13 Signs You’re In A Love-Hate Relationship

No couple gets along 24/7, but you should at least have some level of harmony if your connection is a healthy one. A love-hate relationship is one that’s built on mixed messages, ups and downs, and uneven terrain. The highs are high, but the lows can be disastrous. Here are 13 signs you’re in one.

  1. There’s no stability. Your relationship isn’t consistent or stable in any way, from your feelings for the person to where you’re headed in the future as a couple (if there’s even a joint future to begin with). The main reason for this is because you’re not on the same page.
  2. You’re still “hanging out” after all this time. If you’re stuck in the “hanging out” phase with your partner and you’ve been there for a while, that’s a huge sign that your relationship probably doesn’t have a future. No wonder you’re having such love-hate feelings. You and your partner are stuck in a small room and there’s no way out.
  3. You’re in love, but Your partner has many traits you absolutely adore, but there are other parts of them that just miss the mark when it comes to what you want in a loving relationship. This is part of the reason why your relationship is so over the place.
  4. Your communication is a mess. One of the reasons why you’re in such a drama-filled relationship is because you and your partner don’t really connect. You don’t open up to each other and talk about what you want. Or, you try to talk but you always end up in a fight.
  5. Your relationship is on-again, off-again. What contributes to the drama in your relationship is that you and your partner keep breaking up when you have a big fight and making up a few hours or days later, only to repeat the whole process later. This brings a lot of drama to your doorstep.
  6. You feel anxious during good times. Whether you’re on an amazing holiday with your partner or you’re just going through a great time with them, you don’t trust the happiness. You’re always waiting for the next big fight or criticism or letdown to throw your mood.
  7. You’re talking your BFFs’ ears off. Instead of talking to your partner about what’s bugging you, you tend to reach out to your besties. You complain about your relationship a lot, and that could be because of how you’re in a loop. Things don’t get resolved in your relationship or you don’t want to face that it should come to an end.
  8. Your feelings are all over the place. When you’re with your partner, they usually piss you off or you end up fighting. But then when you’re not with them you miss them like crazy. Ugh!
  9. Your connection is flimsy. You don’t have a real connection with your partner that’s built on emotional intimacy. You might be with them for superficial reasons, such as because of the intense physical connection and spark you experienced when you first met.
  10. You worry about your socials. While your relationship might be a total mess in private, when you post about your relationship on Facebook or Instagram, you feel good about it. This could mean that you wish you could live your romantic relationship in the virtual world all the time, and it really shows that you’re not happy in your real life. You HAVE to do something about that.
  11. You fantasize about other people. Do you find that you sometimes imagine what life would be like if you had to date other people? If these thoughts come to mind a lot, you need to take stock of your feelings for your partner. Are they really enough if you’re not happy most of the time?
  12. You’re trying to change your partner. You love your partner when they do certain things or behave in a certain way, and you wish they could be that way all the time. So, you might try to change them, such as by fixing what you consider to be their negative traits. Don’t waste your time. You can’t fix anyone except yourself.
  13. You’re in a rut. The highs feel amazing and the lows are a nightmare. But in-between, you’re always trying to fix things or put the pieces of your relationship back together. Take a step back from the relationship and you’ll see that just because it’s so intense, it doesn’t mean that you’re moving forward or growing. It’s really just a distraction in your life right now.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.