13 Things Alpha Women Understand About Love

Alpha women have experienced a lot of heartbreak. Our confidence took a while to build up and that’s why we don’t accept just any kind of love. Love should be simple and fierce. It shouldn’t be lackluster and uninspiring. Our understanding of love is different because we know what we deserve. It’s not that we cracked the code, but we kind of have. Here are some important things we understand.

  1. Not everyone is going to love you back. You can love someone with your whole heart but that doesn’t mean they’ll love you back. That’s why alpha women are so careful with our emotions. We don’t give our heart away to someone who wouldn’t cherish it. We make sure the people we invest in will stick around.
  2. You have to know your worth. We have healthy self-esteem that took years building up. And because we know our worth, we don’t settle for anything below what we deserve. There are too many people in this world. Why would we pick someone who doesn’t meet our standards?
  3. It’s OK to be selfish. Alpha women speak up when we’re unhappy with our partners. We don’t repress our emotions to keep the peace. Some people might think it’s selfish, but we put our happiness first. If we’re not happy, how are our partners going to be happy?
  4. You have to give love to get love. You can’t be a jerk and have a successful relationship. It doesn’t work that way. Alphas don’t always give off the most positive vibes, but we know how to be nice and respectful. To get love, we have to give it. That’s why we put our judgmental behavior aside for the ones we love.
  5. It’s easy to be deceived. Love can be blinding. There are so many manipulative sweet talkers out there. It’s hard to stay woke. Alpha women ask questions on the first, second, third date. We find out early on whether someone has a plan for us or just wants to play with us.
  6. Sometimes you have to say no. The second we realize someone’s not for us, we cut ties. Alpha women don’t make sub-par relationships work. We don’t stick around to find out if someone can change, and we definitely don’t waste time on a guy who already disappointed us once. We say no and keep it moving.
  7. Love takes time. You can’t rush love. It’s hard to watch people get married and have kids, but it takes time to find the perfect match. We’d rather wait than date someone who’s wrong for us, wouldn’t you?
  8. You have to love yourself first. You’ve heard this before, but do you actually believe it? You should! To feel love from someone else, you have to love yourself first. This is why self-care is so crucial. We pamper and tend to our every need because we know it’s the only way to find true love.
  9. Love isn’t demanding. Alpha women have demanding personalities. We want what we want and that’ll never change. But love is patient, not demanding. We know we can’t force our partners to do what we want—at least not all the time.
  10. You can’t hold grudges. The sad reality is no one’s perfect. We want our partners to meet our expectations, but we know there are times when they’ll fall short. We have to be mature about that. No matter how much we might want to, we can’t hold grudges (unless they make a habit of screwing us over).
  11. Honesty is key. Alpha women are brutally honest, not because we want to hurt your feelings but because we know the only way love works is if there’s open communication. That’s why we express our thoughts and don’t apologize for doing so. We look for partners who love our honesty and consider it one of our best characteristics.
  12. You have to compromise. Alpha women don’t necessarily like the “newness” of relationships. It takes us a while to get used to everything. Showing affection in public and paying attention to our partners’ needs doesn’t come naturally but we know the importance of compromise. For relationships to work, we have to do things we hate sometimes. Of course, we expect our partners to make the same sacrifice for us sometimes.
  13. Love is simple. Love shouldn’t be messy. It shouldn’t consist of two people over-thinking everything and going out of their way to play games. It should consist of two people who feel secure in themselves and don’t need constant reassurance. Alpha women know that love, real love, should feel easy and effortless.
Jordan White is a writer based in Scottsdale, Arizona with more than 8 years of experience. She graduated from Northern Arizona University with a degree in Rhetoric and Creative Writing in 2015 and while there, she wrote for The Daily Wildcat. She has since written for sites including FanBread, and, of course, Bolde. You can find about more her on Facebook. She has a passion for giving her audience something to laugh about and despises the heat more than anything.