13 Things That Suck About Having Kids

Kids are great, and they can make you happy in ways you never imagined was possible if starting a family is something you want. However, there are also some surprising downsides that come with being a parent you should know about before you decide to become one:

  1. You’ll be late pretty much everywhere. Once you have kids, forget about being Miss Punctual. You’ll be late everywhere because it will take you ages to get your kids ready in the morning or settle them down with food, toys, a babysitter, and so on before you’re able to leave the house. Good luck with letting them tag along. It’ll feel like you’re going on vacation with all the bags of their things you have to carry.
  2. You’ll miss weekends when you could get up late. You used to want to get up early on weekends to do fun stuff like catch up on your favorite TV shows or veg on the couch. Sometimes you’d feel guilty for sleeping in. After having a baby, you’ll want to kick yourself for that guilt because you’ll never get to sleep in again. Your kids will be your alarm and they’ll wake you up at horribly early hours all the time.
  3. You’ll have to depend on your partner in ways you never imagined. No, it’s not about money — it’s about emotional support, and you’re going to need that from your partner during your pregnancy and after the baby is born. You might not be with a partner who is actually supportive, which can be a nightmare.
  4. You’ll never have control over the TV remote. Forget about watching TV after a really busy day. Your kids will want to watch their favorite cartoons over and over and over again until you want to find Barney and stab him. So long, Netflix marathons.
  5. Your pets will get downgraded. They used to be your furry babies, now they’re just these bacteria-infested, fluffy things that can cause harm to your baby. Or they’ll just become pets who don’t get enough of your attention anymore because it all goes to your kids.
  6. Your wardrobe will be devoid of color. Remember those gorgeous designer items you used to love to wear and those pale, pretty items that you were so careful not to get dirty? Yeah, say goodbye to them. Around your kids, you’ll soon learn to wear dark colors and fabrics that are easy to clean puke and drool off without them getting damaged.
  7. You can’t take a sick day, even when you really need it. You might have bronchitis but your kids won’t realize what that means. You’ll still have to pull yourself out of bed and tend to them. If you have a supportive partner, hopefully they can help out a bit, but still, parenting is a 24/7/365 job.
  8. Your relationship will become stressed. You might have visions of you and your partner bonding over the life you’ve helped to create together, but once your screaming, crying, demanding baby arrives, you can kiss those romantic notions goodbye along with the idea that you’ll be having great sex again. A baby brings stress to your relationship, no matter how strong it is, and you and your partner will both be exhausted and drained most of the time.
  9. You won’t be able to stick to your diet. It will be impossible to stick to a low-cal diet when your kids want ice cream or fries after you promised them a treat because you’ll want to have some too. Sometimes, you’ll end up eating junk food because you don’t have the time or energy to make something healthier.
  10. You’ll have a broken heart all the time. Kids will break your heart with how cute they are and how they’ll make you feel love so intensely, it will frighten the hell out of you. As they grow older, you’ll have to endure letting them go out in the world, which will turn you into an emotional, anxious, paranoid mess. Remember that ex who called you “crazy”? Yeah, he had no idea just how crazy you could become. Thanks, kids.
  11. Your body could suffer permanent changesIt’s not just about those stretch marks and pregnancy scars. You might also get bigger feet and a bigger nose, which are rare but caused from hormonal changes as well as pregnancy weight. Another thing you might face are saggy, small breasts. Yes, your breasts might get smaller from the changes your body undergoes. FML.
  12. People will still judge you. If you think that once you’ve settled down and had kids, society will stop bugging you or judging you, you’re so wrong. Sure, you won’t have to deal with those “When are you going to have a child?” questions, but they’ll have new ones for you. For example, “When is your child going to learn to suck through a straw on her own?” or “When will you book your child into school?” and “Don’t you feel guilty for letting your child eat that pudding?” It will never end and most days, you’ll feel like a bad mom.
  13. Your neat life? Say goodbye to that. If you love being clean and tidy, you’re going to hate what kids will do to your pristine life. They’ll leave toys on the stairs, spill things, walk through the house with muddy shoes, break things, and use things without putting them back where they found them. It’s enough to drive you nuts. Even if you try to clean religiously (which will be tough when you have to run after kids all day), your home will always end up dirty and messy.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.