13 Signs You Did Actually Marry Your Best Friend

13 Signs You Did Actually Marry Your Best Friend

Marriage is often portrayed as a union built on love, romance, and mutual respect. But what happens when you throw friendship into the mix? Marrying your best friend can add a unique layer of depth and understanding to your relationship. It’s more than shared interests or finishing each other’s sentences; it’s about a deep-rooted connection that makes life feel more manageable and enjoyable. Here are 13 signs that you might have actually married your best friend.

1. You Share Inside Jokes

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You know those moments when just a glance is enough to send you both into fits of laughter? Those inside jokes are the secret language of best friends. Whether it’s a word, a look, or a gesture, these little things act as reminders of all the times you’ve shared. According to Dr. Irene Levine, a friendship expert and psychologist, shared humor creates a bond that strengthens over time. This shared sense of humor is not just about laughing at the same things, but understanding why they’re funny to both of you.

Having a set of inside jokes is like having a private club with a two-person membership. It’s a sign that you’re both so comfortable with each other that you can let your guard down and be silly. This ease and humor create a light-hearted environment that’s essential for handling life’s stresses. Plus, it shows that you both take time to notice the little quirks and habits that make each other unique. Ultimately, it’s these tiny, humorous moments that solidify the foundation of your friendship within your marriage.

2. You Celebrate Each Other’s Wins

When something good happens in your life, your spouse is the first person you want to tell. Not because you have to, but because they genuinely understand what it took for you to get there. They celebrate your victories as if they were their own, offering more than just a congratulatory nod. You both take each other’s successes as opportunities to feel proud and grateful for having someone so supportive. It reinforces the idea that you’re both on the same team.

Being able to celebrate each other’s achievements shows that there’s no room for jealousy or competition in your marriage. This mutual support is a key marker of a strong friendship. When you both understand that one person’s success is a shared joy, it strengthens your bond. It becomes clear that you’re each other’s biggest cheerleaders, and that’s a comforting feeling. You know that when you reach a milestone, big or small, you can count on them to be genuinely happy for you.

3. You Argue, But With Respect

Arguments are inevitable, but it’s how you handle them that really counts. If you find that even your disagreements are more like civil debates rather than screaming matches, that’s a sign of a solid friendship. According to John Gottman, a renowned psychologist known for his work on marital stability, the key to resolving disagreements is maintaining a sense of respect and understanding. Instead of resorting to name-calling or dredging up past issues, you both focus on resolving the issue at hand. This shows that you value each other’s feelings even when you’re not on the same page.

Having arguments where you both feel heard and understood is crucial. It means you’re not afraid to be vulnerable and express your true feelings. This openness is a cornerstone of any strong friendship and marriage. You work through your disagreements without letting them define your relationship. It gives you both the chance to grow and learn, making your connection even stronger.

4. You Have Shared Interests, But Also Respect Your Differences

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You both have things you love to do together, whether it’s hiking, cooking, or binge-watching the same TV shows. But, you’re also completely okay with having different interests. Maybe you’re into painting while your spouse spends weekends golfing. This balance of shared activities and personal space keeps things fresh and exciting. It’s a sign that you respect each other’s individuality within the relationship.

Having shared interests is like adding fuel to the friendship fire. They provide opportunities for bonding and creating new memories. However, letting each other explore separate interests signifies trust and respect. It shows that you don’t expect your partner to be a carbon copy of you. This mutual appreciation for both shared and individual pursuits adds depth and dimension to your relationship.

5. You Support Each Other Emotionally

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Emotional support is a big deal, and you both know exactly how to be there for each other. When life gets tough, your partner is your go-to person for comfort and advice. A study by Dr. James Coan at the University of Virginia found that holding the hand of a trusted partner can significantly reduce stress. Having someone who understands your emotional needs can make difficult times more bearable. It’s moments like these that highlight your spouse as your best friend.

Being emotionally supportive means more than just offering comforting words. It involves actively listening and being present in each other’s lives. This level of understanding requires a friendship built on trust and empathy. When you both know how to be there for each other emotionally, it creates an unshakeable bond. You become each other’s safe haven, a sign that you’ve married your best friend.

6. You Can Be Your Weird Self

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Feeling free to be your weird, quirky self around your spouse is a priceless gift. They’re the person who won’t judge you for dancing around the kitchen or talking to the dog as if it could respond. Instead, they might even join in or encourage your eccentricities. This comfort and freedom are marks of a deep friendship. You both accept each other exactly as you are, quirks and all.

This level of comfort indicates that you share more than just love; you share a friendship. It allows you to have fun and be silly without fear of judgment. Being able to exhibit your true self is crucial for any lasting relationship. When you both feel safe to express your individuality, it fosters a healthy environment. You keep each other grounded, real, and endlessly entertained.

7. You Know Each Other’s Weaknesses and Strengths

You have a detailed mental map of each other’s strengths and weaknesses, and you navigate it effortlessly. Whether you’re the organized one and they’re the spontaneous spirit, you both know how to balance each other out. Dr. John Gray, author of “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus,” notes that understanding and accepting differences is key to healthy relationships. You don’t judge each other for your shortcomings, but rather help to fill in the gaps. This mutual understanding adds a layer of respect and admiration to your partnership.

Recognizing each other’s strengths and weaknesses without trying to change them is a significant aspect of friendship in marriage. It’s about appreciating the whole person, not just the parts you find appealing. This acceptance allows you both to grow in your ways while still supporting one another. When you celebrate each other’s strengths and work through weaknesses, it creates a balanced relationship. It’s a sign that you’ve married someone who’s truly your best friend.

8. You Have Each Other’s Back

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Having each other’s back isn’t just about supporting each other in public or defending each other to friends and family. It’s about being a constant pillar of support even when no one else is watching. It’s knowing without a doubt that your partner is there for you no matter what. This unwavering support is a hallmark of true friendship. It’s about showing up for each other in ways big and small, proving that you’re in this together.

This kind of reliability fosters a deep sense of security in the relationship. You both know that you can count on each other when life throws curveballs. It means that you’re not just partners in love but partners in life. This mutual support extends beyond words and into actions that define the essence of your friendship. Knowing someone has your back makes facing challenges a little less daunting and life a bit more enjoyable.

9. You Enjoy Simple Moments Together

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While grand gestures are nice, you both find joy in the simple, everyday moments. Whether it’s cooking dinner together, taking a walk, or just sitting in comfortable silence, these moments are the ones that matter most. It’s not about the extravagance but the connection you share. These small, seemingly mundane moments become the foundation of your friendship. They remind you both that it’s the little things that really count.

Finding joy in the everyday speaks to a deep-rooted friendship. It shows that you don’t need constant excitement to be happy. It’s about enjoying each other’s presence, no matter what you’re doing. The ability to find happiness in these simple moments means you’ve married someone who’s more than a spouse—they’re your best friend. It’s a reminder that true friendship is often found in the everyday.

10. You Can Be Honest Without Fear

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In a relationship where friendship is at the core, honesty flows naturally. You can share your thoughts and feelings without worrying about repercussions. This openness builds trust and strengthens your bond. It’s freeing to know you can be transparent without the fear of judgment. This level of honesty is a rare find and a sign of a strong friendship within your marriage.

Being honest doesn’t mean sugarcoating or avoiding the hard truths. It means trusting that your partner can handle your authenticity and vice versa. This honesty fosters a deeper connection, allowing you both to face challenges together. It’s a testament to the trust and respect that form the backbone of your marriage. When you can be honest without fear, you know you’ve truly married your best friend.

11. You Make Decisions Together

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In a marriage built on friendship, making decisions together comes naturally. Whether it’s deciding where to go on vacation or budgeting for the month, you value each other’s input. It’s about finding a balance that works for both of you. This collaborative approach shows that you see each other as equals. It’s a sign that you respect each other’s opinions and trust each other’s judgment.

Co-decision making is a reflection of the partnership you’ve built. It means you’re both working towards common goals, valuing each other’s perspectives. This shared decision-making process fosters a sense of unity and teamwork. It shows that you’re not just in this for yourselves, but for each other. The ability to make decisions together is a hallmark of a relationship grounded in friendship.

12. You Have Unconditional Trust

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Trust is a cornerstone of any strong relationship, but when friendship is involved, it’s unconditional. It means you both trust each other implicitly, without second-guessing intentions. This sort of trust takes time to build, but is invaluable. It allows you both to be vulnerable, knowing that your partner will be respectful and caring. This level of trust is a testament to the depth of your friendship.

Unconditional trust means you don’t have to question each other’s motives or actions. It’s a sign that you’ve both invested in building a solid foundation. This trust allows you to focus on growing together rather than worrying about potential pitfalls. It’s an indicator that you’re both committed to nurturing your relationship. Unconditional trust is a surefire sign that you’ve married your best friend.

13. You Can Spend Time Apart Without Worrying

Spending time apart is just as healthy as spending time together. You both understand that you don’t have to be attached at the hip to have a strong marriage. Whether it’s a weekend trip with friends or a solo day of relaxation, you respect each other’s need for personal space. This freedom shows trust and comfort in the relationship. It’s a sign that your marriage is built on a solid foundation of friendship.

Being comfortable with spending time apart indicates a mature, balanced relationship. It means you’re confident in your connection and don’t need constant proximity to feel close. This time apart allows you both to recharge and bring fresh energy back into your relationship. It’s a testament to the trust and understanding that define your friendship. Knowing you can be apart and still feel connected is a hallmark of marrying your best friend.

Danielle is a writer, editor, and copywriter with extensive experience writing about love, career and emotional patterns. She’s written for The Cut, Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health, Tinder, Bumble, WeWork, Taskrabbit, and others.

She draws on research as well as her own personal experience—the things she figured out in her thirties that she wishes she'd known in her twenties.

She particularly enjoys writing about relationship issues, leveling up in your career, and anything related to women navigating different social dynamics and life stages. When she's not writing, she's hunting for vintage finds or trying every coffee shop in a ten-mile radius. She lives in New York, NY.