13 Things To Know Before Dating A Strong, Independent Woman

Although a strong, independent woman can seem intimidating, especially, if you’ve never dated one, they’re actually the best women to be in a relationship with – not only because they now who they are, but they’re not going to have some sort of emotional breakdown just because you don’t call exactly when you say you would. We may be dating you and we may even love you, but we’re not going to sit around waiting for you either.

So, if you’ve met a woman and she’s clearly strong, independent, and maybe puts even a little bit of fear in your because she is so badass, here’s what you to know before you go down that road. It’s always best to be prepared when dealing with a woman who has her act together.

  1. We have standards. This doesn’t mean you need to be a billionaire who looks like Ryan Gosling, but it does mean you have to have your act together and respect us. We’re not going to be your mom, your babysitter, or your financial provider.
  2. We will never, ever put up with anyone’s BS. Whether it’s you, your friends, or some jerk on the subway, we don’t stand for it.
  3. We want you, but we’ll never need you. It’s when people start to need other people that things go sour. If you can recognize the difference between “want” and “need,” you can avoid stumbling into the conventional trappings that bog down so many others.
  4. You’ll never be number one. It’s not because we don’t love you, but family and friends come first. Sorry.
  5. We’re not needy. Needy people are usually insecure. We don’t do insecure. We figure if you want to stray and cheat on us, then that’s your loss. Why should we waste our time worrying about it and pulling the needy card?
  6. We don’t have an ounce of desperation in our bones. Desperation is an ugly quality, especially when it comes to desperately wanting another human being. It’s just not our scene.
  7. Sometimes we’ll go MIA and you’ll just have to deal with it. You don’t own us and we owe you nothing. Our alone time is necessary. So… gotta go now. Be back in a bit.
  8. We say exactly how we feel. Yes, it might hurt like hell sometimes but it’s way better than lying and saying nothing or that everything is “fine,” when it really isn’t.
  9. We don’t play games. Unless it’s board games, of course.
  10. We have a three strikes rule. You do not get multiple chances to bounce back from your screw-ups with us. In fact, three strikes are more than generous.
  11. We have our own lives that might not always include you. But don’t take it personally! We had a life before you, we’ll have a life after you, and even during this life beside you, sometimes you’re just not invited.
  12. We don’t settle. Our independence and strength makes it so we’d rather be alone for the right reasons, than be with someone who doesn’t deserve us for the wrong reasons.
  13. We’ll always love ourselves more. I mean you’re great, but at the end of the day, everyone only has themselves to count on and we know whose back to have: Our own.
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.
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