing the opposite of jumping into bed with someone is exactly what you need in your life. It doesn’t always make sense to have sex right away and you shouldn’t feel pressured to do it.
  9. He’s crazy about you for all the right reasons. Sometimes guys seem really into you until they have sex with you. Jerks. Prevent those guys from entering your life and heart by keeping sex out of the equation when you first start dating them so that you can see what they really feel for you.
  10. You build stronger intimacy. You might think that sex is the most intimate thing you can do with someone, but there are many others to enjoy that can strengthen your connection. For instance, having a real soul-to-soul chat, sleeping together without having sex, and cuddling up together. Focus on those as they mean much more than jumping into bed together.
  11. You prevent nasty surprises. If you wait to have sex until you know the guy, you prevent some nasty surprises from affecting you, like if he’s had 300 sexual partners, has had loads of STDs in the past, or is clingy AF. Who would want to have sex with a guy like that, even if you protect your body and heart?
  12. You listen to your gut. The guy might seem amazing and be hot as hell, but if your gut is telling you not to sleep with him, then you should listen to it. Your intuition might know something about him that you don’t, but which could save you drama or heartbreak in future.
  13. You prevent your relationship from being only about sex. If you have great sex and it becomes a big part of your relationship, you run the risk of your relationship being about sex and nothing else. You want sex to mean something, after all, and it can’t if it’s the only thing you have going for you.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.