14 Early Signs He Was A Douchebag That I Should’ve Paid Attention To

I met him and felt such a strong attraction that I found myself ignoring signs he was a total jerk. The result? I ended up with my heart broken. These are 14 of the signs that were staring me in the face which were good enough reasons for me to walk away instead of wasting my time:

  1. He was a raincloud. From our first date, the guy had something to complain about. At first it seemed funny, but after a while, his sarcasm and complaining were annoying AF. It was like he was carrying his own personal raincloud everywhere he went and soon he ended up raining on my parade.
  2. He argued about a table. On one of our dates, we went to a restaurant and I took a bit of time to choose where I wanted to sit. He snapped, “It’s just a f*cking table!” which I thought was a little harsh—calm down, dude—but didn’t think it was a biggie. It was—it showed that he was super impatient and had rage issues.
  3. He told me his number when I didn’t ask. We’d been dating for a few weeks when he told me that he’d slept with 20 other women. Great. Did I need to know that? It felt a bit odd since I hadn’t asked. As time went on and he kept talking about himself as a wonderful lover, I realized the guy was trying to impress me. Ugh.
  4. He told me I’d never pick up a bill. When I offered to pay for our first date drinks, he said, “No, I’ll get this.” Sweet, right? But then the next time I tried to take the bill, he said, “No, you’ll never pay for anything. I’ll get every bill.” Um, this was a little troubling and creepy, like he was a father figure or something. Relationships are supposed to be fair and I don’t want to be with a guy who thinks that a man’s got to earn all the money and pay all the bills, which is exactly what he thought because he was so stuck in his traditional ideas.
  5. He tried to be the perfect guy. He knew that I value my mom and we’re really close and so one day when we were in the car, he said he wanted to say hi to his mom. I found it a bit weird that he had to choose that moment right then to phone her, but whatever. In time, I realized the guy was just pretending to come across as the perfect guy by showing off. He actually didn’t have a good relationship with his mom at all! Creepy.
  6. He was blunt, which was code for “mean.” During a phone conversation, he’d asked me about my day and then snapped at me for telling him too much of a long story. WTF? I was shocked by his tone but wrote it off—yes, really! I thought maybe I was the problem and that I spoke too much. No! It was that he was a loser.
  7. He built me up then broke me down. When guys give a woman a compliment then criticize her in the same breath, it’s really messed up. I know that it’s supposed to be a flirting tactic, but come on! What woman will fall for that? Sadly, when this guy tried it on me, I allowed it to happen. When he picked me up for a date, he said, “Your hair looks gorgeous… but what’s with the shoes?” Immediately, I argued with him because I loved those sexy strappy pink shoes, but then I realized this is exactly what he wanted – for me to need his approval. I’d fallen into his sick game.
  8. He got angry when I canceled our date. I enjoyed spending time with him, but one day work got in the way of meeting up with him. When I took a rain check on our date, he was angry. At the time, I thought it meant he really cared. Meanwhile, he was just a selfish creep!
  9. He wanted me to take the lead. Soon after I canceled our date, he left everything about our future dates up to me. I had to choose where we went, which restaurant I wanted to have dinner at, what time we should meet, and so on. It made me feel like he was either not keen to make a real effort or he just wanted me to prove to him that I wanted to go out with him after canceling our date. I hate it when a guy is so arrogant that he plays games.
  10. He was competitive. Whenever I told him about my great day, he had to tell me about how much his day was better. Geez, the guy was so competitive, even when it came to how crappy things could be. I remember once talking to him about how I was having car problems and he was quick to say, “That’s nothing. I’ve had so much worse.” Ugh.
  11. He was a jerk to others. In the early stages of our relationship, he was always nice to me. But then sometimes we were out and I’d see how much of a jerk he could be to other people. For instance, once he bumped into a friend of his and was really nice to him… until the guy left. Then he only had bad things to say about him. It was such a turn-off. I worried that sooner or later, he’d be doing that behind my back.
  12. He made a big show of his money. Whenever we went out, he would splash money like it was water, and since he wanted to pay for every bill, I saw his wallet a lot. He’d make a big show of how much of a great tip he was giving the waiter, which wasn’t kindness at all but all about trying to be seen as a kind, successful man. What a loser.
  13. He was Mr. advice. At first I thought his need to give me advice was sweet… until he gave me advice when I never even asked him for it! Worst of all, he was trying to give me tips on my career, which he knew absolutely nothing about. Staying in a relationship with this guy would’ve been a huge mansplaining session. No thanks.
  14. He was an inconsistent texter. We chatted via text every day or so, but whenever I initiated contact, I was always plagued by worry: would he answer me? He seemed to text only when he felt like it. His texting habits were never consistent. It felt like he was giving me mixed messages, keeping me on my toes. What finally made me stop giving this guy my energy and affection was when I texted him to ask for help because my car was stuck on the highway. I got no reply for days. Ugh. What a jerk.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.