Being in a relationship should be one of the best things about life, but when you’re with a toxic partner, it can make you feel the total opposite. Suddenly, you start doubting yourself, wondering if you’re the problem, and even questioning your worth. If any of these behaviors sounds all too familiar, your partner is toxic and making you doubt everything about yourself.
1. They’re Constantly Threatening to Leave
A toxic partner might use threats of leaving or withdrawing from the relationship to control your behavior. They’ll say things like, “Maybe we should just break up,” during arguments, knowing that the fear of losing them will make you back down. This constant instability leaves you questioning the relationship and your worth in it.
2. Their Charm Turned to Criticism Fast
At first, everything seems great—they’re attentive and maybe even a little too perfect. But as time goes on, the compliments turn into criticisms. What was once praise becomes nitpicky about how you do everything, from your job to how you dress. Little by little, they unravel, and what’s left is someone who constantly puts you down, making you question your value.
3. They’re Keeping Score
In a healthy relationship, partners support each other without keeping track of who did what. But a toxic person loves to keep score, reminding you of all the times they’ve “done something for you” to guilt-trip you into doing things their way. This behavior makes you feel like you’re always in debt to them, which erodes your confidence.
4. They Make Everything Your Fault
In a healthy relationship, you both need to take your fair share of the blame, but with a toxic partner, it’s always your fault. Somehow, they’ll twist every situation to make you believe it’s because of something you did or didn’t do. Over time, you’ll start to feel like everything is your fault.
5. They Gaslight You into Believing You’re Crazy
Ever had someone make you doubt your memories or feelings? That’s called gaslighting. A toxic partner will often tell you that you’re imagining things or overreacting. You might start thinking, “Maybe I’m the one who’s wrong here,” when it’s just a manipulative way to control you.
6. They’re Threatened by Your Friends and Family
A toxic partner often tries to cut you off from the people who care about you—whether it’s friends, family, or even coworkers. They might tell you, “They don’t care about you,” or “You’re better off without them.” Over time, you may spend less time with the people who remind you of your worth and more time with your partner, who denigrates you.
7. They Use Affection as a Weapon
In a healthy relationship, love and affection are a given—not something you have to earn. But a toxic partner will withhold affection as a way to punish you. Maybe it’s the silent treatment, or they’re emotionally distant—whatever it is, it leaves you feeling like you have to jump through hoops.
8. They Compare You to Others
Toxic partners love to play the comparison game, often saying things like, “Why can’t you be more like so-and-so?” or “They wouldn’t do that.” This constant comparison is meant to make you feel like you’re never enough, no matter how hard you try. After a while, you start believing you’re not good enough.
9. They Dismiss Your Feelings
In a toxic relationship, your feelings often get ignored. They might tell you, “You’re overreacting,” or “You’re too sensitive.” After hearing that enough, you start to doubt whether your feelings are valid at all, and that’s a slippery slope toward losing touch with your own emotional needs.
10. They Make You Second-Guess Every Decision
A toxic partner might constantly undermine your decisions. Whether it’s about where to eat, how you handle work, or how you spend your time, they’ll always have a “better” idea. Eventually, you start questioning your ability to make choices, no matter how small.
11. They Make You Feel Insecure About Your Appearance
Toxic partners can be critical of your looks, body, or how you present yourself. They’ll make backhanded comments like, “Are you really going to wear that?” or “You’d look better if you lost a little weight.” Over time, you start doubting your attractiveness and self-worth.
12. They Guilt-trip You Into Doing Things
Whether spending time with them, doing them favors, or even making big decisions, they’ll often use guilt to manipulate you. They might say things like, “If you really loved me, you’d do this,” making you feel like you’re always letting them down if you don’t comply.
13. They Control the Finances
A toxic partner might control your access to money or make you feel guilty about your spending. They’ll question your financial decisions or withhold money to exert control. This leaves you feeling powerless and dependent on them for even basic needs.
14. They Play the Victim Role
In every disagreement, they flip the script and make themselves the victim. Whether they were clearly in the wrong or not, somehow, you end up comforting them or apologizing. Over time, this makes you feel like you’re the unreasonable one, even when you’re not.
