13 Reasons School Doesn’t Actually Teach You How To Be A Functioning Adult

13 Reasons School Doesn’t Actually Teach You How To Be A Functioning Adult

Amidst the pop quizzes and history essays, there’s a strange lesson whispered in the halls of academia: the notion that school will prepare you for life, fully equipped as a functioning adult. Yet, as diplomas are handed out, it becomes apparent that amongst equations and the periodic table, something vital was left unlearned. How to navigate the labyrinth of adulthood with grace and efficiency was never on the syllabus. Perhaps it’s time to examine why the education system falls short in preparing you for the real-world complexities of adult life.

1. Financial Literacy Is Nowhere To Be Found

It’s ironic how you could recite the quadratic formula in your sleep, yet the concept of a 401(k) is a foreign language. Schools tend to sidestep the nitty-gritty of personal finance, leaving you to decipher taxes, credit scores, and budgeting through trial and error. According to a 2021 study published by the National Endowment for Financial Education, about 76% of adults believe high school graduates lack the financial knowledge they need to make smart decisions. The gap between academia and financial literacy leaves many scrambling, piecing together advice from YouTube videos and questionable online forums.

As you navigate student loans, mortgages, and investments, this knowledge gap can feel like a chasm. The absent curriculum on managing debt, understanding interest rates, and planning for retirement is a disservice. Without guidance, many fall prey to financial pitfalls that could have been avoided with just a foundational understanding taught in school. It’s more than numbers; it’s the bedrock of a secure future, and yet, it’s unaccounted for in your education.

2. Mastering Emotional Intelligence Is Overlooked

Emotional intelligence, that nuanced ability to understand and manage your own emotions while empathizing with others, is often pushed aside in favor of standardized testing. Yet, it’s this very skill that many find most crucial when navigating social dynamics, relationships, and the workplace. Life throws emotional curveballs that can’t be tackled with rote memorization, and schools often leave you unprepared for the emotional weight of adult dilemmas. The intricacies of human interaction are rarely black and white, demanding a skill set that textbooks alone can’t provide.

Without a focus on emotional intelligence, you might find yourself struggling to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts, or understand the emotional undercurrents of everyday interactions. This deficiency can manifest in personal relationships and professional environments, where empathy and self-awareness are often more valuable than technical knowledge. It’s a gap that leaves you stumbling through the early stages of adulthood, learning crucial lessons through personal mistakes rather than guided teaching. In the end, emotional intelligence is as vital as academic success, if not more so, in today’s interconnected world.

3. There’s A Lack Of Practical Skills Training

You could wax poetic about the symbolism in “The Great Gatsby,” but changing a tire or fixing a leaky faucet? That’s another story. Practical, hands-on skills are sidelined, considered less important than theoretical knowledge. According to Dr. Tony Wagner of the Harvard Graduate School of Education, practical skills are critical for innovation and entrepreneurship, yet they receive scant attention in traditional curricula. The absence of this training leaves you fumbling with basic life tasks, reliant on professionals for minor hiccups that could be self-managed.

This oversight leaves a generation dependent on apps and services for straightforward challenges. Whether it’s cooking a meal from scratch or undertaking a basic home repair, these skills empower you to navigate life with confidence. They foster independence and resourcefulness, qualities that are invaluable in adulthood. Yet, without formal instruction, many are left to learn through necessity or not at all, missing out on the empowerment that comes from self-sufficiency.

4. Time Management Skills Aren’t In The Equation

The ringing school bell may have taught you to be punctual, but managing your own time is an entirely different ballgame. The rigid academic schedule doesn’t translate to the fluid demands of adult life, where priorities aren’t neatly laid out for you. Time management is a cornerstone of productivity and mental health, influencing everything from work output to personal relationships. Yet, it’s often overshadowed by academic priorities, leaving you to learn its importance the hard way.

After graduation, you quickly realize that balancing work, social life, and personal interests requires more than just a planner. It’s about prioritizing tasks, setting realistic goals, and learning to say no—a skill not often discussed in classrooms. This trial-by-fire approach to time management can lead to stress and burnout, as you juggle the conflicting demands of adulthood without guidance. By the time you figure it out, the lessons come from scattered experiences rather than structured learning.

5. The Art Of Negotiation Is Overlooked

Whether it’s negotiating your salary, a lease, or even domestic responsibilities, negotiation is a critical, yet surprisingly absent part of the curriculum. You’re often left to muddle your way through important conversations without a framework for achieving mutually beneficial outcomes. According to a study from the Harvard Program on Negotiation, those with strong negotiation skills are more likely to achieve their personal and professional goals. This omission in education leaves you at a disadvantage in both career and personal life, where negotiation is key to advocating for yourself.

In a world where assertiveness and clear communication can define the trajectory of your career, the lack of negotiation training is glaring. From boardrooms to living rooms, the ability to navigate and steer conversations toward favorable outcomes is invaluable. Without it, you may find yourself acquiescing to less-than-desirable terms out of uncertainty or fear. Learning to negotiate effectively enhances your professional and personal life, forging pathways to success and satisfaction that remain obscured without it.

6. Understanding Mental Health Is Ignored

blonde woman serious looking at camera
Jose Calsina/iStock

Mental health, much like physical health, requires regular attention and care, yet it’s rarely addressed with the depth it deserves in schools. You’re often taught to study hard and achieve high grades, but the importance of maintaining mental well-being is a footnote, if mentioned at all. As a result, many enter adulthood without the tools to manage stress, anxiety, or burnout—issues that are prevalent in today’s fast-paced world. The stigma surrounding mental health further complicates the situation, leaving you in the dark about when and how to seek help.

This lack of education around mental health can have long-lasting effects, influencing your ability to cope with life’s pressures. Without understanding mental health, recognizing signs of distress in yourself or others becomes challenging. Schools often miss the opportunity to normalize mental health discussions, equipping you with coping mechanisms and the confidence to ask for help. It’s a blind spot that needs addressing, as mental health is a vital component of a balanced, healthy life.

7. Networking Isn’t Taught

Portrait of a serious mid adult woman at home

The saying goes that it’s not what you know, but who you know, emphasizing the importance of networking in professional growth. Unfortunately, building and maintaining professional relationships is not a skill taught in the classroom. Research by sociologist Dr. Ronald Burt of the University of Chicago indicates that networking can significantly impact career advancement and job satisfaction. Yet, without formal education in this area, you’re often left to figure it out by trial and error, potentially missing valuable opportunities along the way.

Networking extends beyond exchanging business cards; it’s about cultivating genuine connections and leveraging them for mutual benefit. This art form requires practice, confidence, and strategy, elements absent from traditional education. As you navigate your career, the skills of networking can be the difference between stagnation and success, offering pathways to opportunities and growth. Without guidance, this essential skill remains underdeveloped, limiting your professional potential.

8. Critical Thinking Isn’t Prioritized

man with crossed arms looking serious

While schools excel in teaching you to memorize and regurgitate information, the art of critical thinking often receives inadequate emphasis. In a world overflowing with information, the ability to analyze, question, and form independent opinions is crucial. Yet, traditional education often prioritizes standardized tests over developing the ability to think deeply and critically. As a result, you might find yourself ill-prepared to tackle the moral and ethical dilemmas that adulthood inevitably presents.

Critical thinking equips you to navigate the complexities of life, from understanding societal issues to making informed decisions. It’s about discerning credible sources, analyzing arguments, and recognizing bias—all essential skills in today’s digital age. Without a strong foundation in critical thinking, you’re more susceptible to misinformation and manipulation, both in media and interpersonal relationships. It’s a skill that underpins informed citizenship, yet its development is often sidelined in favor of rote learning.

9. Conflict Resolution Lacks Depth

sad woman at playground with man behind her

Schools might teach you to share and play nice, but the intricate dance of conflict resolution remains elusive. Navigating disagreements requires nuance, empathy, and an understanding of human dynamics—skills that aren’t adequately addressed in the classroom. As adults, conflicts arise in various settings, and resolving them constructively is vital for maintaining healthy relationships. Without formal training in conflict resolution, you’re left to muddle through disagreements, often exacerbating tensions rather than alleviating them.

The absence of structured conflict resolution education leaves a void that impacts personal and professional interactions. Learning to listen, empathize, and find common ground are skills that benefit all areas of life, fostering harmonious environments. The ability to address and resolve conflicts peacefully not only enhances relationships but also boosts self-esteem and confidence. Without this guidance, conflicts can become roadblocks rather than opportunities for growth and understanding.

10. Work And Life Balance Isn’t Addressed

millennial woman working at laptop

Juggling career aspirations with personal life is an art form in itself, yet schools rarely broach the subject. The relentless pursuit of academic achievement often leaves little room for discussions about maintaining work-life balance. Without guidance, you might find yourself overwhelmed by the demands of adulthood, struggling to prioritize and maintain equilibrium. This lack of preparation can lead to burnout, as work encroaches on personal time and vice versa.

Finding a balance doesn’t just happen; it requires intentional effort and strategies, which are often learned through trial and error. The absence of this conversation in education leaves you to navigate these waters alone, potentially sacrificing personal well-being for career advancement. Understanding how to set boundaries, prioritize self-care, and maintain fulfilling personal relationships is crucial for overall happiness and productivity. Without this knowledge, you risk sacrificing one for the sake of the other, rather than finding harmony between the two.

11. Embracing Failure Is Not Encouraged

smiling woman looking off to side

In a system where grades and accolades measure success, the concept of failure is often stigmatized. Yet, failure is an integral part of learning and growth, providing valuable lessons and fostering resilience. Schools often miss the opportunity to teach you how to embrace and learn from failure, leaving you ill-equipped to handle setbacks in adulthood. This aversion to failure can lead to fear and avoidance, hindering personal and professional growth.

Learning to view failure as a stepping stone rather than a roadblock requires a shift in mindset that isn’t often fostered in traditional education. It’s about resilience, adaptability, and the courage to try again, all crucial skills for navigating life’s challenges. Without encouragement to embrace failure, you may shy away from risks and opportunities, limiting your potential for innovation and discovery. Acknowledging failure as part of the journey, rather than the end, empowers you to continue striving toward your goals.

12. Cultural Competency Isn’t Part Of The Conversation

A young adult African American enjoys the sunshine as he strolls down a city walkway. The bright sunlight casts interesting shadows on the wall behind.

In an increasingly globalized world, understanding and appreciating cultural diversity are more important than ever. Yet, schools often fall short in providing comprehensive education on cultural competence. This gap leaves you unprepared to engage effectively and respectfully with people from diverse backgrounds, a crucial skill in today’s interconnected society. Without this understanding, you risk perpetuating stereotypes and missing out on the richness that diverse perspectives offer.

Cultural competency extends beyond recognizing cultural differences; it’s about valuing them and knowing how to communicate across cultural boundaries. It’s a skill that enhances personal relationships, professional environments, and global awareness. The absence of this education limits your ability to navigate diverse environments with sensitivity and respect. Embracing cultural diversity enriches your life, broadens your perspective, and fosters harmony in an increasingly multicultural world.

13. There’s Little Focus On Self-Advocacy

Self-advocacy, the ability to communicate your needs and rights effectively, is a skill that often goes untaught in schools. It’s about knowing your worth, setting boundaries, and asserting your needs confidently, both personally and professionally. Without formal education in self-advocacy, you might struggle to assert yourself, whether negotiating a raise or standing up for your beliefs. This gap leaves you vulnerable to being overshadowed or taken advantage of, impacting self-esteem and life satisfaction.

Teaching self-advocacy fosters independence, confidence, and empowerment, equipping you to navigate life’s challenges with self-assurance. It’s about finding your voice and using it effectively to achieve your goals and protect your interests. The absence of this education leaves you to learn through experience, often at the cost of missed opportunities or compromised well-being. Embracing self-advocacy isn’t just about personal gain; it’s a crucial component of effective communication, leadership, and life satisfaction.

Natasha is a seasoned lifestyle journalist and editor based in New York City. Originally from Sydney, during a a stellar two-decade career, she has reported on the latest lifestyle news and trends for major media brands including Elle and Grazia.