14 Glaring Signs Your Partner Doesn’t Respect You

14 Glaring Signs Your Partner Doesn’t Respect You

Being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect you is a one-way ticket to misery and self-doubt. You deserve to be with a partner who values and appreciates you, not someone who constantly tears you down or treats you like an afterthought. If you’re wondering whether your partner truly respects you, it’s time to take a hard look at their behavior. Here are 14 glaring signs that your partner doesn’t respect you.

1. They dismiss your feelings and opinions.

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If your partner consistently brushes off your thoughts and emotions like they’re insignificant, that’s a major red flag. They might roll their eyes when you express yourself, or constantly interrupt you to share their own perspective. A respectful partner will make an effort to understand and validate your feelings, even if they don’t always agree with you. They’ll create a safe space for you to be heard and will take your opinions seriously.

2. They give you the silent treatment.

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The silent treatment is a manipulative tactic that disrespectful partners often use to punish or control their significant others. If your partner regularly shuts down and refuses to communicate when they’re upset, that’s a sign that they don’t respect you enough to work through issues in a mature way. Respectful partners are willing to have difficult conversations and don’t use silence as a weapon.

3. They criticize you constantly.

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Does your partner always have something negative to say about your appearance, your work, or your hobbies? Constant criticism is a clear sign of disrespect. A partner who truly respects you will build you up, not tear you down. They’ll offer constructive feedback when necessary, but they’ll also make a point to acknowledge your strengths and accomplishments. If your partner’s criticism makes you feel small or worthless, that’s not okay.

4. They’re always “too busy” for you.

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If your partner is constantly blowing you off or canceling plans at the last minute, that’s a sign that you’re not a priority in their life. A respectful partner will make time for you, even when they have a lot going on, because they value your connection, Psychology Today notes. They’ll be proactive about scheduling dates and check-ins, and they’ll follow through on their commitments. If your partner is always “too busy” for you, it might be time to reevaluate the relationship.

5. They flirt with other people in front of you.

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Flirting with other people in front of your partner is a blatant display of disrespect. If your partner is constantly making eyes at someone else or engaging in inappropriate banter, that’s a sign that they don’t value your feelings or your relationship. A respectful partner will save their flirtation for you and will make it clear to other people that they’re off the market.

6. They lie to you repeatedly.

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Lying is a major breach of trust and respect in a relationship. If your partner is consistently deceiving you, whether it’s about small things or big things, that’s a serious problem. A respectful partner will be honest with you, even when the truth is difficult. They’ll own up to their mistakes and work to rebuild trust when necessary. If your partner is a chronic liar, it’s time to have a serious conversation.

7. They don’t keep your secrets.

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When you share something personal with your partner, you’re trusting them to keep that information private. If your partner is constantly spilling your secrets to their friends or family, that’s a sign that they don’t respect your privacy or your boundaries. A respectful partner will understand the importance of confidentiality and will keep your trust.

8. They make big decisions without consulting you.

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Respectful partners make decisions together, especially when those decisions impact both people in the relationship. If your partner is constantly making big choices without your input, whether it’s about finances, living arrangements, or family matters, that’s a red flag. It shows that they don’t value your perspective or consider you an equal partner in the relationship.

9. They use your insecurities against you.

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If your partner knows about your deepest insecurities and uses them as ammunition in arguments, that’s a major sign of disrespect. A respectful partner will help you work through your insecurities and build you up, not exploit them for their own gain. Using someone’s vulnerabilities against them is a form of emotional abuse and should not be tolerated.

10. They don’t respect your boundaries.

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Healthy relationships require clear boundaries. If your partner consistently ignores or stomps all over your boundaries, whether they’re physical, emotional, or sexual, that’s a huge problem. A respectful partner will take the time to understand your limits and will make an effort to honor them. They won’t pressure you into doing things you’re not comfortable with or make you feel guilty for having boundaries in the first place.

11. They often “forget” important things about you.

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Does your partner regularly forget your birthday, your food allergies, or the name of your best friend? While occasional forgetfulness is normal, consistently failing to remember important details about you is a sign of disrespect. It shows that your partner isn’t making an effort to really know and understand you. A respectful partner will pay attention to the things that matter to you and will make a point to remember them.

12. They give you backhanded compliments.

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Backhanded compliments are a sneaky way of putting someone down while pretending to be nice, Forbes explains. If your partner often says things like, “You look great for your age,” or “I’m surprised you were able to do that,” it’s a sign that they don’t truly respect you. A respectful partner will give you genuine compliments that don’t have a hidden insult attached.

13. They don’t respect your time.

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If your partner is constantly showing up late, keeping you waiting, or wasting your time with their indecisiveness, that’s a sign of disrespect. It shows that they don’t value your schedule or your commitments. A respectful partner will make an effort to be punctual and will communicate clearly if they’re running behind. They won’t leave you hanging or expect you to always work around their schedule.

14. They don’t apologize or take responsibility for their actions.

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No one is perfect, and even the most respectful partners will make mistakes sometimes. The key is how they handle those mistakes. If your partner never apologizes or takes responsibility for their hurtful actions, that’s a major red flag. A respectful partner will own up to their missteps, offer a sincere apology, and work to make things right. They won’t blame you for their behavior or expect you to just get over it without any effort on their part.

Harper Stanley graduated from Eugene Lang College at The New School in NYC in 2006 with a degree in Media Studies and Literature and Critical Analysis. After graduating, she worked as an editorial assistant at The Atlantic before moving to the UK to work for the London Review of Books.

When she's not waxing poetic about literature, she's writing articles about dating, relationships, and other women's lifestyle topics to help make their lives better. While shocking, she really has somehow managed to avoid joining any social media apps — a fact she's slightly smug about.
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