14 Questions I Wish I Could Ask My First Love

14 Questions I Wish I Could Ask My First Love ©iStock/BraunS

Love first found me well over a decade ago when I was still a naive teenager. I’ve grown since then and had my fair share of heartbreaks, but I still myself thinking about that first love and how different it felt. No, I’m not interested in getting back together, but this was the guy who first told me he loved me and made me believe that love wasn’t just in romance novels. Here’s what I wish I could ask him now:

  1. Do you still think about me? I hate to think I’m the only one who thinks about those simpler times. Yes, I realize that makes me sound old, but to a teenager, 31 is old. I hope you still remember me from time to time and smile, just like I do.
  2. What made you fall in love with me? Was it my sense of humor or klutzy demeanor? Did you like dating the smart girl? I fell for your smile and how easy you were to talk to. I just never knew what it was about me that made you fall too.
  3. What didn’t you like about me? I guess what I really want to know is if I’ve improved some of those bad qualities since then. Was I too talkative? Did I show enough emotion? I know you weren’t thrilled with me not wanting to have sex, but thanks for respecting my wishes. That alone made you one of the better guys.
  4. Have you loved since then? I know nothing quite feels like your first love, but I’d like to think you’ve had the chance to love again. I still care about you and want you to have the same kind of loving partner I do.
  5. Did I impact your life at all? Loving you was an experience I’ll never forget. It changed my personality and my views on life. Some say I’m more cynical, but I just say I’m less naive. Did I have any major impact on your life? Were you better or worse for it?
  6. What did you learn about love from us? I learned that love can end, but I also learned that it existed. Did you learn anything at all? Did it make it easier to love after me or did you hold back? I thought I’d never love again, but I’m glad I was wrong.
  7. Did I hurt you? I know you always liked to seem as if nothing bothered you, but I’ve always wondered if I hurt you. Did you ever cry or listen to sappy breakup songs? I hope any pain I caused you didn’t hold you back from finding someone wonderful.
  8. What’s your favorite memory? First love gives you the chance to make so many unique memories. You have all these great firsts together. What’s your favorite memory? I think our late night conversations about our hopes and dreams were always my favorite thing.
  9. Did you ever think about trying again? I know we still talked off and on for a while, but did you ever consider getting back together with me? I admit it crossed my mind, but it hurt way too much when we broke up. Sadly, I don’t think it would’ve ended any better if we’d tried again.
  10. How long did it take you to move on? I’m not talking about just dating someone again, but how long did it really take you to feel a connection with someone new? It took me over a year, but I’m guessing you probably moved on quicker. You were always good at moving past bad situations.
  11. What could I have done differently? I know now that nothing I could’ve done would have made our relationship last forever, but was there anything you wish I’d done differently? It’d be nice to know if there’s any way I could possibly do better today.
  12. Do you think different circumstances would’ve made a difference? Maybe if we’d met after high school or our friends would’ve actually gotten along, things might have been easier. I know it’s just nostalgic thinking, but I used to wonder if we’d have worked out longer if things had been different.
  13. Why couldn’t we be friends? We clicked perfectly when we were in love, but after we broke up, we barely spoke at all. I know we tried a few times, but somehow friendship never worked out. Of all my exes, you were the one I wanted to stay friends with. Why couldn’t we make things work?
  14. Are you happy now? If you don’t answer any other question, just let me know if you’re happy now. At the end of the day, it’s the one thing I’ve always wondered since we lost touch. Did you get the job you dreamed about? Are you in love with a wonderful woman who appreciates all your quirks? I wish you the best and hope you’re as happy as I am.
Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.