13 Reasons Why People Who Grew Up Poor Have Better Manners Than the Rest of Us

13 Reasons Why People Who Grew Up Poor Have Better Manners Than the Rest of Us

This might ruffle some well-ironed feathers, but what the heck—there’s often a certain grace that comes from growing up without much silver in your spoon. It’s not about romanticizing struggle or suggesting that all wealthy folks have the manners of a hangry toddler. Instead, it’s about recognizing how certain life experiences can shape someone’s character in beautiful, unexpected ways.

1. They Get That Respect Isn’t About Status

When you’ve grown up watching your parents work three jobs just to keep the lights on, you learn pretty quickly that a person’s worth isn’t measured by their bank account. These people can spot genuine character from a mile away, and they’ll treat the janitor with the same respect they show the CEO. They’ve learned through experience that dignity isn’t something you earn with a fancy title—it’s something everyone deserves just for being human. You’ll often find them making eye contact with servers, learning security guards’ names, and showing genuine interest in everyone they meet.

2. They Treat Everything Like It’s Precious

Waste not, want not isn’t just a cute saying for these people—it’s basically their religion. Growing up where everything had to last means they’ve developed an almost supernatural respect for resources, including other people’s time and energy. They’re the ones who’ll carefully fold wrapping paper to reuse it, make sure every drop of sauce gets used, and somehow turn leftovers into gourmet meals. This mindset spills over into how they treat people too—they won’t waste your time with fake promises or empty gestures. Every interaction matters because they know what it’s like when resources are limited.

3. Humility Isn’t an Act

When you’ve grown up with hand-me-downs and government cheese, you develop the kind of humility that can’t be faked. These people could win the lottery tomorrow and still remember to thank the person who holds the door for them. Success doesn’t go to their heads because they know it can disappear faster than a payday check at bill time. They’ve mastered the art of being proud without being prideful, grateful without being groveling. You’ll never catch them trying to prove they’re better than anyone else because they know that’s not what matters.

4. They’re First to Roll Up Their Sleeves

When you grow up in a household where everyone has to pitch in just to keep things running, helping out becomes as natural as breathing. They don’t wait to be asked—they’re already up and clearing the table before dinner’s done. They’ll help you move, paint your house, or watch your kids without expecting anything in return because that’s just what you do. The concept of “not my job” doesn’t exist in their vocabulary when someone needs help. They’re usually the first to arrive and the last to leave when there’s work to be done.

5. They Choose Relationships Over Things Any Day

Growing up when entertainment meant making your own fun with whatever was around teaches you that the best things in life aren’t things at all. These people value quality time over expensive gifts and would rather have a genuine conversation than an impressive status symbol. They can make a pizza party feel like a five-star dining experience because they know it’s about the company, not the cuisine. Their relationships tend to be deeper and more authentic because they learned early on that connections matter more than collections. You’ll never see them trying to impress people with material things because they know true worth isn’t found in a price tag.

6. They Work Hard and Know Others Do Too

Having watched parents work multiple jobs or do it themselves, these folks have a deep respect for hard work in any form. They’re the ones who learn maintenance workers’ names and actually ask how they’re doing. Every job gets respect because they know what it’s like to do whatever it takes to make ends meet. They’ll often be extra patient with service workers and go out of their way to make their jobs easier. You’ll never catch them looking down on any kind of honest work because they know every job has dignity.

7. They’re Genuinely Grateful for Everything

When you’ve experienced times when even basics were luxuries, you develop a kind of gratitude radar that picks up on every little blessing. They’ll thank you for letting them go before you in line like you just gave them a kidney. Every kind gesture, no matter how small, gets noticed and appreciated because they remember when those gestures made all the difference. They’re the ones who’ll write thank-you notes for thank-you notes and actually mean it. You’ll catch them smiling about things most people take for granted, like having hot water or a full fridge.

8. The Art of Sharing Comes Naturally

couple eating ice cream kitchen

Growing up in a household where resources were stretched thinner than dollar store paper towels teaches you that sharing isn’t just caring—it’s surviving. These guys will split their last cookie with you without thinking twice about it. They’ve mastered the art of making sure everyone has enough, even when there isn’t really enough to go around. The concept of hoarding good fortune feels as foreign to them as a gold-plated toilet. Whether it’s food, space, or time, they share with a generosity that makes you wonder if they’ve got some secret stash somewhere.

9. They Listen Like It’s Their Superpower

When you grow up in situations where you need to read between the lines to understand if mom’s “I’m not hungry” means she’s giving you her portion, you develop some serious listening skills. They’re not just hearing your words; they’re catching every sigh, noticing every subtle shift in tone, and actually remembering what you said last week about your cat’s dental surgery. You’ll never catch them doing that fake-listening-while-checking-phone thing that’s become everyone’s favorite social habit. For them, giving someone their full attention isn’t just polite±it’s second nature.

10. They Know Kindness is Important

A kind gesture hits different when you’ve experienced times where kindness was all you had to give or receive. These folks remember every single nice thing anyone’s ever done for them like they’re keeping a gratitude diary in their heads. They’ll recall that time you shared your lunch with them in third grade with the same clarity most people reserve for major life events. When someone helps them out, their thank-you comes with the kind of sincerity that makes you feel like you just saved their entire family. They never take generosity for granted because they know exactly how valuable it is.

11. Empathy Runs in Their Blood

When you’ve walked a mile in worn-out shoes, you tend to notice when others are struggling with their own journey. These people can spot someone having a rough day and will often be the first to offer help, even when they don’t have much to give. They’re the ones who’ll secretly pay for someone’s groceries when their card gets declined, or slip an extra tip to a stressed-out server. Every interaction comes with a side of understanding because they know what it’s like to need a break.

12. They Have The Patience of Saints

When you’ve grown up waiting for payday to eat something other than ramen, you develop the kind of patience that would impress a monk. They don’t get frustrated standing in long lines or dealing with delays because they’ve dealt with much worse. They understand that good things take time and sometimes you just have to wait your turn. Their patience extends to people too—they’re usually the last ones to get annoyed with servers, customer service reps, or anyone else just trying to do their job. They know from experience that getting angry rarely makes things better.

13. They’re Living Proof That Class Isn’t Bought

smiling woman with arms crossed yoga studio

These folks prove daily that true class has nothing to do with your bank account and everything to do with how you treat people. They might not know which fork to use at a fancy dinner, but they’ll make everyone at the table feel valued and welcome. Their manners come from a place of genuine respect and consideration rather than rigid rules or social climbing. They’ve mastered the art of making others feel important without making themselves feel superior. Their kind of class can’t be bought because it’s built from experience and empathy.

Phoebe Mertens is a writer, speaker, and strategist who has helped dozens of female-founded and led companies reach success in areas such a finance, tech, science, and fashion. Her keen eye for detail and her innovative approach to modern womanhood makes her one of the most sought-out in her industry, and there's nothing she loves more than to see these companies shine.

With an MBA from NYU's Stern School of Business and features in Forbes and Fast Company she Phoebe has proven she knows her stuff. While she doesn't use social media, she does have a private Instagram just to look at pictures of cats.