Body shaming doesn’t always come in obvious forms. Sometimes it’s tucked into offhand comments or “helpful” advice that does more harm than good. The thing is, words about someone’s body—even well-meaning ones—can stick with them in ways you don’t intend. Instead of uplifting, they can cut deep. Here are 14 body-shaming phrases that have no place in any conversation and why you should leave them out of your vocabulary altogether.
1. “You Don’t Look Like You Work Out”
What does a “fit” person even look like? This phrase is a gut punch because it somehow assumes someone’s hard work should reflect in their appearance. Fitness doesn’t come with a dress code. People exercise for all kinds of reasons, not just aesthetics. Saying this minimizes the work they put into their health. If someone shares their fitness journey, the best response is encouragement, not criticism disguised as curiosity. Let their effort speak for itself.
2. “You’ve Really Filled Out”
This one might sound harmless, but it lands like a brick. It’s a sneaky way of pointing out weight gain without outright saying it. And trust us, no one needs or wants you to highlight changes in their body—they already know. Instead of pointing out something so personal, keep your focus on things that actually matter, like their accomplishments or personality. Compliments that don’t involve someone’s size are always a safer, kinder choice.
3. “At Least You’re Not as Big/Small as Them”
This phrase might sound like you’re trying to be reassuring, but all it does is pit people against each other. Comparing someone to others doesn’t boost their confidence—it drags everyone down. Bodies aren’t a competition, and framing them that way is harmful for everyone involved. If you’re trying to compliment someone, focus on their unique qualities without dragging anyone else into it. Compliments are more powerful when they stand on their own.
4. “You Should Be Grateful for Your Body”
Gratitude is great, but using it to dismiss someone’s feelings isn’t. Saying this implies they’re wrong for struggling with their body image. It minimizes their experience and adds guilt on top of everything else. Instead, try listening to what they’re feeling without offering unsolicited advice. A little empathy goes a long way. Let them express themselves without judgment—it’s far more helpful than pushing a “just be grateful” narrative.
5. “Real Men/Women Have Curves/Muscles”
This phrase might seem empowering, but it’s anything but. By declaring what “real” men or women should look like, you exclude anyone who doesn’t fit that mold. Every body is real, whether it’s curvy, slim, muscular, or none of the above. No one’s worth should hinge on how they measure up to someone else’s idea of “real.” Instead, celebrate the diversity of bodies and let people define themselves on their own terms.
6. “Are You Sure You Want to Eat That?”
If you’ve ever said this, it’s time to retire it for good and never bring it out again. Commenting on someone’s food choices is a surefire way to make them self-conscious, whether you meant to or not. Food is personal, and no one needs your unsolicited opinion about their plate. If you’re genuinely concerned about their health, there are kinder, more thoughtful ways to approach the topic—preferably by focusing on support, not judgment.
7. “You’re So Brave to Wear That”
On the surface, this might seem like a compliment, but it’s loaded with a whole lot of backhanded judgment. Telling someone they’re “brave” for wearing something implies their body doesn’t fit societal standards for that style. Here’s a tip: if you like what someone’s wearing, just say that. There’s no need to qualify it with comments about their body. Compliment the outfit, not the perceived risk of wearing it—it’s that simple.
8. “Wow, You’ve Lost Weight—What’s Your Secret?”
Weight loss isn’t always a sign of health or happiness. For all you know, their weight change could be tied to illness, stress, or something deeply personal. Praising it without context can unintentionally reinforce unhealthy behaviors or reopen wounds. Instead of focusing on someone’s body, try asking how they’re feeling or what’s new in their life. It’s a much kinder way to connect without putting their appearance under a microscope.
9. “You Have Such a Pretty Face”
This phrase has been doing damage for decades. While it might seem complimentary, it implies that the rest of someone’s body doesn’t measure up. Compliments like this divide beauty into parts, as if someone’s value can be neatly boxed up. It’s time to celebrate the whole person, not just the parts you decide to like. Whether it’s their sense of humor, their creativity, or their confidence, there’s always something more meaningful to highlight than a backhanded “pretty face” comment.
10. “You Look So Skinny—Are You Okay?”
Skinny-shaming is just as damaging as other forms of body shaming. By pointing out someone’s size, you’re making their body the focus in a way that can feel invasive or judgmental. If you’re worried about their well-being, ask how they’re doing in a way that doesn’t zero in on their weight. People’s bodies are their business, and conversations about health are more meaningful when they’re not tied to appearance.
11. “You Don’t Need to Work Out—You’re Already Thin”
Fitness isn’t just about size, and thinness doesn’t automatically mean health. This comment dismisses the reasons someone might choose to exercise, whether it’s for mental clarity, strength, or overall well-being. By reducing fitness to weight loss, you reinforce the harmful idea that exercise is only for changing how you look. Instead, why not try to celebrate their dedication to staying active without tying it to their body? It’s a much more meaningful way to show support.
12. “I Wish I Had Your Problem”
When someone opens up about their struggles with weight or body image, this phrase is dismissive at best but it’s mostly just offensive. It minimizes their feelings and turns a personal challenge into something you wish for, completely missing the point. People’s experiences with their bodies are complex and often tied to emotional struggles you can’t see. Instead of making it about you, try offering a listening ear—it’s far more supportive than an offhand remark.
13. “Healthy Looks Good on You”
This might sound positive, but it’s often interpreted as a subtle critique of how they looked before. Health isn’t always visible, and tying it to appearance reinforces harmful stereotypes about what “healthy” should look like. Complimenting someone’s energy, positivity, or glow is a much safer way to express admiration. It shifts the focus away from their body and toward qualities that truly matter.
14. “You’d Be Perfect If You Just…”
This phrase is a confidence killer, no matter how it’s framed. It suggests someone’s worth is conditional, tied to meeting some arbitrary standard. People are already bombarded with societal pressures to look a certain way—adding your opinion to the mix doesn’t help. Instead of focusing on what you think they should change, celebrate who they are now. Everyone deserves to feel like they’re enough just as they are.
This content was created by a real person with the assistance of AI.