14 Signs He Has Multiple Dates Tonight & You’re Just One Of Many

A study by eHarmony Australia found that millennials tend to date six people at once. Yikes—talk about keeping one’s options open. How can you tell the guy you’re on a date with probably has other dates lined up tonight? Here are 14 signs:

  1. He’s rushing it. He rocks up late, out of breath from running into the restaurant or he’s eager to have a drink and then bounce. What’s the rush? Maybe he’s just come from another date or he’s heading to one later. If he can’t chill out and really enjoy time with you, though, then he’s not worth the effort you put into meeting him.
  2. He’s glued to his phone. You’re asking him about his life and he keeps darting eyes to his phone that’s incessantly beeping and buzzing. Ugh. If he simply has to reply to messages, maybe it’s another romantic interest confirming his date for later. What else could be so urgent that he can’t leave it for later?
  3. He freshens up before leaving. After you’ve settled the bill, he says he just has to pop into the bathroom. When he comes out, it looks like he’s brushed his hair and put on more cologne. Clearly he’s dressing up for someone, and it’s obviously not the cat he lives with.
  4. He says he has plans later. When you ask him what he’s going to do for the rest of the night, he tells you he’s got somewhere to be, but he keeps it mysterious. Ugh, is he trying to spare your feelings by not telling you he’s going on another date? It would be better if he was just honest with you!
  5. He doesn’t talk about what he’s looking for. When you talk about what you’re both looking for in relationships, he doesn’t seem to say much. A guy who’s dating multiple people simultaneously will keep his feelings out of the picture until he knows which woman he’s keen to pursue, so for now he’s leaving you hanging.
  6. He doesn’t really talk about himself much, tbh. It’s refreshing to find a guy who doesn’t dominate your first-date conversation, but if he’s hardly saying anything about himself that’s also a bad thing. Why’s he holding back so much? It could be that he doesn’t want to get too close because he’s not sure if he’s ready to kick casual dating to the curb.  
  7. He doesn’t say he’ll call. You had a great date but he doesn’t say he’ll text or call you. Instead, he gives you a compliment like saying what a great woman you are. It sounds sweet, but it might also be a way for him to show some interest without committing to seeing you again because he doesn’t know what’s going to happen with his other dates.
  8. He says “maybe” a lot. You take the lead and invite him over to your place for dinner next week. Instead of giving you a straight answer, he says “maybe” he’ll be able to make it. Either this guy’s playing hard to get or he’s got dates lined up, which means you’re his option instead of his priority. Oh, hell no.
  9. He said he was just “checking things out.” Go back to when you first met the guy on a dating app. When you asked him why he signed up to it, he said that he wanted to “check things out” or “see what was out there.” Now, you’re dating and he still hasn’t put a label on your relationship. It seems he’s still just “checking things out”, in other words dating lots of people. Ugh.
  10. He asks if you’re dating other people. When he asks you if you’re seeing anyone else, it could be a way for him to figure out your feelings. It’s also the perfect opportunity for him to come clean about having multiple dates—or see if he’s going to lose you by confessing that he’s dating three other women, in which case he’d rather keep his mouth shut.
  11. He didn’t lift a finger to make the date happen. A guy who’s dating lots of people simultaneously won’t be able to make a full-blown effort when planning dates with you. If he tends to leave the dates up to you, from where you meet and what you want to do, it’s clear he’s just along for the ride. Screw that.
  12. He’s still on the dating site. If you met him on a dating app, you might not be able to resist logging back in to see if he’s been online. He’ll see you’re online too, but that’s probably a risk worth taking if you get the feeling you’re not the only one in his life. If you keep checking his profile, you’ll be able to see if he’s always online and therefore making a real effort to find dates. If so, clearly he’s keeping his dating options open and he’s not interested enough in you.
  13. He talks about other women. He might not perve over other women or even talk about other dates, but you can tell from subtle things he says that you’re not the only one he’s taking for dinner. He might mention a new colleague a lot or talk about “some woman he knows”—and his eyes light up when he does. These signs could point to some other love interest, or the fact that he’s dating lots of women, but either way it’s shady.
  14. He always has work functions to attend. It’s not believable if he’s always going away for work, attending work events, or doing lots of other work-related things that creep into his spare time. WTF, is he dating his work? Having so many work commitments whenever you want to see him usually points to him having other women in his life. Even if he doesn’t, it’s dodgy if he never invites you along to all those important functions. Ditch him and find someone who’s committed to you and wants to show you off!
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.