13 Signs You Have Serious Anger Issues & Need To Calm Down

13 Signs You Have Serious Anger Issues & Need To Calm Down

Everyone gets mad sometimes, and for good reason — people are infuriating and do things to annoy you. However, there’s a difference between feeling occasionally peeved and being so full of fury that your blood pressure is through the roof and your heart feels like it’s beating out of your chest 24/7. Here’s how you know you have serious anger issues and need to chill out.

1. You get infuriated over the tiniest inconveniences.

angry guy upset with girlfriend

If you find yourself blowing up over little things, you clearly have anger issues. It’s like a switch flips over stuff that wouldn’t bother most people. Maybe someone cuts you off in traffic and you’re fuming for hours, or your coffee isn’t hot enough and it ruins your morning. This kind of reaction to minor inconveniences or accidents is a red flag. If tiny triggers are setting off volcanic eruptions of anger, it’s a sign you might need to work on managing your reactions.

2. Your anger lasts wayyyy longer than it should.

Millennial couple sitting on bed after argument

So, you got mad, which happens to everyone. However, if your anger lingers for days or even weeks, that’s not so normal. Holding onto anger for long periods of time can be emotionally exhausting and can strain your relationships. It’s like having a cloud of negativity hanging over you that you can’t shake off. Who wants to live like that, really?

3. You have a lot of outbursts.

red flags relationship

If your day is punctuated by frequent spates of you losing your ever-loving mind, it’s a serious sign. These could be verbal outbursts or physical ones like slamming doors or throwing things. It’s like you’re some kind of human pressure cooker that has to constantly be letting off steam. This pattern is not only not healthy for you but also sucks for everyone around you. When your default reaction to frustration is to kick off, it’s a signal that your anger is a problem.

4. People walk on eggshells around you.

angry woman

Notice how people around you seem overly cautious? It’s probably because they’re trying to avoid setting you off. They might be nervous to bring up certain topics or to say anything that could potentially make you angry. This kind of tiptoeing by friends, family, or coworkers suggests that your anger is negatively affecting your relationships. It’s a sign that your anger might be more unmanageable than you realize.

5. You feel mad more often than not.

Husband and wife are arguing at home. Angry man is yelling at his wife.

Consider the amount of time you spend feeling angry. If the answer greatly overshadows literally every other emotion, you have a problem. It’s not normal or healthy to be mad more often than not. This constant state of agitation can take a toll on both your mental and physical health. You may need to seek some professional help to deal with this. (No shame in that!)

6. You don’t know how to communicate without getting angry.

colleagues working in chaotic environment

Every discussion seems to turn into an argument when you’re involved. Even simple conversations can escalate quickly into heated debates. You might find it hard to express yourself without getting angry, even about things that aren’t inherently upsetting. Your inability to have a calm, constructive conversation is a pretty clear indication that you have anger issues. Sort yourself out, bud!

7. You’re often filled with regret after an outburst

stressed man at work desk

After you’ve had time to cool down, you might look back at your angry outbursts and feel bad about them. You realize that you might have (okay, DEFINITELY) overreacted or said things you didn’t mean. This cycle of anger followed by regret indicates a lack of control over your emotions. It’s a pattern that not only causes stress for you but also damages your relationships over time. It’s so important to get a handle on this and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

8. Your physical health is… not great.

young couple arguing on couch

Chronic anger can start taking a toll on your physical health too, weirdly enough. You might have lots of headaches, high blood pressure, or even digestive issues from all that rage. It’s like your body is constantly in a fight-or-flight mode, which can lead to various health problems. If you’re noticing physical symptoms linked to your anger, it’s a clear sign that your body is not coping well.

9. You use your rage to intimidate people.

can dating a narcissist work

If you find yourself using your anger as a way to intimidate or control people, it’s a serious issue. This behavior can create a toxic environment, whether at home, work, or even in your friend group. It’s a form of manipulation and can lead to a breakdown in trust and respect in your relationships. You literally can’t keep doing that.

10. You can’t even let yourself admit you’re angry sometimes.

Young couple in fight, not talking to each other

Sometimes, you might be the last one to realize or admit you’re fuming. You might brush off your outbursts as being “passionate,” but denial is just a defense mechanism that keeps you from facing up to your anger issues. Acknowledging that you have a problem with anger is the first step in addressing it. If you can’t admit that, you need to do some more self-reflection.

11. You’re always cynical and negative.

Having a cynical or negative attitude is often a byproduct of unresolved anger. You always expect the worst in situations or people, and that means you get mad even quicker because you’re basically always anticipating conflict or disappointment. If your worldview has become predominantly cynical and you find it hard to enjoy things, it’s likely linked to underlying anger issues.

12. You feel like other people are always trying to provoke you.

couple fighting sitting on the sofa

You probably feel like people are deliberately trying to make you angry even though they’re really not. However, this feeling can make you defensive and you end up acting agrily in situations where no harm was intended. If you often feel like the victim of other people’s cruelty, it may be more about how you’re interpreting interactions rather than other people’s intentions.

13. Your relationships are becoming increasingly strained.

Couple arguing in the morning at home

If all of your relationships, both personal and professional, are starting to fall apart, it could be due to your anger. Friends may start distancing themselves, family tensions might rise, and you might face drama at work. Relationships are often the first casualties of unchecked anger. If this is happening, you need to act now before you mess things up even more.

Piper Ryan is a NYC-based writer and matchmaker who works to bring millennials who are sick of dating apps and the bar scene together in an organic and efficient way. To date, she's paired up more than 120 couples, many of whom have gone on to get married. Her work has been highlighted in The New York Times, Time Out New York, The Cut, and many more.

In addition to runnnig her own business, Piper is passionate about charity work, advocating for vulnerable women and children in her local area and across the country. She is currently working on her first book, a non-fiction collection of stories focusing on female empowerment.