13 Things He Does That Seem Charming But Are Actually Signs He’s Not Feeling It

A little bit of charm goes a long way when it comes to dating. Unfortunately, those seemingly endearing behaviors aren’t always a positive thing. Before you fall for him, keep in mind that all that charm might be his way of letting you down easy, especially if he exhibits these qualities.

  1. He’s got that whole mysterious thing going on. Holding a few things back in the early days of a relationship might sometimes be for the best, like detailed descriptions of athlete’s foot or pet names for exes. However, if getting any meaningful information out of your love interest is like getting blood from a stone, he may not actually be that interested in sharing with you.
  2. He’s almost a little TOO hard to get. The guys who aren’t easily attainable may seem cool at first, but let’s be honest, they’re rarely “gotten” at all. If someone is really interested in you, he’s unlikely to risk losing you by playing hot and cold. If he’s not making himself available to be taken by you it’s because he doesn’t want to be.
  3. He gives you endless amounts of compliments. Most of us are suckers for a good ol’ compliment, especially if it’s particularly thoughtful or shows that our crush has taken notice of something unique about us. Still, if he likes to ply you with shallow or meaningless compliments, especially if this replaces proper conversation, he may just be telling you what he thinks you want to here rather than showing genuine appreciation.
  4. He’s all about living in the moment. He’s all about being spontaneous. He likes doing things off the cuff or with no notice and that’s great, but if you can’t get him to plan anything in the future, he may not really be planning for a future with you in it.
  5. He constantly refers to you by pet names. Calling your significant other a pet name can be a perfect way to bond and show affection, though if you find your crush using the same pet name with other people, you might want to reconsider what’s going on. He may be calling you a pet name that he uses with his friends to signal that you have more of a platonic relationship. Or, he may call everyone pet names because he’s that much of a flirt…
  6. He’s a master joker. For many of us, there’s nothing more attractive than a good sense of humor, and having a good giggle with your S.O. once in a while can solve all kinds of problems. However, if all you get are punchlines and jokes from your crush every time you try to start a serious conversation, he may be distancing themselves from sharing anything deeper with you. If you’re looking for a laugh, perfect; if you’re searching for something meaningful, it’s not so good.
  7. You never argue because he’s just that agreeable. No one likes arguments but that doesn’t mean they’re always a bad thing. In a lot of cases, arguing is a sign that you’re willing to talk a problem over and fix it. If he won’t have an argument with you about something important, he’s not really interested in fixing the problem. Likewise, if he seems agreeable to anything you suggest 100% of the time, he either needs a backbone or some opinions of his own.
  8. He’s constantly apologizing. A partner that apologizes when they’re wrong and means it is delightful. Someone that repeatedly makes the same mistakes and gives half-hearted apologies, however, is a big old nope. If your crush keeps on doing the same old things to hurt you and solves it with a simple “sorry,” he really isn’t interested in changing his hurtful behavior.
  9. He takes the lead on absolutely everything. If you like to be looked after, there’s no harm in having a partner who takes the lead in the relationship. However, if you find he wants to be in control at every corner with little regard for your feelings, that’s not a good sign. In fact, this kind of guy may be more interested in being in charge than the relationship itself.
  10. He’s always sharing the details of his own life but isn’t interested in yours. If your love interest is an open book, you’re well on the way to getting to know him better. However, if he never asks you anything about yourself or doesn’t show a real interest in your life, you may just be a glorified therapist for him. Yuck.
  11. Everyone says how nice he is all the time but you don’t see it. The whole world may say he’s nice, but if he’s not nice to you, he’s not nice enough! Ladies, don’t feel that you should be charmed by what everyone else says about a guy if you’re not seeing that side of him.
  12. He always comes to your place but you’ve never received an invitation to his. He may come over at the drop of a hat, but if he refuses to invite you over to his place, he may not really want to let you into his life (or he might live in his parents’ basement, which you’d still want to know about).
  13. He doesn’t make you compromise. Sure, it would be lovely if we didn’t have to go out with his strange work friends or go to dull events that we’re not interested in, but relationships are about give and take. Asking you to be involved is a good sign. You two are meant to be together, for better or for worse. If he’s not bothered about you being there, he’s not bothered about you at all.
Isabelle is a freelance writer from Leeds, England. She enjoys discovering hidden cafes and getting lost on her bicycle (often not on purpose).