Some people add value to your life, lifting you up and making your days brighter. Others? They drain your energy, test your patience, and leave you wondering why you even bother. If you constantly feel exhausted, frustrated, or undervalued after spending time with someone, it might be time to reconsider their place in your life. Here are 13 toxic personalities that aren’t worth your time—or your sanity.
1. The Person Who Has A Sob Story For Everything
Every time you talk to them, they have a new tragedy to share. Their boss is out to get them, their friends are always betraying them, and life just never seems to go their way. At first, you might feel sorry for them and want to help, but over time, you realize they’re not looking for solutions—just sympathy. No matter how much you offer advice or encouragement, nothing ever changes because they thrive on being the victim. As reported by Psychology Today, individuals who constantly share sob stories may be engaging in “emotional dumping,” which can strain relationships and leave listeners feeling drained.
Cutting ties with this type doesn’t mean you lack empathy. It means you recognize that true friendships are built on mutual support, not one-sided emotional dumping. You’re not responsible for carrying their burdens, especially when they seem to enjoy the weight of them.
2. The Person Who’s Always In The Midst Of A Crisis
They live their life in full-blown panic mode. One day, their relationship is on the verge of collapse. The next, they’re quitting their job without a backup plan. The drama never stops, and somehow, you always get dragged into it. At first, you might admire their passion or feel compelled to help, but eventually, you realize they create chaos wherever they go. According to Science of People, people who are constantly in crisis but won’t fix their issues can be classified as “Drama Magnets.”
Thriving means learning to step back and let people handle their own messes. You don’t need to be their emotional first responder every time their world falls apart—especially when their decisions are the reason it keeps happening.
3. The Person Who Only Calls When They’re Driving
They never seem to have time for you—until they need to kill time in traffic. Suddenly, they remember you exist and want to “catch up.” You’re not someone they genuinely want to connect with; you’re just a way to pass the time between errands. If you try to reach out on your own terms, though? Radio silence. Psychology Today suggests that friends who only reach out when it’s convenient for them may be exhibiting signs of a one-sided friendship. These relationships often leave one person feeling undervalued and can be detrimental to self-esteem over time.
Healthy friendships require effort on both sides. If someone only reaches out when it’s convenient for them, they don’t truly value your presence in their life. You deserve friends who make time for you intentionally, not just as a last-minute distraction.
4. The Person Who’s A Closeted Control Freak
They disguise their need for control as “helping” or “offering suggestions,” but really, they want everything done their way. They subtly pressure you to dress a certain way, make choices that benefit them, or adopt their opinions as your own. If you push back, they make you feel like you’re being difficult or irrational. The American Psychological Association reports that controlling behavior in friendships can be a form of emotional manipulation. While often disguised as helpfulness, this behavior can undermine autonomy and lead to an unhealthy power dynamic within the relationship.
A real friend respects your autonomy. You’re not an extension of them, and your choices don’t need to align with theirs. If someone can’t handle you thinking for yourself, they’re not looking for a friend—they’re looking for a follower.
5. The Person Who’s Secretly In Competition With You
Every success you share is met with a “one-up” story about how they’ve done something bigger, better, or faster. Instead of celebrating your wins, they subtly (or not so subtly) try to remind you that they’re ahead. They might act supportive on the surface, but deep down, they see you as a rival, not a friend.
Friendships shouldn’t feel like a competition. If someone can’t be happy for you without turning it into a comparison, they’re not truly rooting for you. A healthy friend wants to see you succeed—without needing to prove that they’re doing better.
6. The Person Who’s Always Got A Negative Word To Say
No matter what’s happening, they find a way to complain about it. If you tell them good news, they’ll find a downside. If you’re excited about a new opportunity, they’ll warn you about all the ways it could go wrong. Spending time with them feels like carrying around a storm cloud.
Negativity is contagious. If someone constantly drags your mood down, it’s time to limit your exposure. You don’t need to be surrounded by people who make you question whether anything is worth getting excited about.
7. The Person Who’s A Master Guilt Tripper
They know exactly how to make you feel bad for setting boundaries. If you say no to plans, they act like you’ve personally offended them. If you express a different opinion, they guilt you into agreeing with them. Somehow, you always end up doing things their way—because the alternative is dealing with their passive-aggressive sulking.
A real friend respects your right to make decisions for yourself. If someone uses guilt to control you, they don’t care about your feelings—they care about maintaining power over you. The sooner you stop playing into their tactics, the sooner they lose their hold on you.
8. The Person Who Wants To Act Like Your Parent
They constantly correct you, lecture you, and make you feel like you need their approval. Even if you didn’t ask for advice, they give it anyway—usually in a condescending tone. They act like they know what’s best for you, even when you’re perfectly capable of making your own choices.
Respect in friendships goes both ways. You’re an adult, and you don’t need someone trying to “raise” you. A good friend supports you without trying to control you.
9. The Person Who Only Ever Calls When They Want To Go Out
They’re the life of the party, but only when it suits them. They don’t check in when you’re struggling, they’re nowhere to be found when you need support, and they’re not interested in real conversations. They only reach out when they want to go out, drink, or have a good time.
True friendship goes beyond partying. If someone only includes you in their life when it’s fun for them, they’re not a real friend—they’re a social convenience.
10. The Person Who’s Obsessed With Male Attention
Every interaction is about impressing or attracting men. Even when it’s just the two of you, they steer the conversation toward their latest crush or how they turned heads at the bar. If a guy enters the room, they act like you’re invisible. Their self-worth is tied to male validation, and they expect you to play a supporting role in their ongoing quest for attention.
A friendship shouldn’t revolve around one person’s insecurities. If someone consistently prioritizes external validation over real connection, they’re not emotionally available for a real friendship.
11. The Person Who Brings Up Your Past Mistakes
No matter how much you’ve grown, they refuse to let you move on from who you used to be. They bring up embarrassing moments, mistakes, or bad decisions you made years ago as if they define you. Whether it’s a joke or a dig, their “reminders” keep you stuck in the past.
Growth means leaving old versions of yourself behind. If someone can’t respect the person you are today, they don’t deserve access to your present.
12. The Person Who Puts You Down In Front Of Other People
They crack jokes at your expense, point out your flaws in front of a group, or make backhanded comments disguised as humor. If you call them out, they tell you to “lighten up” or insist they were just joking.
A real friend hypes you up, not tears you down. If someone consistently uses you as the punchline, they don’t respect you—and you don’t owe them a place in your life.
13. The Person Who Always Conveniently Forgets Their Wallet
Every time you go out, they mysteriously don’t have their wallet, or they promise to “get you next time” (which never happens). At first, it might seem harmless, but over time, you realize they have no problem letting you foot the bill.
Friendship isn’t about keeping score, but it also shouldn’t be one-sided. If someone always expects you to pay, they’re not just forgetful—they’re taking advantage of you.
