13 Signs Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Actually Want To Be In A Relationship With You

You love your boyfriend, of course, but are you 100% sure that he’s on the same page and sees a future with you? He might already be checking out. You don’t want to waste your time on someone who isn’t completely committed to you and who doesn’t want to build a life with you, so if you notice these signs that he doesn’t actually want to be your boyfriend, you should get out ASAP.

  1. He looks bored. When you tell him about your day or you’re having dinner at a restaurant, the guy always looks around or checks his phone every five minutes. It’s like he wishes he could be anywhere else but with you. You may not be the most exciting person in the world, but you at least deserve his attention when you’re talking to him.
  2. There’s a delay in the conversation. You know when you’re on a video chat with someone and there’s an annoying delay? If your boyfriend takes ages to reply to your questions or something you’ve said, it can feel just like that. It’s like his mind’s so far away that he has to pull himself back into the conversation.
  3. He can’t commit to next Saturday’s party. He might be cool to see you for dinner tomorrow, but he can’t commit to seeing you next week, the week after, or next month. If this happens a lot, then he’s clearly not sure if he’s even still going to be with you by then.
  4. He forgets things. Did you have plans but he claims he “forgot”? Or, did he “forget” to call or text when he said he would? Yeah, whatever. The guy’s got relationship amnesia – in other words, you’re being forgotten because he longer sees you as one of his priorities.
  5. He doesn’t text anymore. You guys used to chat all the time, but now it’s like you have to initiate contact if you want to have a conversation. That’s not good. He’s slowly pulling away from you. This could be a way for him to test the waters before ending the relationship.
  6. He’s incredibly lazy. Is he always feeling tired and lazy to the point where he doesn’t want to go out on dates anymore? While you might think he’s just going through a strange time, it could be that he doesn’t want to make an effort in your relationship anymore.
  7. He doesn’t share. He used to tell you all about his latest news and you’d be the first one he’d call. But now he doesn’t seem to care about filling you in. You have to ask him stuff and even then he might not be forthcoming.
  8. He doesn’t notice things anymore. When someone checks out of the relationship, it will show in little ways. One of the big “little” signs is when they don’t notice things about you. He no longer compliments how gorgeous you look and he hardly notices when your eyes are red after a crying session.
  9. He’s not cleaning up for you. He doesn’t have to suit up for a date, but it helps if he’s still making an effort to look good for you. And it’s not just about his appearance. He should also be showing you how amazing he is instead of being “meh” about how he’s coming across. He’ll only do that when he doesn’t want to be in the relationship anymore.
  10. He never touches you. Touch isn’t just sexual. You should feel loved when you’re around your partner. While he might not be a big PDA fan, that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t want to be close to you, like by kissing you, holding your hand, and hugging you.
  11. His eyes can’t keep still. When you’re out with your guy, do you feel confident or totally insecure? If he’s always eyeing out other women, it can start to feel like he’s keener on being with someone else. But, it’s also a sign of disrespect. If he really cared about you, he wouldn’t do that.
  12. You can’t trust him. You have a feeling in your gut that you just can’t rely on your BF. Even though he keeps telling you that he’s trustworthy, you don’t feel like his actions match his words. For example, he might always be on his phone when you’re together or really secretive about his life. That’s not going to make you feel good or like your boyfriend wants to build a future with you.
  13. You’re not intimate. No, we’re not talking about sex right now. We’re talking about emotional intimacy. If the guy’s not keen on a future with you, he’s not going to want to connect on an emotional level. So, while the sex might be fantastic, it’s not enough of a sign that he wants to spend quality time with you and get real emotionally.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.