13 Things You Do When You’re Crushing Hard On A Guy

Love can make you nuts. You have this intense need to find out everything you can about the guy you’re dating and if he’s worthy of your attention. Here are 13 things you might do but would never admit to:

  1. Google stalk him You look him up on the Internet but not just by searching his name — that’s just the start. You also hit up his social media profiles, his LinkedIn, even the homepage for an old inactive Fantasy Football league he used to be part of. You don’t mean to spend three hours stalking him online but somehow, it just happens.
  2. Search for his exes on Facebook He mentioned that he’s still friends with an ex on Facebook, so you go on and find her. You have to know what she looked like and if she’s pretty. You also want to be sure she’s married off with five children and living in Alaska so that she won’t be a threat.
  3. Take a picture of him when he’s sleeping Okay, it sounds creepy but it’s not really. He just looks so beautiful and the way the light is shining on his face makes him look angelic. It’s especially awkward if you forget to silence your phone and the clicking camera sound wakes him up. Oops.
  4. Pretend to forget to return his things He gave you his cozy jacket and you “forget” to give it back to him at the end of the date. You just want to snuggle up with the item that smells like his delicious fragrance. Yum.
  5. Geek out when you discover mutual interests He doesn’t mention this on your first date, but when you check him out on social media, you find that you both love iguanas. OMG. You have to find a way to talk about this on your next date without him being suspicious of you.
  6. Practice conversations You imagine full dates with him and run through possible questions he’ll ask you so you can sound confident and interesting. It might sound weird, but it’s just like prepping for a business interview. If your roommate comes home early and asks who you’re talking to, you just pretend you’d been on the phone with someone.
  7. Get a makeover before a date You want him to think you always dress like this and look amazing. He’d never know that you bought a whole new outfit, got your hair done at the salon and found a new signature perfume before the date so that you could look and feel your best. Hey, it’s all about feeling confident and making a great impression.
  8. Cancel seeing your friends because he’s available Okay, it sucks to push away your friends in favor of seeing the new guy you’re dating, but you can’t help it this time. So when he says he’s free for a quick bite to eat, you can’t resist dropping everything to meet up with him. Of course, you’d never tell him this.
  9. Take snapshots of your romantic conversations You take snapshots of sweet and romantic things he’s said to you during texting. It’s just so nice to remember these things and how much you mean to him. And yes, sometimes you do re-read them.
  10. Check if he’s online when he hasn’t texted you When it’s been hours since you sent him a text and he still hasn’t answered, you worry. Did something happen to him or his phone? You go on social media to check if he’s posted anything or if he’s been online on Facebook. It’s just a way to know that he was okay. If he’s online, you’re mad that he hasn’t had the decency to text you, but you can’t confront him about it because you’d seem like an idiot.
  11. Describe yourself as “chill” and “easygoing” When you meet him, you’re quick to reassure him you’re certainly not a silly person like his ex. Sure, you might be a little clingy at times, but you’re not going to admit that to a guy on a first date! Hell no.
  12. Find excuses to touch him You want to get closer to your delicious crush but you don’t want to make the first move. So instead, you end up trying to sit closer to him when you’re at a restaurant or you pretend you can read palms just to touch his manly hand. It might feel stupid, but you can’t help it.
  13. Check out his penis Of course, getting an STD and HIV test is crucial to know for sure that the guy you’re dating is healthy, but you’ve checked out penises in the past to be extra sure. You’re checking for any bumps, lumps, and rashes while he thinks you’re staring and touching because you like his penis so much. Um, sure.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.