13 Words You Should Stop Saying—They Make You Sound Incompetent

13 Words You Should Stop Saying—They Make You Sound Incompetent

In today’s fast-paced world of connections, collaborations, and ceaseless chatter, the words you choose are your ultimate statement piece. Just as you wouldn’t wear last year’s fashion faux pas, you shouldn’t slump into linguistic habits that make you sound less capable than you are. You’re here because you want to elevate your social currency, shedding those common verbal crutches that undermine your intelligence. Let’s revamp your vocabulary with panache and precision to match your sophistication.

1. “Like.”

two women chatting at cafe

The pervasive use of “like” as a filler word can make you sound unsure and distract from the point you’re trying to make. It’s often used to buy time while thinking, but it can quickly become a verbal tic that undermines your eloquence. Overuse of “like” can cause your listeners to perceive you as less professional or mature. It’s a habit worth breaking to enhance the clarity and impact of your communication.

To sound more confident and articulate, practice pausing instead of filling the space with “like.” This not only gives you time to gather your thoughts but also makes your speech more deliberate and impactful. People respect those who speak with intention and clarity. Research also indicates that people who maintain good eye contact are perceived as more intelligent and competent.

2. “Um.”

Diverse employees chatting during coffee break, walking in modern office, Asian businesswoman wearing glasses sharing ideas, discussing project with colleague, having pleasant conversation

“Um” is perhaps one of the most common filler words, often used unconsciously when people are thinking on their feet. While it’s a natural part of speech, excessive use can make you seem hesitant or unprepared. It’s an “audible pause” that can disrupt the flow of your communication and make listeners question your confidence. Striving for fluidity in your speech will help diminish the dependence on this verbal crutch.

Try replacing “um” with a deep breath or a brief pause to collect your thoughts. This technique not only helps you maintain composure but also projects an air of confidence and control. Your audience will appreciate the clarity and continuity of your speech, and you’ll come across as more assured. Practice mindfulness in your communication, and your words will resonate with authority.

3. “Just.”

can dating a narcissist work

The word “just” is a sneaky saboteur, quietly undermining your authority and confidence. When you say, “I just wanted to check in,” you may think you’re being polite, but you’re actually minimizing your intent. It’s a throwaway word that diminishes your message’s impact and makes you seem unsure of your stance. According to linguistic expert Dr. Amanda Martinez, eliminating the word “just” can make your communications more assertive and direct.

Instead, try stating your request or point without this hedging word. “I’m checking in” or “I’d like to know” carries a stronger, more confident tone. You’ll command attention and respect by stating what you mean without unnecessary qualifiers. Your words should project confidence, not hesitation.

4. “Actually.”

The word “actually” often sneaks into sentences where it’s not needed, making you sound like you’re self-correcting or second-guessing yourself. It’s often used to introduce something that’s supposed to be surprising, but it often lands with a thud. When you say, “I actually think,” you might unintentionally come across as insecure about your own thoughts. Your listeners don’t need reassurance that your opinions are valid—they need you to deliver them with confidence.

Try dropping “actually” from your vocabulary and see how it changes your communication dynamics. When you simply say, “I think,” you’ll sound more self-assured and assertive. Oversaturating your speech with unnecessary words makes it harder for people to follow your thoughts. Be clear and direct, and others will respect your opinions.

5. “Maybe.”

“Maybe” is the quintessential word of indecision, and nothing screams “incompetent” louder than a lack of certainty. When you pepper your language with “maybes,” you signal that you’re unsure of yourself and your capabilities. It’s a word that hangs in the air, waiting for someone else to make a decision for you. In conversations where confidence is key, “maybe” often leads to misunderstanding and misinterpretation.

Instead, practice making definitive statements, even if they’re more difficult to commit to. Saying “I will” or “I won’t” immediately strengthens your stance, making it clear where you stand. The more you embrace certainty, the more people will trust and rely on your judgment. Your words should be as decisive as you are.

6. “Kind Of.”

man and woman with coffee talking outside

“Kind of” is a verbal crutch that weakens your statements, making you sound unsure or hesitant. When you say something is “kind of” good or “kind of” interesting, you’re undermining your own opinion. Your listeners might interpret this as you not being confident in your own judgment. It’s an easy habit to fall into, but one that’s worth breaking if you want to sound more competent. A study from the University of Chicago found that speakers who use hand gestures are also perceived as more persuasive and clear in their communication.

You don’t need to qualify your opinions with “kind of” if you truly believe in them. Instead, state what you think with certainty, leaving no room for doubt. Your opinions are valid, and they deserve to be expressed with confidence. Be bold, be clear, and trust in your own insights.

7. “Basically.”

Two businesswomen talking and discussing in office. Female colleagues sitting on couch. Work teamwork people job concept

“Basically” is a filler word that often diminishes the power of your statement, suggesting that what you’re about to say is overly simplistic. While it can sometimes be used to distill a concept down to its essence, it’s often unnecessary and redundant. A study by linguist Dr. Deborah Tannen suggests that filler words can make you seem less authoritative. By stripping “basically” from your vocabulary, you allow your messages to shine with clarity and conviction.

Practice delivering your thoughts without leaning on “basically” as a crutch. This not only strengthens your communication but also makes your speech more engaging and direct. Your audience will appreciate your straightforwardness, and you’ll project an image of competence and certainty. Let your words stand on their own merit, without unnecessary qualifiers.

8. “Whatever.”

Skilled engineer team discussion about house model construction. Tracery

“Whatever” is a dismissive word that often conveys disinterest or nonchalance, which can reflect poorly on your professionalism. When you use “whatever” in response to a question or suggestion, it signals that you don’t care enough to engage thoughtfully. This can make you appear disengaged or even apathetic, qualities that don’t exactly scream competence. In professional settings, precision and care in communication are vital.

Instead of resorting to “whatever,” take a moment to express your thoughts or feelings more accurately. If you’re unsure or indifferent, it’s okay to say, “I’m uncertain, let’s explore it further,” or “I’m open to suggestions.” By articulating your stance more clearly, you demonstrate a willingness to engage and contribute meaningfully. Elevate your speech by choosing words that reflect your commitment and interest.

9. “Literally.”

The misuse of “literally” has become a linguistic epidemic, often employed to emphasize statements that aren’t literally true. Misusing it not only undermines your credibility but can also confuse your audience. When you say, “I’m literally dying of laughter,” it’s clear you’re not, and this hyperbolic usage can make you sound less competent. Accuracy in language reflects accuracy in thought, and precision is key to effective communication.

To maintain credibility, reserve “literally” for situations where its use is accurate and necessary. When you do use it correctly, it will have a much stronger impact, underscoring the factual nature of your statement. This not only enhances the clarity of your communication but also ensures your message is taken seriously. Be precise, and your words will carry the weight they deserve.

10. “You Know.”

Positive young businesspeople standing outdoors, discussing and drinking coffee to go. Woman holding tablet and man holding paperwork.

“You know” is a filler phrase that often sneaks into conversations, disrupting the flow and making you sound less articulate. It can give the impression that you’re seeking validation or confirmation from your listener. This undermines your authority and can detract from the strength of your message. While it’s natural to want engagement, relying on “you know” isn’t the way to achieve it.

To communicate more effectively, focus on delivering your message clearly and concisely. Confidence in your statements will naturally engage your audience without needing constant affirmation. By eliminating unnecessary fillers, you’ll sound more articulate and sure of yourself. Let your words stand confidently on their own and trust in your ability to convey your message.

11. “Sorry.”

guy looking judgmental

An apology is often necessary, but overusing the word “sorry” can undermine your confidence and credibility. It’s a habit that many fall into, but when you apologize for every little thing, it dilutes the meaning of genuine apologies. According to psychologist Dr. Harriet Lerner, habitual apologizing can affect how others perceive your competence and self-esteem. Save your apologies for when they truly matter, and find other ways to express regret without devaluing your words.

Substitute “thank you” for “sorry” when appropriate to shift the focus from the negative to the positive. For example, instead of saying, “Sorry for the delay,” you could say, “Thank you for your patience.” This subtle shift in language not only enhances your communication but also increases your perceived confidence. Your words should reflect your understanding and respect without unnecessary self-deprecation.

12. “Hopefully.”

Fizkes/Shutterstock

“Hopefully” is a word that drips with uncertainty, and it’s one you should use sparingly if you want to sound competent. It tends to convey a lack of control over the situation, as if you’re waiting for fate to step in. A study by communications specialist Dr. Laura Maruskin found that people who frequently used words expressing uncertainty were perceived as less competent. If you’re trying to instill confidence in others, relying on hope isn’t the way to go.

Instead, be decisive in your statements and project an air of assurance. Saying “I plan to” or “I expect to” gives the impression that you’re taking charge of your situation. You want to be seen as someone who makes things happen, not someone who waits for them to occur. Sweep the uncertainty aside, and let your words reflect your determination.

13. “I Think.”

Starting sentences with “I think” can weaken your statements and make you sound unsure of your own opinions. While it’s important to acknowledge that opinions are not facts, overusing “I think” can make you seem less confident in your ideas. It subtly suggests that you’re open to contradiction or that you’re unsure of your own assertions. Assertiveness is key when conveying your thoughts and ideas.

Instead of starting with “I think,” simply state your opinion or belief. This shift in language makes you sound more assertive and self-assured, inviting others to engage with your ideas seriously. Your confidence in your communication will encourage others to consider your perspective with the respect it deserves. Own your thoughts and express them with conviction.

Piper Ryan is a NYC-based writer and matchmaker who works to bring millennials who are sick of dating apps and the bar scene together in an organic and efficient way. To date, she's paired up more than 120 couples, many of whom have gone on to get married. Her work has been highlighted in The New York Times, Time Out New York, The Cut, and many more.

In addition to runnnig her own business, Piper is passionate about charity work, advocating for vulnerable women and children in her local area and across the country. She is currently working on her first book, a non-fiction collection of stories focusing on female empowerment.