When a breakup happens, it can be hard to believe it’s truly all over. The sad truth is that we can’t always keep relationships together, no matter how hard we try or how much we love the person we used to be with. However, there are also many times when a breakup isn’t really a breakup because there’s still a chance to save things. Here’s how to tell if it’s over for good.
- You’re relieved that you don’t have to talk to him anymore. Any time a breakup feels like a happy occasion, it’s clear that it’s over. Similarly, if you have reason to believe that your ex is feeling happy about it, it’s likely a done deal.
- All your stuff is back at your place. Usually it’s not over until your stuff is all back at your place. Words are typically exchanged when items are dropped off or picked up, and if nothing happened there, it’s probably not going to happen afterwards.
- One or both of you have gotten new partners. Is there ever a clearer sign that it’s really over? If one of you has moved on, chances are high that it’s done for good. Sure, there could be hope in the distant future, but it’s not going to happen in the near future.
- You really can’t think of anything else to discuss with your ex, or soon-to-be ex. Perhaps the easiest way to tell if a relationship is over is when you notice that you’re struggling to talk to him the way that you used to. If you’re always initiating conversation, or if he seems disinterested in chats, it’s usually over — even if you’re not broken up yet. After all, you can’t have a relationship without communication.
- He disrespects you, uses you, gaslights you, or abuses you. If he does this, it’s done. Kaput. Over. Do not allow this to continue!
- His formerly “cute” traits are now annoying as hell. This is the ultimate sign that it’s over, because you’ve totally fallen out of love with him.
- You’ve stopped having sex, it’s one-sided, or it just plain sucks. This is a sign that attraction may have gone out the window, or that your partner is cheating. While it may be possible to get the spark back, it’s usually an uphill battle with an unwilling partner.
- You’re not jealous or sad when you imagine him with anyone else. Jealousy is a key indicator that you’re still into a person. If you don’t feel jealous, or if you don’t care that your ex or soon to be ex is no longer there, it’s been over for quite a while.
- Voicing your concerns ends in a serious blowup. This is a sign that there’s no chance of reconciliation. You can’t have a one-sided make up, and if he’s not even willing to discuss issues, then you’re not going to get him to cooperate with you.
- You wouldn’t trust him as far as you can throw him. Even if he’s is trying to make things work, if you can’t bring yourself to trust him or even give him a chance to prove his honesty, it’s done. There’s no such thing as a functional relationship without trust.
- You honestly have no idea what he’s up to, aside from posts you see on Facebook. If your ex is no longer talking about his life, it’s a sign that you’re now totally disconnected. Simply put, this is a sign that you’re no longer in his life.
- You’re pretty sure you’re his priority #32,125. If everything else takes priority over you, or if everything else takes priority over him, you two are done. In a normal relationship, or even a reconcilable breakup, you both would still score pretty high up on each other’s priority lists.
- His friends and family hate you, or vice-versa. From personal experience, once friends and family warn you from taking an ex back, it’s done. Even if you two did get back together, it wouldn’t be the same, and you’d have to deal with people pressuring you to leave him (or the other way around).
- You’re already looking for a replacement. It’s totally normal to fantasize about other people once in a while, but when you actually start making moves to make it happen, that’s a good sign that you should break up.
Breakups happen, and while we often wish they wouldn’t, it’s usually for the best. These things happen, and there’s not much you can do to control it when it does.
