14 Signs Of A Mature Adult Relationship

We all want our relationships to be happy, healthy, and mature. We all want to be with people who are on the same page as us as far as adulthood and stability go. It’s true that a lot of maturity comes with age and life experience, but unfortunately, some people just won’t get there no matter how old they are. So, how do you know if your current relationship is a real, grown-up situation that you can depend on? Here are some signs to look out for.

  1. You both have drive. Drive and ambition are extremely important in general but also within romantic relationships. If you’re a very motivated person who gets things done and has goals that you’re constantly working to achieve and your partner is motivated and has great work ethic as well, it’s a definite sign of the maturity of your relationship.
  2. You share responsibilities. Splitting up the general responsibilities of your relationship is definitely a sign of a mature relationship, especially if you’re living together and the responsibilities include things like paying bills, cleaning, and grocery shopping. Making sure that each of you is handling your fair share of the work is definitely a sign of a mature relationship.
  3. You always hype each other up. Mutual support is extremely important in relationships and a real sign of maturity is when both you and your partner get excited and hype each other up when one of you achieves success or positive things in life. Even if one of you is struggling harder to make things happen while the other seems to be winning at everything, you look at one of your successes as BOTH of your successes. Not only that, but you feel proud and excited when one of you achieves something great.
  4. You consider consequences. Having the wisdom and the sense to foresee possible consequences of choices is a sign of a mature relationship because when you think about the outcome of things before you do them, it’s showing that you’re not just living in the moment but thinking about the future. When couples are thinking like mature adults, they’re more concerned with how choices could impact their relationship in the long run and now just living in the here and now.
  5. You talk about the future. Similar to considering consequences, thinking about your future in general is a sign that your relationship is on the mature track. If you’re thinking about where you’ll be months or even years from the present and making plans towards that future together, chances are that your relationship is strong and headed in a good direction.
  6. You fight fairly. All couples experience arguments and times where they’re upset with each other, but fighting fairly is a very important part of having a grown-up relationship. Examples of fighting unfairly would be things like yelling, calling names, dredging up the past, and stonewalling. If you and your partner are able to work through your arguments calmly and rationally, it’s a definite sign of maturity.
  7. You can disagree respectfully. Disagreeing on certain subjects is bound to happen at some point during your relationship and contrary to what some people might think, it’s totally okay if you and your partner have varying opinions on certain things. It’s not about agreeing with each other on everything 100%. It’s about understanding the fact that each of you is entitled to your own opinion and respecting that opinion, even if it’s different from yours.
  8. Your communication is on point. Communicating with your partner often and effectively is a definite trait of maturity. If you’re going through something, experiencing frustration, or need advice or comfort in a situation, being able to reach out to your partner and communicate your feelings to them effectively is key to building a strong and successful relationship.
  9. You protect each other. Looking out for your partner is an important part of a mature, adult relationship. It’s important that you always stand behind your partner and defend them when they need you. You’re a team and you need to be on their side even if that means disagreeing with your friends or family. You can definitely stick by your partner without offending or ruining your relationships with anyone else.
  10. You trust each other. Trust is an important quality of a mature relationship. If you and your partner have trust in each other and don’t need to do things like check each other’s phones, keep constant tabs on each other, and don’t let jealousy get the best of you and start conflict within your relationship, you’re doing it right.
  11. You respect boundaries. In mature, adult relationships, the people involved recognize that even though they’re a couple, they’re still individuals and have boundaries that need to be respected in order for your relationship to prosper. You still need to make time for yourselves, have alone time, and do things separate from your relationship. If your partner wants to do some things on their own, appreciate and respect that, and they should do the same for you.
  12. There’s no manipulation. Unfortunately, manipulation is a tactic that’s used all too often in unhealthy and immature relationships. When one person isn’t getting their way they might use manipulation and guilt to sway the other person or to make them feel bad for disagreeing with them. In a mature, adult relationship, neither of you use manipulation to get your way because you know it’s unfair and doesn’t actually solve any problems.
  13. You don’t try to change each other. When you’re in a happy and healthy relationship, you don’t want to change each other. You love, appreciate, and accept each other just the way you are. The two of you should want to grow and improve together and that might contain some element of change along the way. However, that change should be something that you choose individually and not something that feels forced on either one of you.
  14. Your relationship feels easy. It may sound simple and a little superficial but it’s true. When you’re in a mature, adult relationship, things just feel easy and light. The two of you know yourselves and know your relationship and you’re each doing what you can to make sure your relationship is healthy and strong. If you find that things just seem to come easily within your relationship and there’s not a lot of struggle or many problems, it’s a good sign that what you’ve got is a real, mature relationship. Take care of it.
Shelby is a journalist and fiction writer raised in the South but built for the big city. She's a book nerd (well, an overall nerd, honestly) and coffee addict and obsessed with all things leather and lacy.

She has a bachelor’s degree in Mass Communication and Media Studies from Sam Houston State University and worked for her university newspaper, The Houstonian, as well as serving as a producer and part-time entertainment anchor for Cable 7 Huntsville. You can follow her on Twitter @shelby777.