We all value intelligence in different ways, but when it crosses into snobbery, it can quietly sabotage friendships and connections. Thinking you’re smarter than everyone else might feel validating, but it can make you isolating and hard to relate to. Here are 13 signs you might be an intellectual snob—and why it’s stopping you from making real friendships.
1. You Think You’re Better Than People For Not Watching TV
It’s one thing to prefer books over binge-watching shows, but judging people because they enjoy a little TV time? That’s where intellectual snobbery kicks in. Pop culture is a shared language for many, and dismissing it as “low-brow” creates an unnecessary divide. You’re not automatically more sophisticated because you avoid reality shows or sitcoms, and looking down on those who enjoy them doesn’t exactly make you approachable. Psychology Today states, “According to research, watching TV can actually have positive effects on social bonding and emotional well-being when done in moderation.”
Friendships are about shared experiences, not competition over who’s spent less time with a remote in hand. Judging someone for their entertainment preferences might feel like harmless banter, but it signals that you’re more invested in being “better” than being connected. And let’s be real—sometimes, the best conversations happen over the latest episode of a trashy reality show.
2. You Judge People Based On The Books They Read
Sure, you might think that reading literary classics or philosophical essays sets you apart, but rolling your eyes when someone admits they love a good thriller or romance novel? That’s a red flag. People read for all kinds of reasons—entertainment, escapism, curiosity—and reducing someone’s intelligence based on their bookshelf just makes you come off as rigid and dismissive. The Guardian reports, “According to literary experts, reading for pleasure, regardless of genre, has been shown to improve empathy, social cognition, and emotional intelligence.”
Being well-read isn’t about ticking off the “intellectual” titles. It’s about curiosity, empathy, and the willingness to explore different perspectives. If you’re side-eyeing someone because they prefer Colleen Hoover over Kafka, you’re missing out on connecting with people who might have way more to offer than just a shared taste in literature.
3. You Assume People Who Haven’t Gone To College Are Dumb
There are plenty of brilliant people who never set foot on a college campus. Assuming that a degree is the ultimate marker of intelligence isn’t just wrong—it’s downright elitist. Life experience, emotional intelligence, and creativity don’t come with diplomas, and writing someone off because they don’t have a formal education limits your view of who’s worth knowing. Forbes argues, “According to education experts, success and intelligence are not solely determined by formal education, as many successful entrepreneurs and innovators have thrived without college degrees.”
Friendship is about connecting with people’s experiences and insights, not checking off credentials. When you value curiosity and empathy over academic accolades, you open the door to relationships that are richer and more meaningful. Some of the smartest people are self-taught, and dismissing them because of their educational background says more about your limitations than theirs.
4. You Judge People Based On Their Job
Not everyone is chasing a corner office or a PhD. Some people find fulfillment in jobs that don’t come with impressive titles, and that doesn’t make them any less interesting—or intelligent. Judging someone based on what they do for work not only screams snobbery but also ignores the complexity of what makes someone valuable. Harvard Business Review suggests, “According to workplace studies, job satisfaction and personal fulfillment are often more closely tied to an individual’s sense of purpose than to their specific job title or industry.”
Being genuinely interested in someone’s life means looking beyond their job description. People are more than their careers, and connecting over shared humor, stories, and experiences will always be more fulfilling than bonding over LinkedIn profiles. If you’re writing people off because they don’t have what you consider an “intellectual” job, you’re missing out on real friendships.
5. You Act Personally Offended When Someone Is Up To Date With Pop Culture
There’s a difference between not being interested in pop culture and acting like it’s beneath you. If you find yourself rolling your eyes when someone mentions the latest celebrity drama or trending meme, ask yourself why it bothers you so much. Is it really about taste, or is it about needing to feel superior?
Pop culture is how people connect and communicate. You don’t have to love it, but dismissing it entirely can make you seem cold and disconnected. Being open to these conversations doesn’t mean abandoning your values; it means understanding what makes people tick. And being curious about what excites someone is never a waste of time.
6. You Secretly Judge People Who Watch Reality TV
Not everyone is spending their evenings with documentaries and foreign films. And that’s okay. Reality TV might not be intellectually stimulating, but it’s relatable, entertaining, and a cultural phenomenon for a reason. If you’re secretly judging someone’s taste because they watch *The Bachelor* or *Love Island*, you’re projecting unnecessary superiority.
Judging people for their entertainment choices only makes you seem dismissive and disconnected. Everyone needs a little escapism, and sometimes that comes in the form of watching strangers fight over roses. Letting people enjoy things, even if you don’t, can go a long way in making you more approachable and relatable.
7. Your Eyes Glaze Over When You Don’t Find The Conversation Interesting
If you find yourself mentally checking out when the conversation isn’t intellectually stimulating, that’s a problem. Not every discussion needs to be about politics, philosophy, or high-brow art. Sometimes people just want to talk about their pets, weekend plans, or favorite shows—and those conversations matter, too.
Connection comes from listening and engaging, not from steering every interaction toward topics you deem worthy. If you only perk up when the conversation shifts to your areas of expertise, you risk alienating people who just wanted to share a laugh or a simple moment. Friendships are built on shared experiences, not intellectual debates.
8. You Think Small Talk Is For People Who Aren’t Intelligent
Small talk isn’t a sign of shallow thinking—it’s a social lubricant that helps people feel comfortable and connected. Writing off casual conversations as pointless or beneath you only makes you seem unapproachable. Sometimes, it’s the smallest chats that lead to the deepest friendships.
Talking about the weather, favorite coffee shops, or how your weekend went isn’t about wasting time—it’s about finding common ground. It shows you’re interested in people’s lives, not just their opinions on high-concept topics. If you can’t engage in small talk, you might be missing out on some of the most genuine connections.
9. You Bore People With Your Niche Interests
It’s great to be passionate about what you love, but if you’re dominating every conversation with niche topics that no one else relates to, you risk isolating yourself. People don’t want to feel like they’re sitting through a lecture—they want to feel included and engaged.
Being intellectually curious is amazing, but friendship is about give and take. If you find yourself monologuing about your latest academic rabbit hole, pause and check if anyone’s still with you. Listening is just as important as sharing, and making space for others’ interests helps build better, deeper friendships.
10. You Drop Big Words Just To Prove You Know Them
There’s a difference between speaking naturally and throwing around complex words just to sound impressive. If you’re choosing the most obscure terminology in every conversation, it might be less about your vocabulary and more about needing validation.
Real connection doesn’t require a thesaurus. It requires authenticity. If people feel like they need a dictionary to keep up with you, they’re less likely to stick around. Using language as a barrier instead of a bridge makes you seem closed off and condescending. Speak in a way that invites connection, not confusion.
11. You Assume Anyone Who Disagrees With You Just Doesn’t Get It
If your first instinct when someone disagrees with you is to assume they’re misinformed or less intelligent, that’s a red flag. People can hold different opinions and still be thoughtful, informed, and smart. Writing someone off just because they don’t see things your way limits your ability to connect.
Healthy friendships thrive on curiosity and empathy. Disagreement isn’t a sign of stupidity—it’s a sign of different experiences and perspectives. Listening with an open mind is how you grow, and it’s how you build deeper, more meaningful relationships.
12. You Think People Who Don’t Read Non-Fiction Are Wasting Their Time
There’s nothing wrong with loving non-fiction, but dismissing fiction readers as shallow or wasting their time is short-sighted. Fiction has the power to explore emotions, spark empathy, and challenge worldviews in ways that statistics and facts simply can’t. People don’t read just to be informed—they read to feel, to escape, and to imagine. Reducing reading to an intellectual exercise strips it of the creativity and emotion that makes it meaningful.
Some of the deepest conversations stem from a shared love of stories, characters, and emotional experiences. If you judge people for not reading what you consider “serious” books, you’re closing yourself off from conversations that could challenge and expand your thinking. Appreciating diverse reading habits shows curiosity, and curiosity is the cornerstone of real connection.
13. You Put People Into ‘Smart’ Or ‘Dumb’ Categories
Labeling people as “smart” or “dumb” is one of the most isolating mindsets you can have. Intelligence is complex and multi-dimensional. Just because someone doesn’t match your idea of smartness doesn’t mean they don’t have valuable insights or life experiences to share. People can be wise, creative, emotionally intelligent, or incredibly knowledgeable about topics you know nothing about.
Friendships thrive when you approach people with curiosity, not judgment. If you automatically write someone off because they don’t fit into your intellectual standards, you’re likely missing out on meaningful connections. Being open to different perspectives is how you build trust, empathy, and genuine friendship. No one wants to feel like they’re being silently evaluated in every conversation.
