You’ve met them. The ones who easily glide through conversations, their charming smiles hiding something deeper. They’re the ones you think you can rely on, but the cracks start to show over time. Here’s a list of subtle, yet unmistakable signs that the “trustworthy” people in your life may not be as solid as they seem.
1. They Always Have A Convenient Excuse
A shady person will never own up to a mistake. They’re quick to explain away their actions with excuses that feel too rehearsed or conveniently timed. Whether it’s a last-minute work emergency or a “forgotten” appointment, their reasons never seem to line up with the facts. At first, it’s easy to let it slide, but when the same pattern emerges, you’ll start wondering what they’re hiding.
If they can’t face up to their actions, it’s a red flag. Genuinely trustworthy people take responsibility, even if it’s uncomfortable, according to Psychology Today. They don’t need to craft elaborate stories to cover their tracks. In the long run, the pattern of excuses can often indicate someone more interested in avoiding consequences than being honest.
2. They Speak Poorly About Others
Notice how they speak about other people when those individuals aren’t around? If someone constantly criticizes others, it’s a surefire sign they’re not as trustworthy as they appear. They’ll tell you everything that’s “wrong” with others—whether it’s their coworkers, friends, or family—but somehow, they never say anything bad about themselves. It might feel like harmless gossip, but it’s often a tactic to deflect suspicion from their character.
This behavior is a major red flag because trustworthy people won’t gossip or spread negativity. They’ll be upfront about their thoughts and won’t hide behind backhanded comments. If someone speaks poorly of others when they’re not present, they’ll likely do the same to you behind your back. The way they treat others when out of earshot is a reflection of how they’ll eventually treat you.
3. They Deflect When Asked About Themselves
When you try to dig into their personal life or ask a simple question about their background, they’ll easily change the subject. Shady people love talking about everyone else, but when it comes to themselves, they’re a vault. They either dodge the question entirely or turn it back on you, creating a situation where you’re the one explaining your life. The more they talk about others, the less they reveal about their own experiences.
If someone constantly keeps you guessing about who they are, it’s a tell-tale sign of manipulation and a form of gaslighting, according to Verywell Mind. Trustworthy individuals don’t shy away from sharing their truths, even if they’re messy or imperfect. People who refuse to give you a glimpse of their world likely have something to hide. The more they refuse to open up, the more you’ll begin to feel like you’re not part of their inner circle.
4. They Are Always The Victim
Shady people are experts at playing the victim. No matter what the situation, they somehow end up being the ones who are wronged. Whether it’s their boss, their friends, or even their family, they can always spin the story to make themselves the hero of their tale. It can be exhausting to hear the same narrative over and over, especially when they never seem to take responsibility for their actions.
This is so dangerous because the victim role allows them to avoid accountability. People who genuinely own their actions understand that sometimes they are in the wrong, and they work to fix it. But someone who constantly paints themselves as the martyr is usually trying to avoid the heat. They manipulate your sympathy to avoid facing any consequences for their behavior.
5. They Are Overly Complementary
Excessive compliments are a subtle way shady people can keep you on their side. It’s not that they genuinely appreciate your talents or qualities—it’s a tactic. They shower you with praise to create a bond and make you feel like you’re special to them, drawing you into their orbit. The goal is not to support you, but to make you more dependent on their validation.
While compliments can be a sign of affection, over-the-top flattery is often a way to manipulate someone into lowering their guard according to Psych Central. Someone who truly values you will recognize your worth without feeling the need to constantly affirm it. Shady people will heap praise on you, hoping you’ll be too flattered to notice their ulterior motives.
6. They Can’t Be Trusted With A Secret
If you share something personal with them, it’ll mysteriously end up being public knowledge sooner than you expect. Trustworthy people understand the value of discretion and honor their word when you ask for privacy. Shady individuals, however, can’t help but gossip. They may pretend to keep your secret safe, but there’s always an “accidental” slip of the tongue.
If you notice that your private matters are suddenly shared with others, it’s a clear sign that trust is being violated. Someone who truly respects you will hold your secrets with care and not betray your confidence. When a shady person can’t respect your privacy, it shows how little regard they have for your trust. They’ll be more interested in using your vulnerability for their benefit.
7. They Are Evasive About Future Plans
Shady people never seem to have a clear answer about their future. They’ll offer vague responses when you ask them about upcoming events, future goals, or even basic plans. Instead of giving you a direct answer, they’ll pivot, make an excuse, or act like they haven’t thought about it yet. It’s not that they’re disorganized—they’re deliberately trying to avoid giving you any insight into their life.
While some level of unpredictability is normal, a constant state of evasion is not. Trustworthy people are clear about their goals and intentions, as studies published in Research Gate show. When someone is constantly dodging questions about the future, it’s because they don’t want to reveal their true plans or intentions. It’s a subtle but telling tactic to keep you in the dark about their real motives.
8. They Avoid Difficult Conversations
Difficult conversations are a nightmare for shady people. They’ll find any excuse to avoid addressing issues head-on, especially if it involves conflict. Whether it’s a disagreement at work or a conversation about feelings in a relationship, they will sidestep the topic with ease. Instead of facing uncomfortable truths, they’d rather leave things unresolved or walk away from tough discussions.
A trustworthy person, on the other hand, will engage in difficult conversations to resolve issues. They don’t shy away from uncomfortable moments because they understand that growth comes from conflict. If someone is always avoiding difficult topics, it’s likely because they don’t want to be held accountable for their actions. The more they dodge, the less you can rely on them when it truly matters.
9. They Give You Mixed Signals
Shady people are masters of inconsistency. One minute they’re all in—showing up, supporting you, and offering help. Next, they’re distant, hard to reach, or sending confusing signals. This back-and-forth behavior can leave you questioning their true intentions. You’ll feel like you’re always trying to decode their actions to understand where you stand.
This unpredictability is their way of keeping you off-balance. Someone trustworthy will be steady and reliable in their behavior toward you. But when mixed signals become the norm, you’ll realize that their actions are intentional, designed to keep you guessing. It’s a subtle form of manipulation that can leave you emotionally drained.
10. They Overcommit To Everything
Shady people love to say “yes” to everything, but they rarely follow through. They commit to plans, promises, and projects without the intention of actually completing them. It’s all about appearing like they’re reliable and involved, but their follow-through is almost nonexistent. When the time comes to act, they backpedal or fail to deliver, leaving you frustrated.
This overcommitting behavior is an attempt to impress, but it ultimately reveals their lack of responsibility. Someone who is genuinely trustworthy will know their limits and won’t promise things they can’t keep. Shady people, however, will stretch themselves too thin just to maintain their image. They say yes to everything, knowing they can get away with doing very little.
11. They Use Flattery To Mask Manipulation
Flattery is a tool for shady people, not a sign of true admiration. They’ll compliment you at the right moments, but underneath the praise lies a hidden agenda. It’s a way of disarming you, making you feel special and valued so they can later ask for favors or manipulate you into compliance. At the time, it feels good to hear, but upon reflection, you’ll realize it was all part of their game.
Flattery can be a genuine form of kindness, but shady people use it to get what they want. They carefully craft compliments to play to your insecurities or desires. If someone showers you with praise, but you feel like there’s a catch, trust your instincts. It’s not about boosting your confidence—it’s about gaining control over yourself.
12. They Are Always In A Rush
Shady individuals are rarely ever at ease. They’re constantly moving, dodging, or in a hurry to get somewhere. Whether it’s a meeting, a call, or a casual hangout, they act like they’re on the clock. The hurried demeanor makes it harder to get a genuine sense of who they are because they’re always rushing to the next thing.
This urgency isn’t just about being busy; it’s a tactic to keep things superficial. They don’t want to be caught off-guard or forced into an honest moment of connection. Someone who values their relationships will take the time to slow down and invest in the people around them. But shady people prefer to keep the conversation light and move quickly so they don’t have to deal with any depth.
13. They Never Give You A Straight Answer
When you ask them a direct question, their answer will always be a meandering path around the truth. They can’t give you a simple response without complicating things with unnecessary details or irrelevant information. They’ll use distractions, humor, or vague statements to avoid providing clarity. It’s their way of keeping you from fully understanding their true position.
Trustworthy people understand the value of transparency. They give clear, direct answers and don’t waste time beating around the bush. But shady individuals use ambiguity as a shield, hoping you won’t press for more details. If you notice this pattern, it’s a sign they have something to hide.
