13 Types Of Guys You’re Guaranteed To Meet At The Bar

Almost every woman will have been hit on by a guy in a bar at some point in their lives. There are advantages to meeting men in this setting — everyone’s relaxed and (usually) having a good time and there’s no pressure — but if we’ve had too much to drink, it can lead to making some pretty poor choices. The funny thing is, no matter how old you are or where you live, you’re pretty much guaranteed to meet one of these guys at your local watering hole:

  1. Mr Tan-Tastic. There’s always one guy who shows up smothered in fake tan, to the point where he might as well have just coated himself in boot polish. Nine times out of ten, he’ll also have tribal tattoos and be wearing a tank top. He uses cliché pickup lines and cringeworthy methods to get girls and doesn’t seem to understand that we don’t generally like this look.
  2. The Roid-Rager. This guy is seriously angry, though at what, no one’s really sure. He usually wears a t-shirt two sizes too small to make his muscles look bigger, and swaggers up and down with his chest puffed out and his arms at right angles. Don’t speak to him unless you want him to shout in your face.
  3. The Hairy Biker. Leather jacket – check. Long greasy hair – check. Beard – check. Tattoos on his knuckles – check. Despite his appearances, he’s not as intimidating as he looks and is usually a big softie at heart. You’ll find him standing at almost every  bar, but nobody has ever seen his motorcycle parked outside.
  4. The Creep. Avoid this man at all costs. He’ll offer to buy you a drink and then use that as an excuse to peer down your top or rub his hands all over your legs. Run as fast as you can if he approaches you.
  5. The Local Drunk. Every town has at least one, or sometimes even more than one. He tries to be everyone’s friend, but he’s more likely just to get on everyone’s nerves. Most drunks are harmless, and the worst damage they do is spit all over your face when they talk and clumsily spill your beer.
  6. The Under-Ager. Clearly he isn’t old enough to buy alcohol, but he’s found somewhere that will serve him and his friends, so he comes back every weekend. Don’t let him go anywhere near the jukebox!
  7. Mr. Flash With The Cash. Easy to spot, he’s usually buying hot girls drinks at the bar. He mistakenly believes that this is some sort unwritten agreement whereby you’ll sleep with him. Just take the free drink and walk away.
  8. The Drug Dealer. Easily distinguishable since he’s the guy who wears sunglasses, even indoors. Most of the regulars and bar staff know him on first name terms, and he always looks shady even on the nights he’s not making deals and selling (though those are few and far between).
  9. The Know-It-All. Whatever you’ve done, he’s done it faster, longer, higher or better. He’s a loud-mouth who believes his opinions matter more than anyone else’s… until you join him in a pub quiz and realie he actually knows nothing.
  10. The Hard Man. Not to be confused with the ‘Roid Rager, this guy doesn’t have to threaten or intimidate anyone — he’s feared from his reputation alone. Legend has it that he once single-handedly fought off three guys armed with hammers and knives.
  11. The Sports Fan. This guy LOVES his team, and can be found at the bar decked out in the team colors, buying shots each time a goal is scored. He can either be really fun or really miserable to hang out with, depending on the final score.
  12.  The Pedo In The Corner. Everyone recognizes him as a pedophile, yet nobody really knows why. He’s probably just a nice old man.
  13. The Good-Time Gay. He won’t date you, but he sure is fun to hang out with, and isn’t that what it’s really all about?
Ailie is a freelance and creative writer living in Scotland. When she is not busy writing, she will likely be found taking part in political protests, competing in muddy obstacle courses, and climbing mountains. https://ailiewallace.com