13 Signs You’ve Finally Found “The One” After All This Time

Whether your idea of happily ever after involves wedding bells or simply a shared Netflix account, it can be hard to tell the difference between a whirlwind romance and everlasting love. If you’re hesitant to go all-in or want to be sure you’ve found yourself a keeper, there are a few things to look for. Here are 13 signs you’ve finally found “The One.”

You’re happy. This might sound obvious, but you’ll know you’re with the right person if your default emotion is a positive one. Sure, school, work, and everyday life are natural sources of stress and anxiety, but your relationship shouldn’t be. But if you’ve got the right person by your side, outside annoyances will turn to background noise and the support you’ve got from your SO will make you better equipped to tackle them head-on.

They genuinely listen to you. This includes everything from surprising you at Christmas with the book you mentioned back in September to putting the phone down when they ask about your day. The right person for you will make you feel like the center of their world when you’re having a conversation.

They respect your privacy. Couples share a lot of things, but “the one” will allow and even encourage you to keep some things to yourself. This means they’re not asking to read your texts, thumbing through your diary, or talking to your friends to get information on you. They trust you and your relationship enough to give you space when you need it.

Planning the future feels natural. Maybe you’ve got a family wedding coming up or are trying to nail down vacation plans six months in advance. In any case, you don’t think twice about including your partner in your plans because you’re confident you’ll still be going strong when the event rolls around. All of the “if”s turn to “when”s and you even look forward to planning the future together.

They’ve seen you at your worst. Your girlfriend or boyfriend might have stood by your side as you recovered from a night of too many tequila shots or witnessed your stress-induced breakdown. Whatever the case may be, they’re definitely a keeper if they’ve loved you through your lowest of lows. The right person won’t pass judgment and will even help lighten your emotional burdens.

They’re your biggest cheerleader. It’s one thing to support a person through the hard times, but quite another to cheer them on during the good ones. “The One” will never downplay your success and always celebrate your accomplishments. They certainly won’t be blinded by jealousy and will even brag on your behalf.

You’ve got a good relationship with their family. Winning over the in-laws is never easy, but if you’re on good terms with your partner’s parents or siblings, you can bet you’re with the right person. After all, when you commit to someone, you’re also committing to their family. If you’ve been added to the family group chat, it’s safe to say you and your S.O. are in it for the long term.

They get along with your friends. It can be hard to balance your romantic and social life and all the more so if your friends aren’t crazy about your partner and vice-versa. A great sign of your compatibility with your boyfriend or girlfriend is their ability to make your friends their own. When you can all hang out without any drama you know you’ve got something worth holding on to.

You’ve fought (and made up). Just like marathon runners need to build their endurance with high-intensity workouts, so do relationships need a little resistance to go the distance. It’s actually a good thing if you and your partner have had a handful of fights–and resolved them in a healthy way. Every argument and every compromise has made your relationship stronger, richer and, ultimately, happier.

You’ve both been vulnerable. You’re with the right person if you and your partner have both opened up about your fears, insecurities, and romantic expectations. Vulnerability requires courage and a whole lot of trust, two essential ingredients for long-lasting companionship.

They don’t lie to you. Honesty. Is. Everything. Messing up is part of what makes us human, but a relationship built on lies won’t last long. If your guy or girl is able to come clean about their mistakes, they won’t let their ego get in the way of your relationship. No shady behavior here.

They still surprise you. It’s normal to lose those initial butterflies once the honeymoon period comes to an end. As you spend more and more time with your partner, it’s likely their behavior will become increasingly predictable. However, if they make an effort to surprise you with Post-it notes on the bathroom mirror, a carton of your favorite ice-cream at the end of a long day, or, for those in LDRs, an unplanned visit, your relationship is solid.

They’ve helped you grow. Whether it’s by encouraging you to speak your mind or to apply to your dream job, the right person will allow you to grow into the best version of yourself. This doesn’t mean they’ve changed your fundamental values (if so, he or she is not the one for you!), but rather they’ve given you the confidence to develop individually which will only make your couple that much stronger.

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